Not so long ago, my wife and I were talking to a recently-divorced friend of ours. She’s younger than we are, in her early thirties, and as far as she’s concerned, she’s never tying the knot again. Not because of an objection to the institution, but because she’s convinced that most men marry for one reason: they want to be taken care of emotionally.
“I got tired of thinking about someone else’s needs all the time,” our friend said. “I’m prepared to take care of a baby. But I don’t want my first-born to be my second child.” When she heard that, my wife turned to me and gave me a grin. She knows my history.
In three previous marriages and a handful of other long-term relationships (I haven’t been single for long since I was 16), I found myself—like so many men—taking on the parts of the “naughty boy” and the “helpless child.” Time and again, I turned wives and girlfriends into mother-figures, and the result was inevitably disastrous. Keep reading »
I never thought it would get this serious. First it was an after-work thing. Then it was weekends. Eventually we were seeing each other anytime I had two hours to spare. This is the story of how I fell in love with Netflix. Keep reading »
I feel like I’ve been writing about weddings a lot, but I guess it’s just that time of year. I had my first experience buying bachelorette accessories for a lesbian wedding this month, as the first one I attended was my own, so I didn’t buy anything for myself. But for my best friend, I had to find the funniest stuff I could. This would have been easy if she were into penises, as they are all over the bachelorette schwag that sex stores sell. Keep reading »
Ever since he seemed to string ex-gf Jessica Simpson along, I’ve thought Dallas Cowboys player Tony Romo was kind of a schmoe. But now that’s all water under the bridge, and he’s happily married to Candice Crawford. I guess there are a handful of people out there (in Texas, most likely) who are really intrigued by his relationship with his now-wife, because he recently spilled to local Dallas news about the proposal. He admitted he was “a little nervous,” but then, “You see her start to cry, and you know you made a great decision.”
Hmmm. Let me get this straight: He thinks the fact that she bawled when he said, “Will you marry me?” means he was wise to propose? Huh?? I don’t see how the two add up.
Don’t get me wrong — I have nothing against women who end up crying when their guy (or gal) gets down on one knee. Read more… Keep reading »