Tag Archives: getting married

Dear Wendy: “My Fiancé Won’t Get Rid Of His Old Wedding Pictures!”

Yikes!
"I found nude photos of his ex -- and showed them to her." Read More »
His Take
"Should I remain friends with my ex?" Read More »

My fiancé and I have been together for three years and we’re getting married this June. His first marriage, which was a disaster and only lasted six months, ended six years ago. They were together on-and-off for a total of seven years, and I have heard absolute horror stories (from his family, close friends, even the girl’s best friend) about her — drugs, cheating, etc.

My problem is that I found a decent amount of their wedding pictures in a storage box in one of our closets, which shocked and hurt me. When I told him this, he said he would trash them, but he never did (in his “defense,” he’s a pat rack and has a hard time throwing anything out). So when a couple girlfriends came over not too long ago to get boozy while he was out, we totally went through the pictures and I ripped up a few of them while they egged me on. I thought I would be super pissed when looking at them, but he literally didn’t have a smile on his face in a single picture. They were horrible and forced looking (he’s told me the wedding was bad). Keep reading »

The Bold Single Bride Who Married Herself

Single & Lovin' It!
30 things we love about being solo. Read More »

What would you do if you wound up single on what was to be one of the most special days of your life—your wedding day? My friend Desiree did something remarkable and revolutionary: instead of hiding away, she marched boldly into a proud new future, and in the process became an inspiration to me and, hopefully, some of you as well.

On a recent Sunday, when I would have been attending her wedding to a man, I stood on Bow Bridge in Central Park and witnessed Desiree get married—to herself. A circle of her friends surrounded her while her cousin officiated, reciting vows she had written for herself, which included the lines, “I will make my happiness a priority and forgive myself when I’m not perfect. I will trust myself and stand within the power of my own strength. I will love myself forever more, through good and bad, thick and thin, and for exactly who I am today. I promise I will never, ever, ever, settle for less than what my heart and soul desire.”

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Dear Wendy: “My Friend Predicts I’ll Be Divorced In Five Years”

I am newly engaged to a fantastic guy (yay!). We’ve been together for a little over two years and living together (against the wishes of my parents and a few of my friends, who happen to be very conservative Christians). Last week, a very close friend of mine raised concerns that I am getting married without “thinking it through.” She said she’s not sure what a “good friend” is supposed to do: stand there, smile, and pretend to be excited for me, or openly tell me about her concerns for my future. While I agree that a true friend will (and should) say things to you that a fair-weather friend wouldn’t, her comments hit me like a Mack truck; I was completely blindsided. She then said, and I quote, “I don’t know that I’ll be able to stand beside you five years from now when you’re getting a divorce.”

Here’s the kicker: the friend is getting married later this year and I am a bridesmaid. For that matter, I was going to ask her to be in my wedding! I know I can’t just ignore her or pretend the conversation didn’t happen, but I have no idea how to respond to her. I feel that it is in no way appropriate for anyone — friend or otherwise — to talk to someone like that. I could understand her concerns if I were with someone who is abusive, a cheater, a compulsive liar, gambler, or any number of messed-up things people to do sabotage themselves and those around them, but my fiancé is an incredible person: intelligent, funny, hardworking, treats me like gold, and even our families get along great. I just don’t know where a person gets off saying these things to a friend, and especially have no idea how she expected me to respond.— Befuddled Bride

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Guy Talk: Learning To Be A Husband, Not A Son

Not so long ago, my wife and I were talking to a recently-divorced friend of ours. She’s younger than we are, in her early thirties, and as far as she’s concerned, she’s never tying the knot again. Not because of an objection to the institution, but because she’s convinced that most men marry for one reason: they want to be taken care of emotionally.

“I got tired of thinking about someone else’s needs all the time,” our friend said. “I’m prepared to take care of a baby. But I don’t want my first-born to be my second child.” When she heard that, my wife turned to me and gave me a grin. She knows my history.

In three previous marriages and a handful of other long-term relationships (I haven’t been single for long since I was 16), I found myself—like so many men—taking on the parts of the “naughty boy” and the “helpless child.” Time and again, I turned wives and girlfriends into mother-figures, and the result was inevitably disastrous. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Netflix Queue, My Future

I never thought it would get this serious. First it was an after-work thing. Then it was weekends. Eventually we were seeing each other anytime I had two hours to spare. This is the story of how I fell in love with Netflix. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Am I Turning Into A Bridezilla?”

I’m getting married in August and have been planning the wedding for over a year, so the date has been set for a while now. My brother — my only sibling — got engaged last weekend. I love him and his fiancée, but I was very upset when I found out today that they are planning to get married a mere six weeks before I do. Why couldn’t they get married in May or November, so that there is more turn-around time? What if all of my out-of-state family comes to his wedding and then can’t make it to mine? I invited them first! My mom is on the sickly side and is already stressed about one child getting married, so now I’m worried about her having to deal with two weddings back-to-back.

I’m worried that if I confront my brother and fiancée, it will turn into a sibling grudge match with lots of old dynamics rearing their ugly heads. I already asked my parents to mention how stressful it will be for them. Is that fair? Should I just suck it up and silently resent them so that twenty years from now when we are fighting over who gets mom’s heirlooms I end up screaming, “I get them since you practically ruined my wedding!” — Trying Not To Be A Bridezilla

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