Tag Archives: getting married

Dear Wendy: “Our Wedding’s In 2 Weeks, But My Fiancé Is Still Thinking About His Ex”

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I’m getting married to an amazing guy in two weeks. We’ve been together for about 2 1/2 years, and we’ve been long distance for about a year now. We only manage to see each other every few months for about two weeks as we live in separate countries but we’ve been handling the distance remarkably well. I am completely and overwhelmingly in love with this guy. But here’s what happened: I went on his Facebook (I randomly sign on when I’m exceptionally bored, which he knows I do) the morning after his his bachelor party and I saw that while he was pretty drunk (he was texting me around the same time, so I know) he sent a message to his ex-girlfriend of four years, giving her his number and telling her to call him anytime. Now, this is a girl that he was very much in love with, and it took him a really long time to get over her … at least, I thought he was over her. Keep reading »

Just How Popular Are Colored Wedding Dresses?

Celeb Brides In Vera Wang
Kim Kardashian in Vera Wang
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Little girls don’t grow up fantasizing about getting married in dresses that aren’t white. But designers sure want them to, judging by the latest round of bridal fashion shows that recently concluded in New York and boasted more colored wedding dresses than ever. Non-white bridal gowns have been shown on the runways every season for years, but it’s always hard to tell if these dresses actually have any traction in the market or if they’re just a wedding dress designer’s way of evading having to show another white dress. (I’ve always wondered if all the bridal industry’s names for white — eggshell, ivory, cream, silk white — were merely a reaction to white fatigue.) Keep reading »

Hitched: What’s In A Name?

Last month, my boyfriend Patrick and I drank a bottle of Jim Beam at the lake and decided to get married. When we peeled our faces off a sticky, half-deflated air mattress the next morning, we asked ourselves two questions: first, did we still want to get married, and second, how about some Taco Bell? Yes to both, thank you.

Eventually the time came for parental phone calls, and mine were excited and curious: where would our wedding be? When? Several minutes into the call, I heard my mom muse, almost absent-mindedly, “Andrea Hislastname ….” She didn’t ask if I would be changing my last name; she simply said what she believed my new name would be, just to see how it rolled off her tongue.

Patrick’s family did ask about changing my name, at least. And I told them: no, I’m not changing my name. For that matter, neither is Patrick. Of course, most folks would never think to ask if a guy might change his name upon marriage. It’s just not done in this country — and once I learned why, I became more sure than ever that I would never be anyone but Andrea Grimes. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Fiancé Won’t Get Rid Of His Old Wedding Pictures!”

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His Take
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My fiancé and I have been together for three years and we’re getting married this June. His first marriage, which was a disaster and only lasted six months, ended six years ago. They were together on-and-off for a total of seven years, and I have heard absolute horror stories (from his family, close friends, even the girl’s best friend) about her — drugs, cheating, etc.

My problem is that I found a decent amount of their wedding pictures in a storage box in one of our closets, which shocked and hurt me. When I told him this, he said he would trash them, but he never did (in his “defense,” he’s a pat rack and has a hard time throwing anything out). So when a couple girlfriends came over not too long ago to get boozy while he was out, we totally went through the pictures and I ripped up a few of them while they egged me on. I thought I would be super pissed when looking at them, but he literally didn’t have a smile on his face in a single picture. They were horrible and forced looking (he’s told me the wedding was bad). Keep reading »

The Bold Single Bride Who Married Herself

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What would you do if you wound up single on what was to be one of the most special days of your life—your wedding day? My friend Desiree did something remarkable and revolutionary: instead of hiding away, she marched boldly into a proud new future, and in the process became an inspiration to me and, hopefully, some of you as well.

On a recent Sunday, when I would have been attending her wedding to a man, I stood on Bow Bridge in Central Park and witnessed Desiree get married—to herself. A circle of her friends surrounded her while her cousin officiated, reciting vows she had written for herself, which included the lines, “I will make my happiness a priority and forgive myself when I’m not perfect. I will trust myself and stand within the power of my own strength. I will love myself forever more, through good and bad, thick and thin, and for exactly who I am today. I promise I will never, ever, ever, settle for less than what my heart and soul desire.”

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Dear Wendy: “My Friend Predicts I’ll Be Divorced In Five Years”

I am newly engaged to a fantastic guy (yay!). We’ve been together for a little over two years and living together (against the wishes of my parents and a few of my friends, who happen to be very conservative Christians). Last week, a very close friend of mine raised concerns that I am getting married without “thinking it through.” She said she’s not sure what a “good friend” is supposed to do: stand there, smile, and pretend to be excited for me, or openly tell me about her concerns for my future. While I agree that a true friend will (and should) say things to you that a fair-weather friend wouldn’t, her comments hit me like a Mack truck; I was completely blindsided. She then said, and I quote, “I don’t know that I’ll be able to stand beside you five years from now when you’re getting a divorce.”

Here’s the kicker: the friend is getting married later this year and I am a bridesmaid. For that matter, I was going to ask her to be in my wedding! I know I can’t just ignore her or pretend the conversation didn’t happen, but I have no idea how to respond to her. I feel that it is in no way appropriate for anyone — friend or otherwise — to talk to someone like that. I could understand her concerns if I were with someone who is abusive, a cheater, a compulsive liar, gambler, or any number of messed-up things people to do sabotage themselves and those around them, but my fiancé is an incredible person: intelligent, funny, hardworking, treats me like gold, and even our families get along great. I just don’t know where a person gets off saying these things to a friend, and especially have no idea how she expected me to respond.— Befuddled Bride

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