I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 28 and we’ve been dating for a little over seven months. We both want the same things in life — marriage, kids, close ties to family on both sides, prosperous careers and a house in the ‘burbs. Things have been terrific, the best relationship either of us has been in, we love each other very much and recently moved in together. The thing is, my girlfriend has made it clear that if we marry, she feels like she would be losing a part of herself if she took my last name. It’s very important to me that a family unit share the same last name, though. I’m not a hard line traditionalist and certainly not a macho, domineering type — but I feel like something would be missing, or like I would not be totally and completely loved if my wife rejected that part of me. Likewise, hyphenated names do not sit well with me. We’ve discussed this and I’ve made it clear I will not marry or start a family with someone who will not accept my last name (which, by the way, isn’t something odd or off-putting like, say, “Latrine”). I did not deliver this to her as an ultimatum, rather, as part of a well-mannered conversation in which I also made it clear I would stay with her forever without marriage. I worry, though, that this difference has set an expiration date for our relationship. Am I being unreasonable? — Name Withheld
Tag Archives: getting married
While there’s certainly no “right” age to get married, I am going to go out on a limb and say that there is one wrong one—when you are 17. True Stevenson, Kirstie Alley‘s son, is not out of high school yet and he is engaged to his girlfriend. Even stranger, Kirstie is excited about this. “I feel good because they’re really in love,” she told Ellen DeGeneres yesterday. “True’s very … he’s got a level head. He’s a good guy. He’s very monogamous, and he’s very sweet with her.”
Yes, True seems pretty awesome on A&E’s “Kirstie Alley’s Big Life.” He regularly sports an AC/DC shirt and busts out great lines like, “They don’t rag on Rosie O’Donnell like they do on you and she’s way more of a b***h.” But he is hardly ready to walk down the aisle. Keep reading »
Things that make us sad/angry: the Vanilla Gorilla, animal abuse, “The Price of Beauty,” American tourist shorts/huge white sneakers combos, “Bridget Jones Fear.” What, you may ask, does the latter refer to? Over in Jolly Old, a new marriage survey found that women feel the ideal age to get married is 26, as opposed to a decade ago, when they cited their 30s as being the ideal time. What could this sea change be attributed to? The Daily Mail seems to chalk it up to “a fear of turning into Bridget Jones.” Keep reading »
So, today is a big day in my household. It’s my husband’s 40th birthday! He took the day off from work and is relaxing around the apartment while I do some Frisky writing, but I plan to take him out for lunch a little later and then this evening we’re having dinner with his fam-damily. About a year ago I started thinking about what I could do to make this milestone birthday a special one for Drew. I mean, this is a big one, so it’s not like I could just give him a beej and call it a day. No, a 40th birthday calls for a little extra, and since I wasn’t about to sign up for a threesome, like this women did for her husband’s 40th, I had to think of something else. Keep reading »
The ink was barely dry on our marriage certificate when my husband and I found out we were going to be parents — actually, I found out the good news the first day back from our honeymoon.
Sure, some of the signs and symptoms of pregnancy were already there, but I honestly chalked everything up to pre-wedding stress. It was only when I finally had a chance to slow down in South Beach that I realized something didn’t feel right.
When my new husband leaned in for a kiss one night, with whiskey and Vidalia onion chips breath, I was disgusted: “I swear, if you don’t get away from me with that breath right now I’m going to barf on your face,” is what I told him. And, to be clear, I usually love whiskey. That’s when I realized something was up. Read more … Keep reading »
I am currently 23 years old and have been with my husband since I was 16 (married for three years; dated for four years before that). I love my husband very much, but I’ve recently been realizing how much I have missed out on, having met him before I was even a senior in high school. He’s four years older than me so he had a little more time to do things, but I’ve never lived on my own, never had a one-night stand, and never had the chance to grow into myself without having him there. When we first got married, I thought I was OK with that. But now, we’re getting to the point where we’re thinking of doing the “big stuff” (buying a house, having children) and I’m realizing that, wow, I really won’t be able to do any of these things. I find myself resenting my husband for taking my youth away from me. I was thinking that maybe a short term separation could be helpful. Let me live on my own and do stupid things for a few months just so I can say I have. I’m not looking to be unfaithful. I’m just unhappy. Do you think a couple could survive that? How do I even bring something like that up? I’m afraid if I don’t do something now, then I will when we’re older and have more responsibilities. — Young and Troubled
Sad face, you guys. It seems like only this morning that Susannah told you our wonderful news –that she and I are in love and engaged to be married. Or we were — but Jesse James strikes again. This afternoon, while sipping chai lattes and holding hands at the Starbucks around the corner, Suze and I got into a little debate. It was friendly at first, but then got heated. You see, Susannah, for some reason, thinks Sandra Bullock should forgive Jesse James for being a complete tool, whereas I think she should divorce him without looking back. Y’all, our fight got so bad that they kicked us out of Starbucks! I suddenly realized that I didn’t want to spend eternity with someone who could be SO dead wrong about something so important. Also, there were “sexual issues” which I would rather not discuss at this time, but suffice it to say, Susannah needs, um, therapy. So it’s over. I need time to heal, but I should be fine by 5:30.
Anyway, thanks for celebrating our love, however short-lived it may have been. Don’t worry — Susannah and I are complete professionals. This will not affect either of our work on The Frisky — if anything, it’ll improve things, since she and I won’t need to sneak off to make out in the stairwell anymore. Keep reading »
Hi. I’m really pleased to announce some pretty exciting and, for some, unexpected news. Amelia McDonell-Parry, the lead editor of The Frisky, and I, Susannah Breslin, who regularly contributes to this site in ways myriad, are getting married.
Some of you, readers and coworkers alike, may be surprised by this announcement. Amelia and I have kept things pretty secret — working together and dating has its complications — and if you know our writing, you know that both of us have really struggled with dating and being single. In a way, though, that’s what brought us together. A love of the written word and long work hours threw us together, so to speak, one thing led to another, and I won’t bore you with the details, but, to put it simply, we’re in love. And getting married. Not tomorrow. Not soon. But eventually. That’s our plan for a life spent together. Granted, that’ll be a little complicated in a day and age when being the same sex makes marrying one another practically illegal, but it’s important to us that we make a public commitment that symbolizes how we feel about each other.
So! We’re not registered yet, but we’ll let you know when we are. We’re not going to get totally overshare-y with you, we promise, but I know Amelia’s already working on a Girl Talk about us and how we came to be. We hope you’ll follow us on our trip to the altar. Amelia may be wearing the dress, but I think I’ll be the luckiest girl in the room. [Love you, A!] Keep reading »
Newlyweds Christina Hendricks and her husband of five months, Geoffrey Arend, talked to People magazine recently about marriage and their new life together. Among a few cutesy things the couple said, Arend admitted that: “Having the ring on my finger it makes me realize this is the person I’ve chosen for the rest of my life. So everything that was a small little problem that could have turned into a fight, just sort of disappeared. We’re both very happy.” Like Arend and Hendricks, I’m a newlywed, too, and still in that stage where, when I run into people I haven’t seen in a while, they ask me: “How’s married life?” I usually just smile and say, “It’s good.” I hadn’t thought to describe it the way Arend does — that little problems have disappeared — and I don’t even know that that’s true for us, but there is a … difference. And it’s a difference I’ve heard a lot of other newly married couples struggle to articulate. Even in this era of shacking up before marriage, when it doesn’t seem like a piece of paper could change things that much, there’s a very discernible difference, noticeable almost immediately. At least, it seems to be the case for most couples, and certainly for my husband and me. Have you felt it, too? How would you describe the difference? Keep reading »