In exactly 11 days, something very exciting is happening in my life and relationship: My husband and I are finally moving out of his bachelor pad and into a new apartment. When I moved in nearly three years ago, I never expected to stay here this long. In fact, when I initially moved to New York from Chicago, I only meant to stay in Drew’s apartment long enough to find a job and a place of my own. Things changed, though, and Drew and I quickly realized we really enjoyed living together. So I stayed. Even after I finally found work and could afford to get my own place, it seemed dumb for us to live apart when what we wanted was to be together. And for awhile it made sense to stay in Drew’s bachelor pad here in Manhattan. Even though he’d lived here for 13 years already — since he was 24 — the apartment was a great space in a convenient location (especially for someone brand-new to the city), with one of those controlled rents you normally only hear about in urban legends. But now it’s time to go. Keep reading »
Well, we’re ankle deep in wedding season, with the real push starting Memorial Day and Vera Wang Chung-ing it straight through Labor Day. And while wedding planning is a Big Deal, it seems that the biggest concern for most wedding parties is the pictures. In fact, the second biggest wedding fear for lots of ladies (between a no-show husband and saying the wrong name) is that the photos will somehow get funked up. Many brides, grooms and mothers of the bride are strict adherents to the saying that, while your marriage may not last forever, the photographs will. But while a wedding is huge, the days, weeks and decades after, it can be argued, are far more important.
My point being that the whole operation seems to be a contrived photo op. Keep reading »
I was sitting around talking with some single ladies the other night. The topic du jour was the very popular “What are we looking for in a relationship?” I listened to variations on a theme: “someone to spend the rest of my life with,” “a partner, lover, and best friend forever.” I took it in. I even nodded my head and shared their vision to an extent, but the pragmatist in me started to think that forever and ever with one person sounded a little bit naïve. Does anybody really know what forever with a person looks like until they’ve done it? Following that logic, how can I really speculate what I want with a person forever and ever? Especially one I haven’t even met? Maybe there’s a reason why so many relationships don’t survive because of infidelity and maybe that reason is simpler than we think. Maybe monogamy isn’t really working for many of us. Keep reading »
Wendy is off today, so I’m reposting an oldie but a goodie from her Dear Wendy column. She’ll be back at it tomorrow!
I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months. We get along great and he would do anything for me. We just have one problem. He doesn’t believe in evolution and I very passionately do. We got in a discussion about it which quickly turned into a huge fight. Although my current career has taken me down a different path, I have my masters degree in biology concentrated in ecology and evolution so I know a little something about it and pretty much dedicated my entire education to learning about it. He is an engineer and very smart, but I just found out that he used to be really religious, hence his disbelief in evolution. I tried to answer his many misconceptions about evolution as best I could without being prepared for such a heavy debate, but he persisted in refusing to listen to the evidence I presented and even compared me to a religious zealot who has been brainwashed by my schooling. I know that when I feel passionately about something I can get quite worked up and come across as condescending. I understand that a lot of couples have different beliefs and make it work so I know that we can too. However, I don’t want us to have restrictions on what we can or can’t discuss in a rational manner. So I guess what I am asking is how do I broach this topic in a manner that doesn’t turn into a huge argument? Should I just accept that we may never agree on the topic and try to get over it? — The “Mad” Scientist
Keep reading »
Many couples feel that marriage is not necessary for happiness and long-term commitment. Fifteen women give us their ideas about what marriage means and why they don’t need it to be happy in their relationships. Keep reading »
Here’s a story that will warm your heart just a little. Shane Bauer and Sarah Shourd have been imprisoned in Iran for 10 months because they strayed illegally into Iranian territory while hiking. But their love has continued to grow while they’re living this prison nightmare — so much so that they became engaged. Bauer proposed to Shourd using a ring he made from his shirt threads in the yard of the prison on Jan. 6, according to their mothers who recently visited them. And even though it’s impossible to know when the wedding will take place, their unbreakable bond is what’s keeping Shourd going, says her mother. A third hiker, Josh Fattal, will serve as best man.
Let’s hope their married years pleasantly outweigh their time in prison. [People] Keep reading »
It’s sort of crazy to admit, but long before I got married — even before I met my now-husband — I had a real fear of having a wedding. It wasn’t so much getting married that scared me, but simply all the preparation and planning that I knew would go into throwing a wedding. With family and friends spread around the globe, I worried how I’d get people in one place. I fretted that loved ones would feel obligated to come even if they didn’t have the time or money to travel. I worried about my aging grandparents and whether they’d feel terribly left out if they weren’t well enough to attend. I was concerned about the cost, of course. And I worried about certain friends and family members who might be recently divorced or broken up and find it sad to attend a wedding. And remember, I had all these concerns before I even met my now-husband! When we finally did meet and started seriously talking marriage, I had a brand-new worry: wedding gifts! Would people feel obligated to get us something? Would we get a bunch of stuff we didn’t want or need? Where in the world would we put everything in our small one-bedroom Manhattan apartment? And finally, should we register for gifts? Is that tacky? Would we look, gasp, greedy? Keep reading »
If you live in Shelbyville, Illinois, and are getting married in the near future, I suggest that you call minister Darrell Best and have him marry you on his wedding truck. This truck is a 1940s firetruck that’s been painted white and topped with a tiny chapel, complete with an organ. “Typically, we drive to a couple’s favorite spot and hold the service there,” explains Best. “We stand on the back of the truck, and the congregation stands all around, down beneath.” So far, 30 couples have gotten married on his truck, and he says it’s extra popular with motor enthusiasts and bikers. But all the couples have stopped the truck, rather than getting married on the road per se, which I guess is good ’cause I’d hate to see what wedding road rage looks like. “It could be done going down a road—but it hasn’t happened yet,” says Best. “If somebody did want to get married driving down historic Route 66 at mile-marker 100, we could do that.” Perhaps you could be the first? [AOL News] Keep reading »
Wedding season is upon us and if you’re one of the many harried, stressed-out brides-(or grooms)-to-be, one of the things on your long to-do list may be finding the perfect wedding favor for your guests. Favors often end up being cutesy objects that are typically discarded as soon as the wedding’s over (after all, how many of your friends need something with your name and wedding date emblazoned on it?), but of course they don’t have to be. When I got married last July in Central Park, we thought it would be super hot, so we bought these simple and colorful paper folding fans near Chinatown for our guests for about $.75 each (you can read my whole post on throwing a budget wedding here), and skipped any inscription in case our guests ever wanted to use the fans in the future. Keep reading »