If you are currently in the process of planning an elaborate and public marriage proposal to your intended, please consider not doing that, not doing that even for a minute, and instead consider just stopping everything you had planned and not ever doing that, and even if you still want to do it a little bit, I beg you, don’t ever do it.
Elaborate public marriage proposals are rude and awkward. They’re presumptuous in the worst ways. They’re intrusive. They’re manipulative—and not just toward the proposer’s intended. Keep reading »
Patrick and I totally got married because our friends were doing it. We didn’t do it only because our friends were doing it, or because our friends were going to stop sitting next to us in the lunchroom if we didn’t do it. But I’m pleased as punch to say that when it comes to marriage, we had some fine peer-couple role models to look to.
Call it “peer pressure” if you want. We watched happy people around us get happier when they found forever partners and married them. We wanted to emulate them because we believed we had the reasonable tools to be able to do so: love, respect, shared values and life goals. I feel strongly that if I had had a lot of negative marital role models in my life, I’d have been far more circumspect in my approach to marriage. It’s only reasonable to use the information you have to make decisions about what you’d like to do with your life. Keep reading »
“So, should I be calling you something different now?”
The bartender at my local bar walked hurriedly over to my table last week as I sat with my 5 p.m. Hefeweizen, wrapping up the day’s work on my laptop. He looked genuinely worried that, when I’d walked into the bar, he’d somehow offended me by calling me what most of my favorite bartenders over the years have ended up calling me, which is: “Mizz Grimes!”
I don’t know why they’ve all tended to pick up “Mizz Grimes,” but they have, and I love it. It makes me feel fancy and Southern, and there’s something about the way Texas bartenders say “Graiihhhhmmmz” as they’re grabbing a Lone Star or a High Life out of the cooler that just sounds right.
It was the first time someone who didn’t know me well, but who did know that I’d gotten married last month, had asked me about changing my name. Keep reading »
There is a big difference between a wedding and a marriage. A marriage is what happens when two adults in a loving relationship pledge to torture each other until they’re old and wrinkly. It’s romantic, especially if you believe in “the one,” which is the idea that there is one special person out there who will put up with your crap. But a wedding is something entirely different. There are millions of women and men who throw lavish, self-indulgent weddings and then wake up the morning after stuck in a marriage. A marriage is about commitment, patience and forgiving that person who steals all the covers for being a flawed human being. A wedding is a funeral that’s not as entertaining. Read more…
Last night, my husband (!) Patrick and I were having Hawaiian martinis at Roy’s Waikoloa Bar & Grill (which is to Hawaii the way Chili’s is to Texas) when he asked me, Was it all worth it? Was all the stress and the arguing and the pressure worth it, to have a wedding instead of sneaking down to the courthouse or eloping to Las Vegas?
I had my answer ready, because I’d been thinking on it since we drove back to our hotel in a pick-up truck covered in dicks on Saturday night. My answer was: yes. All of the bullshit and the pressure and the stress was completely worth the experience of being married in front of all of our closest family and friends. Keep reading »
This morning, we told you that actress Carey Mulligan (“An Education,” “Shame”) married Marcus Mumford, of the band Mumford & Sons, in a super-secret ceremony this past weekend. The twosome had only been dating for about five months when they got engaged — not that they ever officially confirmed their plans to wed. (Something else I didn’t know until today — the two were childhood pen pals! Is that not the cutest?) So it’s no surprise that their wedding, held in a barn on a working farm (would you expect anything else from one of the Mumford boys, I mean really?), was kept completely hush-hush. We assume that’s why we weren’t invited anyway. [Huffington Post]
Carey isn’t the only celeb who’s gotten hitched in secret. We’ve rounded up a slew of other hush-hush celebrity marriages to which we also weren’t invited.