According to a new report by the University of Virginia, couples who have larger, more formal weddings are more likely to have quality marriages. This is pretty hard to believe because in my mind, there are few things more stressful or challenging to a relationship than planning a big wedding. The study, which is part of UVA’s National Marriage Project, surveyed 418 people about their histories and the current quality of their marriage. Marriage quality was determined through questions about factors like happiness in the relationship, thoughts about divorce, how often the couple confides in one another. Researchers found that only 30 percent of couples who had less than 50 guests at their ceremony had a highly successful marriage. On the other hand, 47 percent of couples who had over 150 guests had highly solid marriages, which is still hardly an awesome success rate. Keep reading »
When I find out a friend or acquaintance is getting married, I’m happy for them, but I definitely don’t sit around waiting for my invitation to the wedding to arrive. I enjoy weddings, but the only ones I actually want to attend are the ones being held by people who I really love and know well — I certainly don’t care, nor am I offended when someone who is part of my peripheral circle or just a random Facebook friend doesn’t invite me to theirs. Which is why it is absolutely absurd to me that a bride would deem it necessary to publicly inform and explain why you might not be receiving an invitation to her upcoming nuptials, especially in the form of a Facebook post. But that’s exactly what one self-absorbed bride did! Via Reddit comes the following FB post (typos are her own):
We are sending out invites for the wedding this week. Going through the list of people to invite. We only have so much room at the church and reception. I’m going to try and make this as simple as possible so no one gets butt hurt. If you do not get an invite here is a list of potential reasons why. Keep reading »
Last week, the Boston Globe ever-so-helpfully advised millennials (because god knows, everyone’s got great advice for us, like “Take out private loans to fund your education” and “Stop whining and get a job”) that we’ll regret it if we don’t marry in a “timely” fashion. Cue eye roll.
Tom Keane’s article says that fewer millennials will get married before 40 than in any previous generation, and frets over the possibility that we won’t get married at all. The only really viable argument he makes pro-marriage is that it comes with legal and tax benefits. Other than that, he confuses causation and correlation, calling marriage a “shield against poverty,” as if the reason people are poor is that they’re not married, and it’s not rather that they’re not married because of the plethora of circumstances of being poor. Keep reading »
Being the youngest in a large family has its advantages: My siblings provided plenty of grandchildren already, so there’s no pressure on me to make more. (Christmas presents are expensive, y’all.) My family has also known since I was 19 — when I fainted while watching my older sister have a sonogram because it grossed me out so much — that I’m not sure this childbirth thing is for me. So, even after being married for 10 months now, no one in my family has broached the subject of bringing a Bogdanovs-Wakeman into the world.
That being said, minding-one’s-own-beeswax doesn’t hold true with outsiders — as I found out this weekend when a trip to the laundromat turned into more than I’d bargained for. Keep reading »
Growing up, my parents were able to provide a stable middle-class upbringing for me, my three sisters and my brother. I can understand now how fortunate we were not to worry about hunger, housing, or medical bills. Although my Mom made a point to show us how privileged we were — I’m from Fairfield County, Connecticut, where the “wealth gap” between rich and poor is top in the nation — I lived securely inside a wealthy suburban bubble in the booming ’90s. As I graduated from high school, went to college and began my working life, I still managed to have financial security, even when the economy tanked in 2008. Some friends, recent college graduates like myself, lost their jobs or just plain could not get hired. But me, I still got to stay inside a safe little bubble.
Then I did something that probably didn’t make sense to some people, especially those from the background that I come from: I married someone who was unemployed. Keep reading »