Getting married is a series of capitulations. I got married three weeks ago (and I swear to God I will write about other topics soon, really), so I know this for a fact. Thinking that you can have wedding that is 100 percent a reflection of all of your values all of the time — to say nothing of your partner’s values — is naive. Weddings involve capitulations to your family and his/hers. Weddings involve capitulations to your bridal party and/or friends. Weddings involve capitulations to societal tradition, family tradition or religious tradition. For plenty of people, weddings are a capitulation to our consumer-driven, “keeping up with the Joneses” (or in this case, “the David Tuteras”) society. Like anything else in life, you will negotiate some of your values that previously were very strongly held. The difference is that with a wedding, your values take an outsized importance because it feels like you’re supposed to take a stand — possibly the biggest stand you’ll ever take in your life, even. Keep reading »
“It was so amazing to be proposed to on live TV! … I had no idea the “interview” was actually a planned, surprise on-air proposal, hence my shock. The element of surprise did prevail and it was the happiest moment ever! I really could not have asked for anything more. … I am unhappy about the recent backlash that was received from my on-air engagement to Chirag [Shah]. He does not deserve to be labeled self-centered on feminist websites like Jezebel critiquing the entire experience when he is the most thoughtful person I know. I am moved by the beautiful proposal he arranged out of a genuine intention to make me happy. All of my close friends and family members cried when they saw it because of how sweet it was. My time on the show was never supposed to be about my work as it was about a proposal Chirag wanted to surprise me with on our four-year anniversary. … It was disappointing for people to apply their own lens and cultural biases to interpret that I was pissed off and upset about not getting to speak about my work.”
Last week, the Internet cringed when a woman named Simone Jhingoor appeared on “The Today Show” and began to speak about her non-profit Women’s Housing and Economic Development Corporation … only to be awkwardly interrupted by her boyfriend, Chirag Shah, who proceeded to tell her she wasn’t on the show to talk about her job, she was there because he wanted to propose! As Jhingoor clenched uncomfortably, looking irritated, her boyfriend literally grabbed the microphone from Al Roker and asked her to marry him on live TV. It’s not that the intended sentiment wasn’t sweet; it was that the execution means when you search “awkward marriage proposal,” theirs comes up on the first page of Google.
Shah immediately got bopped for duping his now-fiancee into thinking she’d be speaking about a very worthy cause, as well as proposing on live television to someone who so clearly seemed uncomfortable with it. But here’s Jhingoor in an interview with YourTango, insisting — methinks a bit too much — that she was thrilled, thrilled about her on-air engagement! Um, not sure we believe you, but okay. I’m not quite sure why she is now saying “my time on the show was never supposed to be about my work,” because it clearly wasn’t — she just thought it was. But whatever, maybe this whole awkward affair actually ended up drawing more attention to her nonprofit in the long run! [YourTango]
I didn’t expect a can-usually-be-counted-on-for-fluff article about marriage in the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times to be so damn depressing. But I suppose that’s a conclusion to be expected when one starts wondering, what’s the point of it all? Keep reading »
One of the exaggerations/white lies I’ve been known to tell more than a few times is that I basically discovered comedian Aziz Ansari, aka Tom Haverford on “Parks and Recreation.” See, back in, like, 2005, I was working at Maxim magazine and one of the pages I edited was the Jokes page. Each issue we spotlighted an up-and-coming comedian and one month, I picked Aziz. I think it was the first bit of big press he got, but I might be making that up, and then after that, it was all dollah dollah bills for Aziz. Anyway, Aziz’s latest project is a Netflix standup comedy special called “Buried Alive,” in which Aziz focuses his funny on issues related to dating and marriage. Above, Aziz, in his typically LOUD FASHION, tackles the absurdity of marriage itself. “Buried Alive” will be available on Netflix on November 1. [via Feministing]
What is it with viral proposals? Every day there’s another one splashed across my Facebook feed – a flashmob proposal, a concert proposal, a fake airplane crash proposal, a proposal where a guy serenades a woman with Bruno Mars’ “Marry You,” a proposal on “Ellen,” a proposal outside the “Today” show studio. King narcissist Kanye West recently proposed to queen narcissist Kim Kardashian on an intimate Jumbotron, surrounded by friends, family — and adoring fans.
It almost seems like it’s a game now the way that people try to one-up each other when crafting elaborate proposals. And the point of the game is look like THE MOST ROMANTIC PERSON EVER. Keep reading »
A public marriage proposal may have worked out well for Kanye West and Kim Kardashian, but it’s a stunt that should always be approached with caution. Timing and location are everything as is being at least mostly confident that the person you’re asking is going to respond positively. I’m pretty sure that Chirag Shah failed to run through the “Should I Propose In Public?” checklist before he seized control of his girlfriend Simone Jhingoor’s “Today Show” segment — which was supposed to be about her nonprofit, the Women’s Housing and Economic Development Corporation – and used the airtime to ask her to marry him. The look on Simone’s face and the awkward distance between the newly engaged couple seemed to indicate that despite saying “yes” to his proposal, Simone was not especially psyched that she had rehearsed and prepared for a segment about her nonprofit work had been derailed by her now-fiance’s kind of selfish desire to be splashy and romantic. I hope “The Today Show” has her back tomorrow to discuss her work, as was originally intended. [Jezebel]
Say you’re an offbeat couple who wants to make sure your engagement photos have a unique twist. You could wear funny hats, or you could document, in graphic detail, getting brutally murdered by Jason from “Friday the 13th.” This Toronto couple went with the latter. Their engagement photos begin innocently enough, with the couple frolicking in various nature settings, but wait, what does that sign say? Camp Crystal Lake? And is that a masked man with a machete grabbing the groom-to-be?! Uh-oh. See the entire set of photos over at Geekologie. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t end well, although there is a great shot of the engagement ring completely drenched in blood. I just really hope they took some less murder-y photos to send to grandma.
Perhaps I am just a bitter shrew, but this 27-minute proposal video — in which actor/director Justin Baldoni doesn’t ask Emily Foxler to be his wife until the very end — just did not do it for me. It has everything: Candles! Lip-syncing to the Backstreet Boys and Boyz II Men! A flashmob dancing to Bruno Mars! Special appearances by the parents! A visit to a grave site to ask a dead father’s permission to marry his daughter! Tears! SO MANY TEARS! And yet I got bored. Someone call 911 — I must be dead inside. Right? [Gawker]
There’s a lot that I don’t remember from high school. Algebra. Most of the Italian language. But something my high school health teacher said about premarital sex is still embedded in my mind 10 years on.
She said that on our wedding night, when we have sex with our (future) husband or wife, all the other people we’ve slept with would be sleeping alongside us. She meant it figuratively, of course — she was trying to get us to think about promiscuity through the frame of premarital sex being a bad thing. How crowded, she seemed to be asking, did we want our marital bed mattress to be? Keep reading »
I got married on Friday. It is still all so very new that the wedding band on my finger distracts me every five seconds. It feels weird — a blissfully happy weird — to hear the words “my husband” come out of my own mouth.
But it’s never too early, apparently, for people to just go ahead and assume that I took my husband’s last name. Keep reading »