Tag Archives: getting married

Hitched: What Does It Mean To Be A Wife?

I’ve been putting off making the trip to the county clerk’s office to see about getting Patrick and I common-law married. In order for me to be enrolled on his health insurance, Patrick’s employers need some kind of governmentally sanctioned proof that we’re not just total liars. The process in Texas for proving you’re not a total liar is pretty simple: you tell the government that you’re not a total liar, sign a piece of paper, and they believe you. Suddenly, marriage!

This one little trip that I can’t seem to make is probably one of the most important things I could be doing just about now. And yet here I sit in my lacy black silk pajamas (Fancy Lady Obsessed With “Downton Abbey” So She Bought Some Nice Underthings Alert!), drinking coffee and fending off keyboard-fascinated cats instead of achieving the twofer of making my relationship more legitimate in the eyes of the government and ensuring that I have proper health coverage.

Though to be fair, I also buy extra underwear so that I can go a month without hitting the laundromat, so know that I am a world-class procrastinator of some renown. It’s not that I have apprehensions about becoming a wife. 

Right? Keep reading »

11 Reasons Why Weddings Are Dumb

There is a big difference between a wedding and a marriage. A marriage is what happens when two adults in a loving relationship pledge to torture each other until they’re old and wrinkly. It’s romantic, especially if you believe in “the one,” which is the idea that there is one special person out there who will put up with your crap. But a wedding is something entirely different. There are millions of women and men who throw lavish, self-indulgent weddings and then wake up the morning after stuck in a marriage. A marriage is about commitment, patience and forgiving that person who steals all the covers for being a flawed human being. A wedding is a funeral that’s not as entertaining. Read more…

Dear Wendy: “It’s Been Five Years And My Boyfriend Still Won’t Propose!”

The Toothless Groomsman
Advice for a bride who does not want a toothless man in her wedding. Read More »
Dear Wendy...
"My boyfriend thinks his ex is hotter." Read More »
Anti-Online Dating
How can you "make" yourself date online? Read More »

I’m a 27-year-old female, and I’ve been with my 31 year old boyfriend for over five years now. We have made a happy and loving life together, including sharing a home, sharing our finances, being closely involved with each other’s families, and we even have two cats and a puppy together. About a year ago we started talking seriously about getting engaged within the next six months, but by the time fall rolled around, my boyfriend told me that though he loves me and wants nothing more than a future with me, he was just not ready for an engagement yet. He had some issues from his parents’ divorces, and decided to begin counseling to deal with them. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Was Invited To My Ex’s Wedding, But I Don’t Want To Go”

Toxic Friendships
15 toxic friends you need to dump ASAP. Read More »
S**t Guys Say
The shit guys say to women -- that they wouldn't say to each other. Read More »
Dear Wendy...
"My boyfriend is addicted to singles chat sites." Read More »

Adam, a good friend of mine, who also happens to be an ex-boyfriend, has invited me to his upcoming wedding, but I have no desire whatsoever to go. Adam and I dated about five years ago and broke up because I was 19 and not ready for the type of relationship that he was looking for. We remained close friends, and shortly after, he started dating Debbie, his now fiancée. For a while, we all got along fine. Debbie knew Adam and I were friends, but I only saw her a handful of times over the next couple years while I saw Adam on an almost weekly basis. At first, she was never anything but friendly, but after a while, things got ugly: she sent passive aggressive messages on Myspace and wrote nasty blog posts about me, calling me a whore and a drug addict, and accusing me of trying to steal her fiancé, among other hateful things. I was upset, and confronted Adam, but he took her side and we didn’t speak for three years. Keep reading »

Hiring A Wedding Proposal Planner Is A Ridiculous Waste Of Money

I am told by my romantic friends that many (most?) women dream of strapping on the poofy white dress and walking down the aisle in her perfectly executed fairy-tale wedding to the man of her dreams. Some of these friends have planned out their intricate weddings since childhood, just waiting for Mr. Right to come along and sweep them off their feet.

Dream weddings, I hear from my friends with romance in their eyes, are all the rage.

But dream proposals? That’s a new one for me. Read more…

Dear Wendy: “I’m Ostracized For Keeping My Maiden Name”

My husband and I have been married a little under a year and we’re starting to actually feel married. However, in all of the adjustments I’ve made, there’s still one giving me a hard time: telling people that I’ve kept my maiden name. It’s a decision I made long before I met my husband; we discussed it at length before we even got engaged, and now he and our immediate friends and families are completely, 100% comfortable with it. Keep reading »

Hitched: How To Get Married

They're My Eggs
And I'll do what I want with them. Read More »

Put down the self-help books, singletons looking for love. Unsubscribe to Dear Abby. Tell Steve Harvey to slow his roll. I have all the relationship advice you’ll ever need. Go get a pen, and write this down: quit trying.

I don’t mean quit dating, or quit looking for people to spend your life with. I mean that once you bang someone or date them and it feels weird, or they do something that kind of irks you or they’re not treating you how you want to be treated, stop dating that person. If you think communicating with them is more awkward or intimidating than you’d like it to be, or they won’t give you what you reasonably like in bed, or if they make you think you need to look, act or dress differently, stop dating that person.

Stop dating that person immediately and move on to the next person. Keep reading »

5 Ways You Know It’s Time To Get Married

I’ve talked about my often-disastrous relationships in a number of my columns, and every time I do, I get dozens of messages from people asking me to elaborate. Not that I’m an expert — it’s more like how you see a guy come screaming out of the woods covered in bees and you ask him where he found the hive, so you can avoid it.

So, the most common question I get (besides “Will you please stop sending me pictures of your penis?”) is “How do I know if this is the one?” which I think is a stealth way of asking me, “How can I avoid the hellish divorce that haunts your memories?”

Well, if you want to avoid the bees, I say you should always keep in mind … Keep reading »

Solid Relationship Advice: Know That The Grass Ain’t Greener

“Don’t look at other couples and think they have it all together while you and your mate don’t. That’ll just make you feel bad about your relationship and drag you down. Those smiling people who look like they have it all do have it all — including problems. You just have no idea what they are. And don’t look at individuals you’re not with and think you could have a better relationship with them. It’s easy to fantasize that the sexy acquaintance with whom you have a buzzy rapport with would make a hot, fun, trouble-free girlfriend, but she’s just someone whose problems you don’t know yet. Love the one you’re with, and work through the problems you know.”

I am not married (obvs), but I found TIME‘s “How To Get And Stay Married,” written by journalist/novelist Toure, to be wonderfully sane and wise advice for all couples, regardless of their matrimonial status. Check out the other four tips in the piece at the link. [TIME]

Girl Talk: My Best New Year’s Eve Ever Is Yet To Come

Mind Of Man
Mind Of Man
John DeVore thinks resolutions are for suckers. Read More »
Resolutions For Men
We have some suggestions... Read More »
Traditions & Superstitions
The craziest superstitions associated with New Year's! Read More »

If a movie was to be based on my love life, it would be called “New Year’s Eve.” (Or it would be called that if there wasn’t already a movie coming out with that very name and, in fact, sponsoring this very post.) But seriously, if I actually had the patience to sit down and write a screenplay based on the longest, most significant romantic relationship of my adult life, it would be a rom-com and if the name was available, it would be called “New Year’s Eve.” Here’s why. Keep reading »