We still have seven months until our wedding, but I can’t help but wonder about our guests: how they’ll act, what their reactions will be, how they’ll get along. I’ve been to enough weddings to know that there are bound to be certain people who emerge in some pretty standard guest roles, especially when you have representatives from all different aspects of your life in one room. Rather than let ourselves be caught off-guard, my fiancé and I are mentally preparing ourselves for the following people to, um, grace us with their presences. Keep reading »
When we started venue-hunting, we had literally no clue what we were doing. On the outside, we tried to appear to be a sophisticated, knowledgeable couple touring each potential venue. On the inside, we were two clueless twenty-somethings wondering what the hell we were supposed to ask these events directors and catering managers to avoid awkward silences or complete embarrassment. After a few (okay, several) appointments, though, we started to pick up on what kind of information we were supposed to be gathering. To help you avoid the same slow-moving progress, go to each venue meeting armed with this list of crucial questions. Keep reading »
I’m not one of those girls who started planning her wedding before even hitting puberty. I didn’t create a pre-engagement “Someday…” Pinterest board. Nothing against those girls, but it wasn’t for me. I wanted to wait to plan my wedding until it was a real, tangible thing. (Not to mention, my tastes change on such a regular basis that, if I were to go with a wedding I planned 10 years ago, I’d probably cry upon seeing my centerpieces.)
That said, there are a few elements of my wedding that were decided well before the ring was on my finger. One of those things: My dad won’t be the only one to lead me down the aisle; rather both my parents will take that walk with me. When my sister got married in 2008, our parents walked her down the aisle together. It was the first time I had seen or heard of that happening (then again, I never thought about it before her wedding), but it made so much sense. My sister’s was one of the first weddings I had ever been to, and I just kind of figured this whole both-parents-down-the-aisle thing was becoming common. I mean, it was 2008; why stick to the antiquated idea of the father being the one to “give the bride away”? Keep reading »
Hitched, our weekly column about getting married, is back! This time around, we’ll be walking down the aisle (well, in spirit) with writer Emma Sarran, who will be sharing her thoughts on long engagements, the institution of matrimony and that godforsaken wedding industrial complex every Thursday.
I remember my engagement as if it was yesterday. But in reality, it was one year and one month ago. And we’re still not married. And we won’t be for another eight months. We didn’t go into wedding planning wanting a long engagement; it’s just how it happened. We got engaged in late October and started checking out venues in Chicago pretty soon after. By the time we started inquiring, most places were already booked up until November-ish of the following year and, since I hate the cold and have no interest in braving it in a wedding dress, we skipped ahead to July, figuring that would safely be in bearable-temperature-territory. (As I sit here, in November, with fingers almost too frozen to type, I feel confident in that decision.) Now that we’re “only” eight months out from our wedding day, I reflect on some of the pros and cons of a long engagement. Keep reading »
When you marry someone and sponsor him for immigration, you declare loud and clear for the government, your employers, and your loved ones all to hear that you have created a new family. You gain legal rights and spousal privileges. Your credit ratings affect each other. Your taxes change. You send thank you cards that you both sign. Both socially and on paper, you are a new family unit. Look at us — Kale and Jessie!
But that’s on paper. Words on paper don’t represent emotions. Couples who dated and even lived together for a long time probably already feel like they’re a family — and I would agree they are one. I don’t believe a family is “a family” only when it’s recognized by the government; I have friends with strained biological family relations who consider their real families made up of close friends a “family of choice.” The concept of family is really a mindset. So, when in a relationship or a new marriage like ours do you actually start to feel like a family? Keep reading »
The first man I ever fell in love with was eight years older than me. He was on probation for stealing a video game, and his fingertips smelled like cigarettes and shellfish, having spent most evenings washing dishes at a seafood restaurant. At one point, he kept going to work even though his boss had stopped paying him. “Why don’t you start looking for a new job?” I asked.
“Cuz it’s fun just chillin’ with the boys, smoking cigarettes in the back,” he told me.
Jeff wouldn’t find another job for nine months, mostly because his unemployment allowed him to sit in front his PlayStation all afternoon. At age 26, he still lived with his dad, but couldn’t be bothered to sleep in the spare bedroom because all of his crap — a graveyard of sporting equipment he lost interest in and old surf tees — was piled so high, he couldn’t find the bed.
Instead, he slept on a makeshift bed-couch in the living room. It was here, with his father bumbling in to ask, “What’s going on?” that I lost my virginity. Keep reading »