Men, Here Is How to Enjoy Lap Dances Even More Than You Already Do
When you want to take your dance to the next level...
A New Invention
That’s when a group of people got together to create a think tank on how to make a lapdance more pleasurable. They finally created a strap-on sack for your man-parts that allows you to ejaculate in the privacy of your own clothes, no hands or other organs required.
The inventors of the Liquid Lapdance explained their product, “Liquid Lapdance was invented by a group of friends in Las Vegas. The guys love lap dances. Two of the girls are dancers at strip clubs in Las Vegas. The guys were inspired by the challenge of figuring out how to make lap dances feel better. The girls loved the idea of having a product to sell to guys in the club. They really liked the idea that guys wouldn’t be ‘c*mming through their pants’ anymore. Each product iteration has involved guys and girls brainstorming, testing, and refining the product. It’s important to us that the product works for guys and dancers.”
The idea is that you put on this latex sack around your junk with a bit of lube in there. You tie it around your waist, then get completely clothed before heading out to the club. As the woman grinds on your lap and you become physically aroused, your ding-a-ling fills the lube-filled sack and gives you a friction-free experience that feels like a weaker-version of a handjob or a lubed bottom writhing against you.
The creators continued about its usefulness, “Regular clothing is dry, rough, and uncomfortable during lap dances. Guys may experience abrasions, discomfort, and other minor injuries of the p*nis during dry dances. But, the biggest problem with dry dances is they just don’t feel as amazing as they should. The guy pays a bunch of money, the girl does a lot of work, and the result is often a bit, err, anti-climactic.” There’s even a guarantee that you’ll reach a climax.
So what happened when a guy brought it to the gay strip club? It wasn’t quite as spectacular, but he claims that the rules are different anyway. Journalist Mitchell Sunderland said, “Lap dances are never ‘dry’ at gay strip clubs. I have seen strippers rim each other on stage, and every time I have paid for a lap dance, I ended up n*ked in a backroom with a stripper. Why would anyone ejaculate—or want to ejaculate—from a bare-bones lap dance that didn’t even come with a rim job?”
Not For Everyone
Well, Mitchell knew that he had to at least try it, so he suited up and headed out to Adonis Lounge where he picked out a guy to test the product. He wrote, “I started to slide my pants back on. Matthew pushed my hand away, giggled, and started making out with me. He pushed me onto the foam, removed his glasses, and then jumped on me like a bunny rabbit. He ground on me, but the spandex diaper was inhibiting any sort of sensation in my d**k, even as it was pushed firmly against his a*s.
I looked down and noticed Matthew had grown a b**er before me. A stripper had never gotten hard while giving me a lap dance. I felt obligated to jerk Matthew off through his underwear. In return Matthew jerked me off through the diaper.
He gave a good handie, but I’m not in seventh grade—I wanted a lap dance that would stimulate my p*nis like anal s*x—so I told Matthew to turn around to see if the new position would allow me to feel his a*s through the spandex bag.”
Considering that Mitchell could get whatever he wanted from the dancer, he couldn’t receive pleasure from Liquid Lapdance and concluded, “If I learned anything from Liquid Lapdance, it’s that being a straight dude sounds like a giant f**king hassle.” That may be the case, but it seems like those straight guys who are allowed to touch are loving what they can get from the device.
Would you use Liquid Lapdance to better enjoy your services? Let us know what you think about it in the comments and SHARE this story!