Tag Archives: friendship

Girl Talk: How To Dump A Toxic Friend

The Ugly Friend
How one writer stopped thinking of herself as the ugly friend in the group. Read More »
New Year, New You
Everything you need to kick 2012 off right. Read More »
Digital Friendships
Is the computer killing our bonds with friends? Read More »

In high school, one of my best friends was a girl we’ll call Tara. Tara and I had been close since middle school, but as we got older we developed an unhealthy dynamic: Tara demanded so much of my time and energy, and I wasn’t good at putting up boundaries. She had a mean streak, and I was constantly getting hurt. I started to get the feeling it would be better if we went our separate ways, but how do you break up with a friend? There’s no precedent for such things. Ultimately I wrote her a long email telling her that I didn’t think we were good for each other. It was a rough breakup, but when it was over I felt like a whole new woman, and I had learned an important lesson: life is much too short to spend time with people who make you feel crappy. Keep reading »

7 Things We’ve Learned About Friendship Since High School

Love Lessons
7 things we've learned about love since high school. Read More »
Review: "Young Adult"
Our "We See Chick Flicks" review of Cody's new film. Read More »
"Young Adult" Trailer
Charlize Theron in Young Adult photo
Check out the movie trailer! Watch »

In “Young Adult,” Diablo Cody’s new film opening Dec. 16, Charlize Theron plays Mavis, a divorced novelist who returns to her home in small-town Minnesota determined to rekindle a romance with her high school boyfriend. Mavis may have gotten older, but she hasn’t exactly grown up or figured out how to let go of the past.

One reason for Mavis’ issues? She has no one in her life telling her “no.” No one to encourage and inspire her to be her best self, no one whose feelings she is expected to care about. In short, she has no friends at all — until she meets Matt (Patton Oswalt), a guy whose existence she was oblivious to in high school, who now offers her a little tough love and a reality check, just as any real friend would. He hopefully offers the first of many lessons about friendship that Mavis desperately needs to learn. Here are seven things we’ve learned about friendship since high school. If you have a “Mavis” in your life, print this out and pass it along. Keep reading »

10 Signs She Doesn’t See You As More Than A Friend

We’ve all been there — majorly crushing on that chick we’re hanging out with, thinking this might actually go somewhere. And the more time we’re spending together, the more we realize how much we actually like her: how she talks, how she laughs, that she can chill with us like one of the guys.   Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Is My Friend Jealous Of My Career Options?”

The Friend Zone
A guy's view on being in the friend zone. Read More »
Give A Gift?
"Should I give my friend's parents a gift?" Read More »
DearWendy.com
Read a ton more columns at Wendy's website! Read More »

I recently received a job offer from the company I interned with this past summer for next June after I graduate. I’m not sure if I want to accept this offer (because I am still questioning what field I want to work in and whether I’d have the ability to transfer into another position from this one), so I asked some of my close friends for advice. One friend seemed to resent that I wasn’t completely gung-ho about accepting this offer. She was “unemployed” for less than a month after graduating before she accepted a full-time position in her desired field, ans seems to be pushing me to accept this position due to the high unemployment rate and the fact that most people don’t find their “perfect job” upon graduation. She even went so far to say that I should accept the offer and keep looking, which I find ethically immoral. In addition, she got very upset that I didn’t feel blessed for receiving the offer or was somehow spoiled for being able to be choosy in my decision. This is a choice that will impact the next three years of my life, at the very least!

I know she is employed in a position she feels is outside of her desired field and is looking for a new job, but I do not feel that she is being supportive of the way I choose to live my life or empathizing with the decisions that I am trying to make. Was she just venting or jealous of my freedom of choice when it comes to my career prospects, or is there a deeper rift forming in our relationship, Wendy?— Job Hunter Keep reading »

Girl Talk: When Mean Girls Attack

Childhood Frenemies
The crappy friends we once thought were awesome. Read More »
Digital Friendships
Is the computer killing our bonds with friends? Read More »
College Friendships
campus confidential
Friendships at college aren't about having one big clique. Read More »

Mean girls happen. They happen at 9 years old on the playground. At 21 years old in the sorority. They happen in blockbuster Lindsay Lohan movies.

And for me, they happened when I was 27. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Being A Bridesmaid Is Breaking My Budget!”

A friend of mine from high school asked me in December to be one of her bridesmaids in her July wedding. I was surprised she asked me, particularly because while we were close in our teens, she was usually too busy with her now-fiance´ to catch up or respond to me when I was visiting our hometown. We talk occasionally and I know she does not have many female friends and considering how close we once were, I said yes. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Feel Left Out Because I’m In A Relationship

Digital Friendships
Is the computer killing our bonds with friends? Read More »
Childhood Frenemies
The crappy friends we once thought were awesome. Read More »
Pals You Need
The seven types of friends everyone needs. Read More »

Working in an office where about 90 percent of the employees are female makes for a fun environment. Especially since 70 percent of said women are under the age of 30. Our office is not very big, so we’re in each other’s faces a lot, but we get along well, which is not so common. We go out to lunch together, grab drinks after work together and have been known to, on occasion, see a play or musical as a group.

When in need of a break from excel spreadsheets and emails, chairs swivel around and we chat about our weekends, upcoming projects and which pair of boots we just scored off Gilt Groupe. But most of the time, our mid-day chat sessions turn to men and the always entertaining recap of last night’s date. Now, out of our small group, I am the only one currently in a relationship. This fact did not affect our work dynamic or friendship for months. But then I began to notice huddled conversations and plans being made literally around me, and I got a bit confused. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Have Feelings For My Friend’s Crush”

Through one of my close friends I met this guy. We quickly became friends and now hang out with the same group of people. His sense of humor is the same as mine and we also see eye-to-eye on many topics. He’s made it clear that he would be interested in a relationship and I think if we started dating, we would work well together. There’s just one thing stopping me, and that is the friend who introduced us. Not that long ago she mentioned that she’s interested in him and has been for a few years. When I think of the two of them together, I do think they would be a good match as well, BUT I don’t realistically see them getting together. It’s worth mentioning that she knows he’s interested in me, but has no idea of my true feelings for him. I’m having a hard time deciding if I should take the chance with the guy and more than likely damage my friendship with her with no guarantee that the relationship will last, or just forget about him and find someone who none of my friends are into. What do you think? — Feelings for Friend’s Crush

Keep reading »

The 7 Types Of Friend Everyone Needs

Just like a superhero team or jewel thief gang needs each member to specialize in a different skill set, a good circle of friends also needs a wide range of useful skills. While a superhero team might need a guy who is superstrong and a guy who has a lot of gadgets, your friend team might consist of a guy who can get you discounts at the Best Buy and a guy who’s totally cool with feeding your cats when you’re out.

When I suggest assembling such a team, I’m not suggesting you go around preying on emotionally vulnerable people who can do useful things for you and pretend to be their friend. I’m just saying that if you happen to run into some cool people you enjoy hanging out with, who also own a pickup truck, don’t take them for granted.

Sure, you can have friends that are just fun people, or that you are fond of for no logical reason, but that doesn’t mean you don’t also want to have friends such as … Read more… Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Friend Predicts I’ll Be Divorced In Five Years”

I am newly engaged to a fantastic guy (yay!). We’ve been together for a little over two years and living together (against the wishes of my parents and a few of my friends, who happen to be very conservative Christians). Last week, a very close friend of mine raised concerns that I am getting married without “thinking it through.” She said she’s not sure what a “good friend” is supposed to do: stand there, smile, and pretend to be excited for me, or openly tell me about her concerns for my future. While I agree that a true friend will (and should) say things to you that a fair-weather friend wouldn’t, her comments hit me like a Mack truck; I was completely blindsided. She then said, and I quote, “I don’t know that I’ll be able to stand beside you five years from now when you’re getting a divorce.”

Here’s the kicker: the friend is getting married later this year and I am a bridesmaid. For that matter, I was going to ask her to be in my wedding! I know I can’t just ignore her or pretend the conversation didn’t happen, but I have no idea how to respond to her. I feel that it is in no way appropriate for anyone — friend or otherwise — to talk to someone like that. I could understand her concerns if I were with someone who is abusive, a cheater, a compulsive liar, gambler, or any number of messed-up things people to do sabotage themselves and those around them, but my fiancé is an incredible person: intelligent, funny, hardworking, treats me like gold, and even our families get along great. I just don’t know where a person gets off saying these things to a friend, and especially have no idea how she expected me to respond.— Befuddled Bride

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