In high school, one of my best friends was a girl we’ll call Tara. Tara and I had been close since middle school, but as we got older we developed an unhealthy dynamic: Tara demanded so much of my time and energy, and I wasn’t good at putting up boundaries. She had a mean streak, and I was constantly getting hurt. I started to get the feeling it would be better if we went our separate ways, but how do you break up with a friend? There’s no precedent for such things. Ultimately I wrote her a long email telling her that I didn’t think we were good for each other. It was a rough breakup, but when it was over I felt like a whole new woman, and I had learned an important lesson: life is much too short to spend time with people who make you feel crappy. Keep reading »
In “Young Adult,” Diablo Cody’s new film opening Dec. 16, Charlize Theron plays Mavis, a divorced novelist who returns to her home in small-town Minnesota determined to rekindle a romance with her high school boyfriend. Mavis may have gotten older, but she hasn’t exactly grown up or figured out how to let go of the past.
One reason for Mavis’ issues? She has no one in her life telling her “no.” No one to encourage and inspire her to be her best self, no one whose feelings she is expected to care about. In short, she has no friends at all — until she meets Matt (Patton Oswalt), a guy whose existence she was oblivious to in high school, who now offers her a little tough love and a reality check, just as any real friend would. He hopefully offers the first of many lessons about friendship that Mavis desperately needs to learn. Here are seven things we’ve learned about friendship since high school. If you have a “Mavis” in your life, print this out and pass it along. Keep reading »
We’ve all been there — majorly crushing on that chick we’re hanging out with, thinking this might actually go somewhere. And the more time we’re spending together, the more we realize how much we actually like her: how she talks, how she laughs, that she can chill with us like one of the guys. Keep reading »
Mean girls happen. They happen at 9 years old on the playground. At 21 years old in the sorority. They happen in blockbuster Lindsay Lohan movies.
And for me, they happened when I was 27. Keep reading »
Working in an office where about 90 percent of the employees are female makes for a fun environment. Especially since 70 percent of said women are under the age of 30. Our office is not very big, so we’re in each other’s faces a lot, but we get along well, which is not so common. We go out to lunch together, grab drinks after work together and have been known to, on occasion, see a play or musical as a group.
When in need of a break from excel spreadsheets and emails, chairs swivel around and we chat about our weekends, upcoming projects and which pair of boots we just scored off Gilt Groupe. But most of the time, our mid-day chat sessions turn to men and the always entertaining recap of last night’s date. Now, out of our small group, I am the only one currently in a relationship. This fact did not affect our work dynamic or friendship for months. But then I began to notice huddled conversations and plans being made literally around me, and I got a bit confused. Keep reading »
Just like a superhero team or jewel thief gang needs each member to specialize in a different skill set, a good circle of friends also needs a wide range of useful skills. While a superhero team might need a guy who is superstrong and a guy who has a lot of gadgets, your friend team might consist of a guy who can get you discounts at the Best Buy and a guy who’s totally cool with feeding your cats when you’re out.
When I suggest assembling such a team, I’m not suggesting you go around preying on emotionally vulnerable people who can do useful things for you and pretend to be their friend. I’m just saying that if you happen to run into some cool people you enjoy hanging out with, who also own a pickup truck, don’t take them for granted.
Sure, you can have friends that are just fun people, or that you are fond of for no logical reason, but that doesn’t mean you don’t also want to have friends such as … Read more… Keep reading »