A few years ago, I complained to a girl friend about how my then-boyfriend was getting on my nerves. I told her how we would be hanging out in his apartment on the weekend and I would ask for some “alone time” to read or go online. He would say okay, but couldn’t go for more than a few minutes before he would start chattering away to me as I sat on his couch with a book. I would ask him to please let me have some time alone; he would get angry that I, as he put it, “didn’t want him to talk” in his own home. I felt so frustrated that he wasn’t respecting, or perhaps fundamentally understanding, what “alone time” meant and why it was important to me.
“You are an introvert,” my friend told me. “You relax and recharge your batteries being by yourself and withdrawing inside your own head. It sounds like he’s an extrovert. That means relaxing and recharging means being with other people.”
Oh, I thought. No one had ever explained my personality to me quite like that before. I used to believe I had strange, inexplicable over-stimulation issues; I also used to think I was a “loner.” Deep down, though, I knew that word wasn’t correctly descriptive, because I have many friends and a close family. Fortunately my friend’s metaphor about recharging batteries made perfect sense. It’s not that I hate people or don’t have any friends; I just need to have quiet in my head to, well, recharge. Keep reading »
A new study offers a rather stark picture of how long-term friendships work: While we might not stay friends with the same people throughout our lives, we do tend to maintain the same number of friends, researchers say. In other words, “our capacity for maintaining emotionally close relationships is finite,” says an Oxford expert in a press release on the study. Read more on Newser…
On Friday morning I had just sat down at my desk at work when I got the message: my friend Ned committed suicide the day before.
What? No, not Ned. No. No. What? Why? Why now?
I don’t have anything original to say about grief, other than that incredulity, anger and sadness are on rapid spin cycle.
Yes. Yes, Ned. Keep reading »
Being a gracious and helpful person has scientifically been proven to lighten your mood and make you a happier person. Happiness is correlated with how much kindness you convey to others! Go figure! Read more on College Candy…
Does your significant other constantly chalk his bad mood up to something that you’ve said or done, then apologize almost immediately? Is your friend’s new beau always listening in to her phone calls or reading text message conversations over her shoulder? These seemingly normal scenarios can also fall into the category of abusive behavior, according to some relationship experts. “Any action that limits your freedom or self-expression could point to a pattern of control or abuse,” says author and relationship expert Maxine Brown. Read on for a list of more subtle signs that you or a friend may be in an abusive relationship on Your Tango…
Making friends as an adult is always a bit tricky. You can’t rely on the instant bonding powers of living in the same dorm or loathing the same chemistry teacher to create your social circle. People are super busy with jobs and relationships and kids. It seems like everyone is happily ensconced in their current friend group and not open to new members. Making new friends as an adult in a new city where you know no one is even trickier. But it’s not impossible! As a Nashville newbie myself, I’m still in the process of making friends. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way and some awesome tips collected from friends who have successfully done the whole “making friends in a new city” thing before… Keep reading »