I’m reading this book called Joe Cinque’s Consolation, which tells the true story of a real life trial of two women – Anu Singh, who injected her boyfriend Joe Cinque with heroin and watched him die, and Mandhavi Rao, Anu’s best friend who might have assisted her in the process. The story is complicated, of course, by mental illness and dependence and all kinds of other things, and you should read the book by Helen Garner if you get the chance. But what I want to talk about is Garner’s spot-on assessment of Singh and Rao’s relationship, one that she calls a “symbiotic power arrangement,” because I think we’ve all had one of these at one time or another (even if it didn’t lead to murder).
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I never really understood the daytime TV show circuit. I still imagine it the way it looked when my mother was a stay-at-home mom and everything was yellow or orange or pea green as they were in the early 80′s before neon took hold.
So when a daytime TV show asked me to be on one of their segments, I was hesitant. At first, I thought it would be fun. My next feeling was it would go terribly wrong because trying to speak for me is sometimes difficult, hence the reason I’m more comfortable putting words on paper. My last and final thought danced around the idea of it being a good career move or not. You know, in case I ever make it big someday, would I want something like a TV show in my past?
The segment was going to be about helping strained relationships, and how to mend them. As I already mentioned in an earlier post, it stemmed from a piece I did for Huffington Post, and it looked like it was a go until the controlling boyfriend of the friend with whom I was having this “strain” stepped in and put his foot down. Read more…
Do you find that you have just too much support? That people like you too much? That you’re just up to your eyelashes in friendships? Me too, comrade! Here’s how to destroy all of that.
It’s really important to pick fights with your friends. If there’s something that isn’t a big deal, it’s your job to make it as big a deal as possible. If they don’t see your point of view, it’s because they’re selfish idiots. You, by default of being you, will always be correct. Don’t put up with their guff. Storm out of the room. Keep reading »
September is International Womens’ Friendship month, so it’s fitting that the movie “Bachelorette” is out this month too. I went into the movie expecting a typical wedding rom-com about women who have perfect jobs and men, but instead I got a hilarious movie that finally depicted female friendships in a real way. Keep reading »
Country star Kellie Pickler (right) shaved off her signature bright blond hair yesterday to show support for her childhood friend Summer Holt Miller, a 36-year-old mother of two who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and will begin chemotherapy this week. The two women appeared on “Good Morning America” this morning to discuss Pickler’s buzzed locks and raise breast cancer awareness. “If this compels even one person to change their mentality toward waiting until the age of 40 for their mammogram, then it will be worth it,” said Miller. What a brave and beautiful display of friendship. [Entertainment Weekly] Keep reading »
To ensure my place as a “true Texan,” a jar of actual Lone Star dirt placed underneath the Connecticut hospital delivery bed confirmed that I was technically born on Texas soil. But establishing I was half-Texan was not the only attribute that my mother would assure I inherited from her side of the family, though. The day I popped out, Mom made sure to whisper the Girl Scout Promise into my newborn ears, an oration that would stick with me for the next 18 years.
After both my aunt and now-deceased grandmother received the Trefoil Award, an award given to “outstanding [women] and dedicated community leader[s] who embody the beliefs and principles of the Girl Scout Movement,” I had no other choice but to become a Girl Scout. My grandmother was a woman so involved in Girl Scouts that a GS Leadership Center was named in her honor. And she made damn well sure that every one of her daughters and granddaughters would represent the Girl Scout Mission and become “girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.” Keep reading »
When I was wee, I was best friends with the girls who were handy. Neighborhood kids, playgroup participants, and the like. In grade school, I gravitated toward girls who were brainy like me. Since book smarts were considered to be at odds with potential popularity, and since I had more going in the Brains Department than the Social Graces Department, I sought out equally bookish girlfriends. High school was pretty much the same as grade school, but in college, I ran with girls who shared classes, activities, or interests with me. And after college I befriended women who worked with me. Longstanding friendships from school and activities sometimes lingered, but new friends were drawn almost exclusively from my coworker pool. Keep reading »