All week, we’ve been focused on spring cleaning the clutter out of our lives, from our inboxes (guilty!) to our cars to our bad dating habits to our goodie drawers. We’ve swapped unwanted clothing, cleaned up some sex messes, made it simple to decide whether to keep it or toss it. But in this modern age, spring cleaning doesn’t end in the realm of the physical — our online lives could use some tidying up as well. You know what I’m talking about … your Facebook friends list. It’s time to clean house, ya hear? Here are eight types of folks you should unfriend without a second thought. Keep reading »
On TV, there’s always a group of friends who spontaneously meet up, or someone will call Tyler, and they’ll say, “Tyler, meet me at [whatever bar or coffee shop here]” and they hang up and don’t even give a time, and Tyler always shows up. And let’s not forget the ole drop-by. This happens a lot on “Beverly Hills, 90210″ (the original). EVERYONE drops by Dylan’s house. I understand why TV writers do this. To show characters calling each other, or texting each other, is a lot less interesting than having them speak in person. But this trope gave me false hopes about what being an “adult” would be like. And by “adult,” I mean any cool, awesome chick from 18–30; from Clarissa Darling to Carrie Bradshaw. I thought that once I turned that magical adult age, I would have a close group of friends who would always be available to meet at “our” place or drop by unexpectedly.
I don’t think this is a real thing. Keep reading »
As you know, I’m moving from Portland to Nashville in a couple weeks (gulp). I’ve started selling most of my stuff and getting all the logistics figured out, and everything’s going pretty well so far. There’s one thing, though, that’s been weighing on me since I began the process of relocating my life: I’m freaking out about leaving my best friend, Katelyn.
We met during college at Portland State and have been inseparable ever since. Currently, we see each other at least two or three times a week, and while we’re pretty good at talking on the phone too, the thought of putting thousands of miles between us is daunting to say the least. Since Ami gave me such great advice about moving, I thought I’d ask my Frisky coworkers for advice on how to make a long distance friendship work. It turns out that Jessica, especially, has a lot of experience in this arena, with friends scattered all over the globe. Read on for their top 10 LDF tips, and please share your own experiences and advice in the comments! Keep reading »
Guys, it was a rough weekend, what with the coverage of the Steubenville rape verdict, and all the rape apologists and all. Very disheartening. But then I caught this little gem of a video — Bikini Kill legends Kathleen Hanna and Kathi Wilcox playing “The Friendship Game” — and I felt a little bit better. It’s hard to believe that Bikini Kill is more than 20 years old now; the band’s music is still as vibrant and prescient as ever. [Huffington Post]
We’re more than a decade into the 21st century. I’d hoped — in vain — that some basic understandings of how non-Black people should interact with Black people could be something I could take for granted. But no. Somehow there are “those people” who remain entirely clueless, so much so that they will call a 9-year old the c-word, or paint a white model bronze-Black, or not even, as so-called, journalists, bother to learn the pronunciation of an Oscar nominee’s name. This is unacceptable.
Recently, I read the comments section of a post on Clutch where a male reader was baffled as how to initiate a conversation with Black women and asked for some rules. Several helpful women obliged. In the same spirit of combating ignorance, I offer rules for non-Black people to engage Black women without causing offense. If you can manage NOT to do the following, you can probably come across as a decent human being.
Humbly, I submit a basic list, my rules of engagement, and ask you NOT to do the following (and encourage Black women to add to the list in the comments)… Keep reading »
In the past couple of months, I’ve tried something new: I’ve removed people from my life who were not adding anything to it. I de-friended on Facebook. I unfollowed on Twitter. I stopped responding to emails.
This is so unlike me. Keep reading »
In fall of 2010, I went through maybe one of the lowest points in my life. I was dumped over IM by my live-in boyfriend (yes, that one) and due to a zillion circumstances outside of my control, my work life was in complete chaos. I walked around for weeks with a burning feeling in my stomach, unable to eat or sleep and in a total daze. I committed the cardinal sin of crying at work, and begged a doctor friend to write me a prescription for anxiety meds (I didn’t have health insurance at the time). I went to therapy. I bought self-help books on cognitive therapy to try and shake the shitty, negative thoughts that constantly ran through my head. I felt like a raw nerve with absolutely no hope of ever healing.
So I did the completely sensible thing, and bought a plane ticket to Barcelona. Keep reading »
This may be my favorite episode so far in our “I Always Wanted To Ask” series, which features the staff at Madame Noire — Brande, Veronica and Victoria — answering the questions we always wanted to ask Black women, and The Frisky staff answering the questions they always wanted to ask white women. In this episode, we talk about whether white women think about race, and white privilege, as much as they do. Also, we discuss the issue of diversity in — and diversifying — our friendship circles. It’s a good one, so check out the video above and weigh in with your thoughts and experiences in the comments!
Years ago, I had a conversation with a group of my close male friends and the age old question came up: Can men and women really be just friends? My boy Otto said, “No way! Guys always want to sleep with their female friends.” My friend Steve interjected, “Of course! I have a platonic female friends and I love them to death.” But then my friend Yorell said, “Yes, men can have platonic female friends, but only with women that are unattractive. If she’s pretty, there is no way you can be just her friend. That doesn’t mean it’s not a genuine friendship, but if you get the opportunity to smash, you will. Unless … she’s ugly.” Keep reading »
Every reality show competition has its oddball and Victoria on “America’s Next Top Model” fits it to a ‘T.’ She was homeschooled, attends online schooling at uber-religious Liberty University, and when she “gets in character” she over-acts during all her photoshoots … like in the most recent episode when she spat at the photographer. Victoria also just so happens to be the girl I want to win; she takes some of the best pictures, and easily has the best work ethic (which is half the battle).
Over the past several episodes of “ANTM,” the other girls have been closing in on Victoria. It started with snotty comments about Victoria being weird — which, sure, she is. Then it exacerbated in the episode before last when, at judging, the girls told Tyra Banks that they think Victoria isn’t eating enough — which, if we can go off the way producers have edited the show, is probably also true. Victoria defended herself and said she doesn’t have an eating disorder, she’s just extremely anxious about the competition and being away from her mom for the first time — which, again, is probably true. Tyra then pronounced she deeply cares about the health and well-being of the girls on her show, threatened that if Victoria restricts her eating she’s out of the competition, and vowed to keep an eye on her.
Then, on Friday night’s episode, all of this hoopla went even further: the remaining girls in the house confronted Victoria, telling her they don’t think she’s stable enough to continue with the competition. Keep reading »