Making friends as an adult is always a bit tricky. You can’t rely on the instant bonding powers of living in the same dorm or loathing the same chemistry teacher to create your social circle. People are super busy with jobs and relationships and kids. It seems like everyone is happily ensconced in their current friend group and not open to new members. Making new friends as an adult in a new city where you know no one is even trickier. But it’s not impossible! As a Nashville newbie myself, I’m still in the process of making friends. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way and some awesome tips collected from friends who have successfully done the whole “making friends in a new city” thing before… Keep reading »
So there’s someone special in your life, and drat it all to hell, you are not someone special in their life. You are, in fact, a pretty mediocre type of someone, a flat grayish ordinary kind of blur in their life who is around and is inoffensive and that’s about it. You are, as the great thinkers of our age have dubbed it, in the “friend zone,” and would like nothing more than to get out of this horrible zone and have that special someone love you and sit on you. Read more on Cracked…
Think about it. The majority of female-centric movies — films about women and/or for women — are about the loss, pursuit of and eventual attainment of romantic love. Believe me, I love a good teary chick flick or cheesy romantic comedy, but it says something that I am surprised when a movie marketed towards women is not primarily about the main female character’s relationship with a man. And I’m surprised and delighted when that movie is instead about her relationship with other women. The following gallery of films (which is by no mean’s exhaustive!) are not necessarily entirely about female friendship, but have women’s relationships with each other at the forefront of the story. Passing the Bechdel Test with flying colors are…
When it comes to romantic relationships, I’ve been very, very lucky. My boyfriend and I met when we were young and have been together for almost 10 years. Besides one breakup/get back together cycle in college (I told him I needed to go “sow my wild oats” but just spent six months crying and writing free verse poetry in my dorm room instead), our relationship has included minimal drama. Have we been through our fair share of relationship tests? Of course, but we’ve always treated each other with love and respect.
My friendship history, on the other hand, has been chock full of drama. I’ve had more than my fair share of toxic friendships, conflicts, and friend breakups. In fact, sometimes I feel like my tumultuous experiences with friends have been an inverse reaction to my blissfully boring romantic life. Maybe it’s the universe evening things out (this girl has a sweet, steady boyfriend, let’s make sure she has to deal with some craaaaazy friends!), or maybe I just have a certain amount of fucked up relationship energy that needs to go somewhere, and since I’ve been happily paired up for so long, my friendships became the outlet. Keep reading »
Some human connections are deep, complex, and endlessly rewarding. And then some fall at the other end of the spectrum: the people in our lives who we find irritating, boring, or abrasive — the stoner we’re on a date with, the annoying coworker who snort-laughs, the great uncle who insists Obama was born in Kenya. However, there’s a catch to these take ‘em or leave ‘em people in our lives — one small detail can be enough to tip the scales from irritation to love. Discovering that random redeeming quality is all it takes to go from “I wouldn’t be sad if I never saw you again” to “Dude, I just realized I am obsessed with you.” These epiphanies can come in the form of an unexpected talent, an idiosyncrasy, or a wild band camp story. Here are a few examples of qualities that can transform a person… Keep reading »
I love my friends, really. But there are times when, despite my best efforts, I cannot get it together to hang out. I know you’ve been there. Maybe it’s because the weather is crappy, or you’re just feeling off. Or maybe it’s because — and let’s get real honest about this — there’s a marathon of “America’s Next Top Model” on the Oxygen Network, and it’s the Crazy Lisa season. You love Crazy Lisa!
“In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.” said comedian John Mulaney, and I can kind of see what he means. It’s so nice to have a clean, unplanned afternoon, a large swathe of time where you can do whatever the hell you want. And sometimes, the pressure to socialize — especially for us introverts — can feel overwhelming. Whatever the case, there are ways to bail, and there are things you should avoid doing if you don’t want your friends to hate you/think you’re an incorrigible flake.
Keep reading »
Let’s face it: friendships are a lot like romantic relationships. They can be fun, exciting and sometimes they can be hurtful or even annoying. And just like our love relationships, they don’t always work out. We know we should end romantic partnerships when they’ve run their course, but it can be harder when it comes to a dead-end friendship. When it becomes increasingly obvious that a friendship is no longer working for you, how do you break up with your best friend? Read more at Your Tango…
I’ve had some sucky breakups in my day. The guy who dumped me after we had sex. The guy I had been living with. But no breakup has hurt for so long afterward as the friendship ending between me and my best friend, James*. James and I became close in 8th grade and stayed thick as thieves through high school, college, and our first few years living on our own in New York City, when we never lived more than walking distance from each other’s apartments. James was more than a friend; he was family. When our friendship ended, I mourned the loss as if he were a brother. He had been more like a brother to me than my own brother over the years.
Now he’s engaged to his longtime girlfriend. And I found out about it over Facebook. Keep reading »
For the most part, I’m super excited when one of my friends gets engaged. Good for them, finding the person of their dreams and shit. But what if your friend gets engaged to someone terrible? How are you supposed to respond to that? Because telling her how you really feel — “Do you really want to make the biggest mistake of your life?!” — is out of the question, and staring at her outstretched, blinged-out hand in horror would be, you know, rude, comedienne Sasheer Zamata has some suggestions for how to respond, without lying, when your pal tells you she’s marrying some douchebag. Step 7, “Gestures and Sounds,” will probably be my go-to. [The Hairpin]