Tag Archives: friendship

Dear Wendy: “Should I Befriend My Ex-Boyfriend’s New Girlfriend?”

One of my first really serious adult relationships happened when I was in my early- to mid-20s. We ended things after about three years, two of which we spent living together, and although our breakup was extremely heart-wrenching and hurtful, over the years we have been able to develop a much stronger relationship as friends. When he started dating his current girlfriend last summer, I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t hear from him as much (previously we had been hanging out an average of twice a week, sometimes more) because sometimes that’s just how things go when you meet someone new. But as the six month mark passed and my conversations with him were few and far between, I began to wonder what the deal was. He confided in me that his girlfriend had trust issues — MAJOR ones. (She was checking his browsing history on his computer, she made him de-friend me on Facebook, and every time he brought up my name or made an attempt to hang out with me, an argument would ensue.) They’ve been dating a year now and I’ve still never met her. The last time I talked to him — we’ve managed to see each other a handful of times since he started dating his girlfriend — he mentioned that he is thinking of proposing. I would like for his girlfriend to get the chance to know me. Additionally, I know my ex misses our friendship and still cares about me deeply, enough so that he has always stuck up for me and made sure she understood that her jealousy and trust issues were HERS, and not caused by anything I did. Should I make an attempt to befriend his girlfriend so that she becomes more comfortable with me? — The Ex

Keep reading »

Do You Kiss And Tell?

We’ve all seen the movies and TV shows where girls are gushing to their girlfriends about the juicy details of their sex lives. Are all girls like this? After the jump some women weigh in about how many intimate details they share with the ladies. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m So Envious Of My BFF”

My roommate is awesome and one of my best friends. Whenever I need to talk to someone I go to her and vice versa. The only problem is, and I feel like a petty bitch for admitting this, all the guys want her. I can’t blame them because I love hanging out with her and she’s gorgeous. I know I’m not ugly and I make friends easily, but I can’t compete with her when it comes to guys. Whenever I am interested in a guy, he’s interested in her. She would never pursue anyone she thought I was into, but what’s the point if they are just into her anyways? The self-hatred becomes even stronger because of how jealous and resentful I get when it’s not even her fault. I am so afraid that one day I will just blow up at her and end up hating her. I tried talking to her about it once, but it just made her feel bad and then mad at me because she thinks I’m too hard on myself. I guess I am asking you how do I stop feeling jealous and resentful? How do I become OK with knowing that every time we go out the guys will want to talk to her and not me? I just want to hang out with my best friend and be happy. — Cute, But Note Cute Enough

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Feel So Disconnected From My Friends”

About two years ago I moved far away from home to pursue a master’s degree. During that time, I went home on a few occasions, and each time invited a group of girls who I consider my best friends out to catch up. I sent them the occasional e-mails and texts, but with so much studying, I was unable to call or send out lengthy updates with much frequency. When I went home this past time, the weather was really bad and I got snowed in, making it impossible to attend a get-together we had planned. I tried to organize separate meetings with all of them, but they basically seemed too busy to meet before I went back. Fast forward to present: I was doing some “Facebook browsing” and noticed my friend said something to the effect of “My fiance and I” blah blah blah…. I knew she was dating someone, but I had NO IDEA she was engaged. Well, a few days later I got an email from her telling me to save the date for their wedding. I emailed back, congratulating her and asking about the engagement details. Apparently they had gotten engaged back in April (it’s August!) and she neglected to tell me. I feel very disconnected now; I know we’re all busy with work, school, careers, etc. and it’s not like I was the only one not in contact regularly (it works both ways, right?). Am I in the wrong for not sending them lengthy updates or making more of an effort? Is it irrational for me to be angry that I wasn’t told about something as important as that? Do I say that I’m upset or just accept that we’re probably all “growing apart”? — Out of the Loop or Out of Friends

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My BFF Dumped Me Over Facebook”

My best friend of three years recently sent me a Facebook message out of the blue telling me that she no longer wishes to be friends, or in contact, with me. Her reasoning was that being friends with me causes her “too much stress” and she has been thinking about it “for the last two months.” The two examples she gave of me causing her stress were when I got annoyed at her at a party (when she was being rude to the host) and when I got angry at her for, at the last second, choosing to go to a job over helping me move (she told me that if I wanted her help, I would have to pay her $200!). These were two small fights that we had already discussed and (I thought) had resolved. But she told me that I should no longer contact her, and even dis-invited me to a party she’s throwing. We had plans to travel abroad over winter vacation, and she was going to come to my family’s Thanksgiving this year (for the third year in a row). Why continue making plans with me if you’re thinking of dropping me as a friend? Some of our mutual friends have hypothesized that because she and her first serious boyfriend are still in the “honeymoon period” where everything is all roses and sugar, maybe she’s rejecting any relationship that isn’t “perfect” in her mind. I had a lot of problems with depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies when I was younger, and basically had no real friendships until around the time I met her, and her behavior is triggering some of those old feelings. I have no idea how to handle this if she refuses to even speak to me. — Confused, Hurt, and Betrayed

Keep reading »

15 Signs You’re Just Friends

I regularly receive letters for my “Dear Wendy” column from women who have crushes on their guy friends and want to know if they should confess their feelings. While I do condone being open and honest, there are some good signs women can look for first to tell how their guy friends might be feeling before putting their hearts — and friendships — on the line. After the jump, 15 signs he’s probably not interested in being anything more than friends. Keep reading »

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular