Tag Archives: friendship

Mind Of Man: Where All The Good Guys Are

Women always seem to ask me where all the good men are, as if these near-mythical dudes are hiding behind bushes, chained up in some vampire’s basement, or are just rare and elusive, like the snow leopard. Normally, I have to resist responding, “Maybe the good guys are just avoiding you.” But the answer to this frequent, lovelorn lament is simple: The good men are right under your nose. And that’s the damn truth.
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Where Mean Little Jewish Nice Girls Go On Yom Kippur

“Are you going to go to Rosh Hashanah services?” my sister asked me on the phone last week, and my gut instantly churned. Not because I’m now separated by the Atlantic Ocean from my family on the Jewish New Year, but because: a.) I had forgotten about it and b.) I didn’t feel like dealing with it.

“It’s tomorrow? And what year is it in Jewish anyhow? 18 million or something? I didn’t really make any arrangements. Maybe I’ll just fake going to services so mom and dad don’t freak.”

“I know you’re not religious, but aren’t you at least afraid of the wrath of mom?”

“I’ll repent for it a week later on Yom Kippur.”

Every year, when Yom Kippur, the day of repentance rolls around, I reluctantly put on a conservative pencil skirt, pack into the family Subaru, and fast for a day. At least I’ll lose a little weight, I think. Because why would I need to repent? I’m a good person. I haven’t killed anyone. I haven’t seriously offended any of my friends or family. I eat my vegetables. I even vacuumed under the bed. Once. Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: How Do We Avoid The Friend Zone?

Recently, a number of good friends of mine told me they’re getting into the friend zone with guys they’re interested in romantically. I had a little bit of advice for them, but then realized this was the perfect opportunity to reunite with some old friends. Thoughts from the guys on our IM, after the jump. Keep reading »

Bromance Is Kicking Romance’s Butt In Posts On Craigslist

Over the weekend Amelia and I watched “I Love You, Man.” How friggin’ cute are Jason Segel and Paul Rudd in that movie?! Our girl boners salute you boys! But it seems chicks aren’t the only ones who melted at their adorable bromance. My gay BFF has been complaining that his Craigslist cruising has become more tedious thanks to the glut of straight dudes posting to find their very own platonic man relationships. Guys across America have been looking for another kind of playmate on the internet, like online dating minus the sexy. Could it be the go-to slut finder website is attracting more guys looking for pals than pu**y? Heck, it’s become so popular, there’s even an e-card about finding man love! Dang, dudes can be so sweet sometimes. After the jump, what some of the men are looking for…

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Dear Wendy: Is A Potential Relationship Worth Jeopardizing A Great Friendship?

I’m 23 years old and have been friends with a 26-year-old guy–let’s call him Ben–for about two years. We met online, and instantly hit it off. We started doing the unofficial dating thing for about four months before I talked to him about making it official, because for all intents and purposes we were bf/gf anyway. Ben said he wasn’t ready for a relationship at that point, and as secretly devastated as I was, I cooled things off in the sex department and remained his friend.

Fast forward to two years later: We’re seriously besties, see each other at least twice a week, and text daily. He’s very affectionate towards me, and while we sleep in the bed and he’s a serious cuddler, we don’t have sex. Or kiss. Though he does say I’m beautiful, and devotes most of his attention to me when we’re out, even with his friends. He’s taken me camping with his family, and I’m always invited along when his parents come down from Michigan for the weekend to hang out and have dinner. He’s a very sweet, quiet, not-really-sexual kinda guy, but I’ve realized recently that I’m very not over him.

I recently revisited his original profile on the dating site on which we met, and it’s still active. On it, he even says that he’s been thinking about wanting a serious relationship with someone. Um, hello? What about me? I feel he’s sending me mixed messages that I don’t know how to read. While I do want to know how he feels about me, I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. I really can’t see myself being friends with him if he started dating some other chick (or if I started dating some other dude, for that matter), but I don’t want to give him an ultimatum. I definitely feel like he has feelings for me, but is maybe feeling the way I am? Like he doesn’t want to hurt the friendship? I don’t know … any words of wisdom on how I should go about handling this?

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Decode My Dream: I’m Scared Of Falling!

I had a crazy dream last night. I was at the top of a construction crane — the ones they use for high rises. I should mention that I am an architect by profession. The crane was yellow and I was at the very top of it holding on like someone holds on to a ladder and I was looking down at everything below. The crane was moving in a circle, which really put me off balance. I wanted to get down, but I was paralyzed with fear of falling, as this thing spun around slowly in a circle over the buildings below. I looked down at the crane operator, and he smiled and waved. I said, “I’m sorry! I just climbed up here to have a look.” He gave me a thumb’s up. He wasn’t worried about me at all. He trusted that I knew what I was doing as he spun this thing around. I finally started to climb down like a ladder and I met two other guys. They were also hanging on ladder-style. At one point, an elevator the size of a small phone booth rushed by, and the other guy holding on moves his hands just as it passes so it doesn’t knock him down. And I’m thinking, “Man! These guys do this all day, and they don’t get tired and they have no safety harness…..that’s pretty amazing.” So I’m shooting the breeze with them, but I really want to talk about how I’d love to find a way to get that elevator to come by, so I can get in and get down. But there was a feeling of not letting go of the rungs, to grab the other rungs to get down and just being a bit frozen like a cat in a tree hanging on. Any thoughts? – Hanging On for Dear Life
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Polite (and Effective) Ways To Silence A Chatty Cathy

Thank goodness for caller ID. It’s saved me many a time from having to suffer through a three-hour conversation with my aunt Judy (or “Jawdy,” as I call her). Don’t get me wrong; my aunt is a sweetheart, but she does ramble on.

We all have that person in our lives who just can’t seem to get the hint that it’s time to end a conversation. It can be really difficult to avoid feeling rude without spending your entire day chatting it up, but it is possible. With a little social finessing, you can say “hi” and “bye,” and be on your way. Read more Keep reading »

Pretty Women Can Be Hard To Be Friends With

Blame my older sister, the kindergarten teacher, but I believe in the Golden Rule. Whether you’re my boss, my intern, my boyfriend or my third-cousin-twice-removed, I will treat you with the same amount of respect as everyone else.

Why am I wired this way? Other kids were really cruel to me from grade school through high school—whether putting Scotch tape in my hair during class, calling me “Cabbage Patch Kid” because of my chubby cheeks, or circulating my name on a list where girls were ranked by their hotness and I was rated 3 out of 10. That stuff made me feel terrible most of the time and I don’t want anyone knowing what that’s like. Instead, I try to be kind to every person, regardless of how popular/attractive/smart they are, and not be a kiss-ass, ever.

It’s striking to me, though, how not being an ass-kisser has ruined my friendships with some very pretty women. In fact, my only friendship Titanics have happened when I’ve stood up to extraordinarily beautiful women and lost out. The Pretty Girl wanted me to play by her rules; I didn’t want to do it, so Pretty Girl read me the friendship riot act and ditched me. Forever. Keep reading »

Six Rules For Being Friends With An Ex

So you’ve made it through the horrifying breakup with someone you cared about … now what? To be friends or not to be friends, that is the question. Most of the time I like to make a nice clean break adhering to a “no contact” and “no getting back together” policy. I’ve learned from experience that this is a necessary move for me to heal my ailing heart and move on. In time, I am usually content to be “acquaintances with history,” exchanging an email every once in a while or having friendly drinks with the exes that I still respect. But that’s only after time has passed and I’ve removed the rose-colored glasses that I used to gaze at him through. And, of course, there are the guys that I know I won’t ever see or speak with ever again … those that have committed offenses of the heart too heinous to be forgiven in this lifetime. But it’s not always so black and white. Some people are worth keeping in your life. Keep reading »

My Friends Hate My Boyfriend!

“Sex and the City” illustrated many prominent issues that women sometimes encounter in their relationships: fertility struggles, unease about out-earning a boyfriend, being attracted to “toxic bachelors,” and wanting to pursue “sex like a man,” among others. While not every woman desires the unattached sex that Samantha pursues, “Sex and the City,” and in particular, “Sex and the City: The Movie” shined light on a phenomenon that nearly every woman deals with at one point or another: clashing with a friend’s love interest. On “Sex and the City,” Mr. Big continually treats Carrie like crap: never wanting to commit, marrying another woman yet expecting Carrie to happily continue as “the other woman,” and (spoiler alert!) eventually leaving Carrie at the altar at the Bradshaw-Preston wedding. But Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda are always there to clean up the mess Big made. Needless to say, the girlfriends develop a major grudge. Charlotte even confesses that she practiced what she would say if she bumped into Mr. Big on the street: “I curse the day you were born!” Keep reading »

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