Tag Archives: friendship

Dear Wendy: “We Broke Up, He Got The Friends”

I was with my ex-boyfriend for three years. During that time, my three best friends all moved away, so he became my best friend, and his friends became my friends. We broke up really suddenly three months ago, and while I know the breakup was for the best, I now find that I have no idea what to do with myself. The few close friends I have left are also friends with my ex. I find myself spending way too many nights at home alone because I know my ex will be at the party my friends are going to. It’s hard for me to move on when I feel so lonely all the time, but I don’t want to go running back to him just because it’s the easiest thing right now. I want to keep busy and make new friends, but I don’t know how! Do you have any tips to make this transition a little easier for me? — Needs New Friends

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I Love You Like A Sister

Women can frequently be heard exclaiming, “I love her like a sister!” I shake my head. No, you can’t love your best friend like a sister. A sister’s love is separate from any other kind of love. A sister knows not only your entire history, but also what your thoughts and emotions were at every milestone. A sister knows not only who you are, but also what made you who you are. Keep reading »

Hey Mister, Are You Trying To Schtupp My Sister?

You are allowed to protect your baby sister so that she remains in a happy, giant bubble, far away from bills, landlords, and men, right? Right? It’s reasonable that she remain approximately 12 years old forever, arguing at the lunch table that the Spice Girls are no good, playing lacrosse, and dating nobody? Perfectly reasonable. OK, so maybe extreme eternal youth is totally creepy in an “Interview with the Vampire” Claudia kind of way. And it isn’t truly what I want for my own little sister, but recently I’ve found my protective-sibling-claws coming out.
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4 Friends Every Woman Should Have

One of the most important parts of life are the friendships you have. Close friends are like a chosen family: they are the people you choose to have in your life on a long-term basis and you love them as if they were your sisters or brothers.

Friends are one of the biggest enhancements to life. They are there to laugh with you, cry with you, and share the ups and downs of life with you. Keep reading »

Seeing My Transgender Roommate Transition Changed Me Too

There’s a certain amount of brouhaha amongst some evangelical Republicans over a minor presidential appointment in the Commerce Department. Amanda Simpson will perform a job for the public benefit that I can’t define. I’m pretty sure most of the American public doesn’t know what the Senior Technical Adviser for the Commerce Department’s Bureau of Industry and Security does. But, because she’s transgender, it’s prompted an associate dean at the extremely conservative Liberty University to propel himself into the media’s light to proclaim that, “This isn’t like appointing an African-American in order to try to provide diversity and right some kind of discriminatory wrong. This is about political correctness.”

Absurdly stupid. Because, of course, it should be no issue at all, because people are people, and work ought to go to the person whose experience best merits it. And stupidity compounded because I’m unsure how obstinately self-blinded someone must be to believe that transgendered people don’t face deep prejudice. The prejudice is dumb, as it is at all times, but especially so when directed at a scattered group with no agenda other than to fit in and be left alone. But I guess there’s always a learning curve. I had one.
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Dear Wendy: “Should I Tell My BFF Her Ex Committed Suicide?”

I recently found out, through tracking rumors and calling people I haven’t talked to in years, that the high school sweetheart of one of my best friends committed suicide about three months ago. They broke up three years ago after a very tumultuous relationship, finally resulting in him hitting her in the face once, and her heading for the door for good. He had substance abuse problems, and a very difficult family situation, and would frequently contact my friend for the first two years following their breakup. He would be depressed, drunk, and trying to get her back. Every time. She cut off all contact with him, and I know that she doesn’t know about his death yet. The real issue here is whether or not I should tell her. On one hand, I don’t want to hide anything from her, but on the other hand, I’m worried about how she’ll react. She has dealt with severe depression herself, and has suffered some extreme hardships. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but worst of all, I think she will blame herself. Unfortunately she has never been one to handle these extreme emotions very well (not that I view that as a weakness, she’s just been through a lot), and depending on the timing, I’m almost afraid she’ll hurt herself. Even though he turned out to be bad news on the relationship front, remembering him from high school is a whole different story. He was, at least at some point, a wonderful person who was dealt many unfortunate hands in life, and part of me almost feels as though it would be a discredit to his memories if the love of his life remained unaware of his death. I’m so confused, and I’m not thinking clearly. Any thoughts? — Caring Friend

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Trial And Error In Making New Friends

I learned the hard way making friends isn’t as simple as asking, “Hey, wanna be my friend?” Apparently, that’s just downright awkward and makes you sound like a creep. So when I moved to a foreign city and it came time for me to search for new pals, I realized that forming bonds wasn’t as simple as television shows make it out to be. And especially when you don’t know the language, those cliched and supposedly fail-proof lady topics like “shoes” and “boys” don’t always translate.

I’ve been aware of the concept of “actively” making friends (and actually thought I wasn’t half bad at it), but realized that previously in my life, it was a gradual building based on existing relationships. When I got to Paris in September, I was a player in a whole new ballgame. To make comparisons, you could even say I didn’t even know what baseball was. In my vision of what life across the Atlantic would be like, I always pictured myself with friends, assuming that it would just happen. But after three days of being alone, I realized, Oh merde, you are completely alone. It wasn’t that I didn’t know anyone in Paris, but that they weren’t potential girlfriend candidates (moms with big families, older friends of my parents). So I got to work and found that some methods were surprisingly effective, while other interactions fell flat. Here’s what I did; I hope it might provide some insight for you …
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The 20 Dos And Don’ts Of Having A Post-Hookup Friendship

In this modern age of dating, casual sex, and fun hooking up, many of us remain friendly with people we’ve seen naked long after the ugly-bumping has come to an end. That said, there are still plenty of rules that must be followed if you actually want to maintain some semblance of a friendship. After the jump, 20 dos and don’ts of having a post-hookup friendship. Keep reading »

Debate This: Do Gays Make Better BFFs?

No one will dispute the importance of good girlfriends – they support your delusional hopes of one day being Mrs. Sam Kass, listen to you vent about your idiot boss and evil ex, and assure you that you haven’t gained an ounce despite that steady diet of french fries you’ve been adhering to, as a coping mechanism for the aforementioned idiot boss and evil ex. But it goes without saying that no modern woman’s circle of friends is complete without at least one gay bestie. The unique bond between a straight woman and a gay man is a many splendored thing, one that’s inspired sonnets (not really), TV shows, books, and the true barometer of mainstream credibility, a possible incarnation as a Bravo reality show. A new study conducted by Nancy H. Bartlett of Mount Saint Vincent University in Canada (and covered in the December issue of Allure magazine) suggests that having a large contingent of gay male friends may actually be good for you.

With this in mind, we asked women we knew if they felt that gay men made better best friends than girls. Two women share their opposing views, after the jump … Keep reading »

Family Fun Or Family Feud? How To Handle This Thanksgiving

The first line of the Tolstoy classic Anna Karenina reads “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way” – and the category your family falls into could make or break your Thanksgiving holiday. It’s often said that family gatherings bring out the worst in people, and every year, advice pours in on how to handle yours. Here’s a little bit of help this holiday season, whether you are happy or otherwise.

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