Tag Archives: friendship

Girl Talk: My Friend Crush Fell For Another Girl

When my guy friend recently became single, I saw a lot more of him. In fact, we were hanging out a lot and while sober. Seriously. We would just talk and the conversation was easy. So easy I was beginning to wonder if he was trying hard to get in my pants. I mean, he’s basically everything on paper I would want and my mom would love him, too. When does that magic ever happen?! He is manly, handsome, smart, and a good listener, but shy. Nagging in the back of my brain every time we hung out was this voice that kept saying, “Land this guy, you dumb slut!” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Can You Ever Truly Be Happy For Someone Else?

When I told my best friend I was happy for her because she was pregnant, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. The truth was that her announcement ruined my day, my week and my self-esteem. It added pressure to my already pressurized mid-30s brain and kept me awake at night with images of celebrating birthdays, alone and bitter, while everyone else basked in the warmth and love of their self-made families.

A few years later, when I was pregnant, I felt too guilty to announce it to my single friends. One night, as I finally plucked up the courage to pick up the phone and share the news, I said to my husband, “Watch, as I ruin someone’s day.”

He looked at me in utter confusion. “What are you talking about?” he said. “They’re your friends. They’ll be happy for you.”

“There’s no such thing as being happy for somebody else,” I shrugged, and he looked at me like I had just announced that I was a psychopathic flesh-eating robot. Keep reading »

Have You Ever Had An Inexplicably Fractured Friendship?

So apparently Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg didn’t speak for several years after starring in “The Color Purple” together. According to the pair — who spoke about their distanced friendship on today’s “Oprah” — their standoff ended after Whoopi spoke with Oprah on the set of “For Colored Girls…,” which Whoopi’s currently starring in. Whoopi asked her, “Did I do something to you?” And Oprah admitted that she thought she had done something wrong. Both thought the other one was mad, but neither knew what to do about it — for years. It seems ridiculous that two such powerful and famous women would both be so paralyzed to fix a fractured friendship. And yet! Women (and it does seem to be a distinctly female thing) seem to do this all the time — a small bout of silence turns into a cavernous, deep rift. Have you ever had a friendship break down over a similar kind of miscommunication? Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Am I Wrong For Hooking Up With My Friend’s Ex?”

I’ve recently developed feelings for one of my friend’s ex-boyfriends. Throughout their whole relationship she lied to him and cheated multiple times. I saw him at his most vulnerable and he would confide in me when things with them were rough. He and I became really good friends throughout the whole thing and everyone expected we both had a thing for each other. Though they broke up and he moved back to a city 10 hours away from me, he and I have stayed friends for two years now. Recently, he came up to visit and we unexpectedly hooked up … three times. Both of us admitted our feelings for each other after all this time. Now I’m conflicted. Did I break a girl code hooking up with him even though he and my friend broke up over a year ago, she is now currently living with her new boyfriend, and she treated him badly? He and I have both admitted we want to see each other again and maybe even try and give a relationship a shot. How/when should I tell her about us and is it a bad idea to pursue anything with the guy I could see myself falling in love with but who my friend still has a dibs on because of a stupid girl code? — Wanting What I Can’t Have

Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Went To My Ex-Boyfriend’s Wedding

I knew what it was as soon as I opened my mailbox. I picked up the large envelope addressed in lovely calligraphy to Ms. Ami Angelowicz. I held it in my hand, for a moment. It felt heavy. I tossed it on my kitchen table. I’ll open it later, I thought. I’m not quite ready to deal with this. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Lucky In Love But Not In Money” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Lucky in Love But Not In Money” who was saving for a house and felt resentful that her friends only invited her to participate in pricey activities even after they skipped out on throwing her a bridal shower and bachelorette party for her recent marriage and didn’t spend enough on her for her wedding. After the jump, she shares a few words … Keep reading »

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