It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Concerned Friend” whose pal was obsessed with becoming pregnant, despite (or because of) recent medical issues that made it difficult to conceive. CF wondered how she could be the best friend to her pal during this time — whether she should be realistic with her or “feed into her hope that she’s pregnant.” After the jump, found out how both she and her friend are doing today. Keep reading »
When my guy friend recently became single, I saw a lot more of him. In fact, we were hanging out a lot and while sober. Seriously. We would just talk and the conversation was easy. So easy I was beginning to wonder if he was trying hard to get in my pants. I mean, he’s basically everything on paper I would want and my mom would love him, too. When does that magic ever happen?! He is manly, handsome, smart, and a good listener, but shy. Nagging in the back of my brain every time we hung out was this voice that kept saying, “Land this guy, you dumb slut!” Keep reading »
When I told my best friend I was happy for her because she was pregnant, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. The truth was that her announcement ruined my day, my week and my self-esteem. It added pressure to my already pressurized mid-30s brain and kept me awake at night with images of celebrating birthdays, alone and bitter, while everyone else basked in the warmth and love of their self-made families.
A few years later, when I was pregnant, I felt too guilty to announce it to my single friends. One night, as I finally plucked up the courage to pick up the phone and share the news, I said to my husband, “Watch, as I ruin someone’s day.”
He looked at me in utter confusion. “What are you talking about?” he said. “They’re your friends. They’ll be happy for you.”
“There’s no such thing as being happy for somebody else,” I shrugged, and he looked at me like I had just announced that I was a psychopathic flesh-eating robot. Keep reading »
So apparently Oprah Winfrey and Whoopi Goldberg didn’t speak for several years after starring in “The Color Purple” together. According to the pair — who spoke about their distanced friendship on today’s “Oprah” — their standoff ended after Whoopi spoke with Oprah on the set of “For Colored Girls…,” which Whoopi’s currently starring in. Whoopi asked her, “Did I do something to you?” And Oprah admitted that she thought she had done something wrong. Both thought the other one was mad, but neither knew what to do about it — for years. It seems ridiculous that two such powerful and famous women would both be so paralyzed to fix a fractured friendship. And yet! Women (and it does seem to be a distinctly female thing) seem to do this all the time — a small bout of silence turns into a cavernous, deep rift. Have you ever had a friendship break down over a similar kind of miscommunication? Keep reading »