“Shortcuts” is a new feature of “Dear Wendy” in which I answer readers’ letters in two sentences or less because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Here we go with round two:
After many years of friendship, a friend and I had a falling out shortly after I got married last May. There were many issues that needed to be resolved in order to rectify our friendship. I sent her an e-mail expressing my concerns and even offered to fix the issues that we had in the friendship. She ignored my email and chose to not contact me again, with no “true” closure between us. We haven’t spoken in many months and while I’m not overly excited to contact her again (after all, she chose not to respond to the e-mail I sent), I did some Facebook “research” and discovered she still has herself tagged in some of my wedding photos. Personally, I would remove the tags on the photos and move forward in life, so I’m wondering if it’s possible she is trying to remember “the good ol’ days” of our friendship or could possibly be seeking to re-connect with me at a more appropriate time later in our lives? Should I hold out any hope that she could return at some point? — Former Friend
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The other night, after having sex with the new guy I’m seeing, he said casually, “I’m going out for a drink with my friend. I’ll be back in half an hour.” Fair or not, it bothered me that he was going out with a female friend (I’d still have been a little miffed it had been a male friend, but not in the same way). The fact was, I was exhausted after having flown home on a red eye that morning, so perhaps I was overly sensitive, but still, I was jealous … especially when three hours later I woke up and he wasn’t there.
I almost left, but he apologized, telling me his friend had some major issues to discuss and they’d lost track of time. He rushed back and we fell asleep together. The next night, I got to meet the woman I’ll call Alice when we all went to dinner. She was fun and sweet — and has a boyfriend. In just a few minutes, I could tell she wasn’t a threat to my relationship, but still, the fact that the majority of his friends are women, and there are lots of them, has given me pause. Keep reading »
It’s Friday! What are you definitely not going to be doing this weekend? Share it in the comments. Keep reading »
As a teenager, I lived in breathless anticipation or sickening dread of the inevitable drama with a capital D that Monday mornings brought with them. Who had hooked up with whom that weekend (and where and when)? So-and-so called someone a nasty name. Did you hear Sally broke up with her boyfriend … or did her boyfriend break up with her? At an all-girls prep school, drama was the default setting. Now that I’m a young-adult author, drama is my literary milieu; it provides the conflict that makes a plot. But that doesn’t mean I want it in my real life. Keep reading »
Marie Claire recently listed “10 things never to share with a bestie,” from “the sex dream you had about her boyfriend” to “your overbooked colorist’s number,” and while the list is funny — and pretty wise — it leaves out a few crucial items. After the jump, check out 13 more things you should never share with your best friend. Keep reading »
The majority of my friends are doing cool things with their lives: I have lots of journalist friends, friends who got cosmetology licenses, friends in law school, friends taking the Series 7 exams, even friends deployed in Iraq.
Yet, for all the ones climbing up their career ladders, there are a few 26- to 30-year-olds who’re still hanging out on the first or second rung. I’ve pretty much stopped asking, “Do you think you’ll start applying to jobs in that field you’re interested in?” or “Do you think you’ll move out of your hometown?” because the answer is always some variation of “I don’t know” or “not yet.” Some of these conversations have been going on for years.
I’m starting to see that your 20s aren’t just about making bad relationship decisions. They’re about making bad career decisions as well. Keep reading »