Tag Archives: friendship

Dear Wendy: “Our Friend Is Engaged To A Psycho!”

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My husband’s best friend “Bill” is engaged to marry his fiancee “Erin” this June. Last night, he told me about a fight Bill and Erin recently had that really concerns me. Erin feels very threatened by pornography and forbids Bill from looking at it because she considers it cheating. When she moved in, she destroyed his porn collection. A couple of weeks ago, Erin found a porn site in the web history on their shared computer and proceeded to compile evidence of Bill visiting porn sites. The same week, Erin found a cabinet with a locked door while Bill was at work; she pried it open to discover a set of porn DVDs. She called Bill and calmly stated that they “needed to talk.” When Bill got home that night, Erin immediately brought out the DVDs, began screaming and snapped the DVDs in his face. She then threatened to seriously damage his vehicle, began throwing things and ultimately punched him in the face. Erin truly expects Bill to never be sexually excited by the image of another woman and feels that he needs counseling for his “porn addiction.” The violence is obviously upsetting, and their inability to have an open dialogue sets the stage for future conflicts. My husband is generally the type to mind his own business, but I feel that he needs to urge Bill to seek counseling with Erin and seriously rethink the wedding if she refuses to go. What would you do if you were a friend of theirs? — Smells Trouble

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Dear Wendy: “Should I Warn My Friend About His Cheating Ex?”

I found out recently that my friend “Samanatha” cheated on her ex-boyfriend “Brad” when they were still dating. When I asked Samantha about it, she immediately denied it, but I’ve known her long enough to tell she was lying. Plus, the guy she slept with has absolutely no reason to lie to me about it. She and Brad are now broken up, but when he’s in town he stays at her place and they sleep together. She’s cheated on him in the past with a different guy and Brad forgave her. It was one of those things that’s understandable (while totally not right) because Samantha’s mom told her that if she wasn’t engaged she could have more than one boyfriend. It’s common knowledge that Samantha is completely hung up on Brad still and will take any chance to get back together with him. We’re talking saying things like “I’ll wear him down one day and we’ll just get married.” Brad is a really nice but passive guy. Plus, he doesn’t want to lose the guaranteed sex. The chance of them getting back together is fairly high, so I’m wondering if I should tell Brad now about the cheating, wait to see if they get back together, or just keep quiet? Brad is like a brother to me and I don’t like seeing him get hurt over and over again. — Trying Not to Meddle

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5 Signs Your Friend Is Really A Frenemy

Our generation, the trailblazers that we are, will leave a lot of different marks on this world, but none more significant than our ability to create new (and fabulous, mind you) words. Sexting. Legit. Facebooking. Fab. Whatevs. Whether we’re abbreviating them or combining them, we’re creating them, and we’re creating them with very specific purposes in mind.

How else would you describe a friend that acts like your enemy? Someone who you think you can trust, but you really can’t? Someone who makes you feel worse while she pretends she’s trying to make you feel better? This person is not your friend. But she’s not exactly your enemy either.

She’s your frenemy. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Chain Restaurant V-Day Tradition

Valentine’s Day is for lovers, or at least people who love love. But what happens when you’re neither in a relationship, or a state of mind to handle all the hearts, stars or flowers? I say, go ridiculous. For the past several years, my best girlfriends and I have gone out of our way to make the best of the worst holiday of the year, by making it as stupefyingly non-romantic as possible. We go to chain restaurants. Keep reading »

Friendship Is All In The Genes

We choose our friends based on many factors — common tastes, sense of humor, interests, and, according to a new study, gene patterns. Researchers discovered that friendship circles share more than the same taste in music and movies, they share similar DNA. Friend pairs tended to have closely matched levels of the gene that controls dopamine and seratonin in the brain, while having opposite levels of a gene linked to immunity. What does this mean? In short, that we instinctually befriend people with similar dispositions and dissimilar immune systems, meaning they’ll want to go to the same concert as us AND they probably won’t catch our flu when we get sick. If that’s not the definition of a friend, I don’t know what is. In the future, I will be administering DNA tests to prospective friends. [Live Science] Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I Crashed At My Friend’s Pad For 5 Months And Now She Won’t Talk To Me”

For the last five months I lived with a good friend and her boyfriend while I finished school. They were kind enough to let me crash with them and I’m so thankful they did. However, now that I’m moved out I feel like our friendship is over. I’ve heard through mutual friends that she complained about me being messy, ignoring her, and being awful to live with. She would routinely send me tweets and Facebook messages detailing the various things I did that annoyed her (i.e., snore, nap, have a glass in my room). The thing is, I was always clean. I VERY rarely left a dish unwashed, I cleaned the bathroom, emptied the dishwasher … I’m just at a loss as to why she would stop talking to me. I did really stick to myself while I lived there and didn’t hang out with her and her boyfriend. I didn’t want to invade their space but she never made me feel anything other than it was best to stay away from them. So I did. I’m at the point now where I’ve been evaluating our whole friendship and she really hasn’t been a great friend over the years. But I’m still bothered that somehow she has completely stopped talking to me. Should I contact her to find out why? Or should I just let this die and get over it? We have lots of mutual friends so I don’t want things to be awkward if we no longer talk. I just don’t know where to go from here. — Baffled

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