Tag Archives: friendship

Girl Talk: My Bully Was My Best Friend

I met Rebecca when I was eight and forced by my parents to join an AYSO soccer team called the “Killer Bees” because my mom thought it imperative that even scrawny girls who much preferred watching late night re-reruns of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” should get out and enjoy bitter winds of Chicago fall on the lakefront.  Early on, my feminist mother had adopted a policy that my brother and I had to do the same extracurricular activities, a policy that sometimes made me the only girl at a football camp or meant that both my brother and I had to take carpentry lessons.  In this case, my six-year-old brother had become a soccer fanatic overnight and I had landed in a pair of golden knee guards. (To this day I consistently get panic attacks when someone  peppily utters the phrase “Shake it Off!” ) Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Have I Been Permanently Friend-Zoned?”

I’m a college student in love with my best friend. I see “James” every day, usually for several hours at a time (sometimes alone, sometimes in groups), and we text constantly. He’s cute, funny, smart, attentive, interesting: everything I want in a guy … and obviously he likes me on some level, or we wouldn’t be this close. But nothing’s ever happened between us! Summer’s coming up; we live in different parts of the country, and next semester we’re both studying abroad in European cities — close enough to visit occasionally, but definitely less than we’re used to. I feel like time’s running out. I’ve already amped up the flirting and touchiness but nothing’s changed. All this drama (or lack thereof) is steadily and annoyingly chipping away at my self-esteem. Do I tell him how I feel before the semester ends and risk alienating him and making things awkward? Or do I just MOA and accept that I’m permanently friend-zoned? — More than Friends?

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Depressed and Unsure” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Depressed and Unsure,” who, much to her boyfriend’s chagrin, had befriended her BFF’s ex (and boyfriend’s friend) after the broke up. “We both share long-time struggles with chronic depression, and the outlet we’ve found in each other has helped us both immensely. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has taken issue with this new-found friendship.” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Friends Act Like I Don’t Exist”

My boyfriend is awesome, supportive, and ultimately even more of a feminist than I am. The problem is that I can’t help but feel like I get treated differently (by others) for being the woman in the relationship. Most of the men we mutually know treat me as if I don’t exist when they’re around my boyfriend and me. For example, my boyfriend and I used to throw house shows for local bands, many of whom we are friends with. Frequently, I would plan these shows on my own, and personally direct correspondence with the bands. As soon as they arrived to our house, though, they would direct all of their questions to my boyfriend instead of me, even though they knew I was the one who planned it. Another instance is one of our male roommates, who will speak to me one-on-one, but as soon as the three of us are together, he will not address me, and I’m given a strange look and am immediately brushed off if I try to contribute anything. I don’t feel as if I’ve done anything to make these men see me as incompetent, and my boyfriend and I certainly don’t advertise him as “the boss” or something. It’s starting to kill my self-esteem and causing me to resent my relationship. Could I possibly be doing something wrong that causes men to treat me this way, or is this really just a hazard of being “the girlfriend”? Is there anything I can do to change things? — Hear Me Roar

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Friendless In High School” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Friendless in High School,” who moved to a new school two years before graduation and hadn’t made any friends other than her boyfriend. She had grown so used to having him as a safety net, she wasn’t even sure whether she’d be able to go away to college without him. “My single self would probably be really mad at me right now for considering making this decision depending on my “high school sweetheart,” but on the other hand, I’m afraid of not finding new friends again, so I would like to have some kind of safety.” After the jump, find out if she’s still as lonely as she was when she wrote in and whether she’s still basing her college decision on her boyfriend. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Our Friend Is Engaged To A Psycho!”

Selling Engagement Ring?
engagement ring photo
Should Amelia sell her engagement ring? Read More »

My husband’s best friend “Bill” is engaged to marry his fiancee “Erin” this June. Last night, he told me about a fight Bill and Erin recently had that really concerns me. Erin feels very threatened by pornography and forbids Bill from looking at it because she considers it cheating. When she moved in, she destroyed his porn collection. A couple of weeks ago, Erin found a porn site in the web history on their shared computer and proceeded to compile evidence of Bill visiting porn sites. The same week, Erin found a cabinet with a locked door while Bill was at work; she pried it open to discover a set of porn DVDs. She called Bill and calmly stated that they “needed to talk.” When Bill got home that night, Erin immediately brought out the DVDs, began screaming and snapped the DVDs in his face. She then threatened to seriously damage his vehicle, began throwing things and ultimately punched him in the face. Erin truly expects Bill to never be sexually excited by the image of another woman and feels that he needs counseling for his “porn addiction.” The violence is obviously upsetting, and their inability to have an open dialogue sets the stage for future conflicts. My husband is generally the type to mind his own business, but I feel that he needs to urge Bill to seek counseling with Erin and seriously rethink the wedding if she refuses to go. What would you do if you were a friend of theirs? — Smells Trouble

Keep reading »

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular