Tag Archives: friendship

Girl Talk: What Female Competition Has To Learn From World Cup Soccer

I am by no means a sports fan. In fact, if I’m being honest, it took me eight full days to bother turning on ESPN to tune into the World Cup — this despite New York City’s peculiar, nearly European-scale football/soccer mania which has surrounded me for over a week and permeated my consciousness.

I’ve seen soccer matches before. I’ve attended them before. And I enjoy them, sure. My command of its rules and strategies is shaky at best, even though I played soccer as a kid. I recall seeing a match in Seville, Spain, and remember that after marveling over the physical beauty of the swarthy, sweaty, sexy footballers and getting momentarily swept up in the intense emotions of the fans, I got totally bored. No one ever scored, and the players seemed more interested in feigning injury and pantomiming intense pain to earn penalty kicks than in scoring hard-earned goals. And after hours of back and forth, the teams TIED. No one came out a winner.

THIS is the sport everyone loses their minds over? Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’m In The Market For A FWB

Here is a fact: I have never had a f**k buddy/friend with benefits. This is likely for the same reason it’s become common knowledge that I am incapable of having a one-night stand without getting a case of the sadz — I cannot stop myself from associating sex with love. The nature of a f**k buddy situation is that the two people involved like each other as people and as sex objects, but not as boyfriend/girlfriend material. The difference between a friends with benefits situation and a one-night-stand, of course, is that usually in the case of FWB, the two people involved already know each other and, in theory, have ruled out any interest in the other person as a potential mate, at least for the time being. Now, I’ve had one-night-stands with friends and thankfully have maintained those friendships even after our clothes were back on, but a successful, ongoing, fun friends with benefits situation has eluded me. Well, here’s a confession: I want one. Bad. Keep reading »

Sometimes Breaking Up With A Friend Is The Right Thing To Do

As I get older and my life becomes more complicated, I’ve noticed that my desire to spend time with certain friends has waned. Not that I don’t love and care for them, but for various reasons, these friendships have become too complicated or too negative to warrant the effort that it takes to keep them going. How sad. Yet I have to wonder, is this simply something that happens with age and increased stress? Or is it more?

When I look back, the power of hindsight offers a few clues that these friendships were ending regardless of what was going on in my life. I don’t imagine that there was much that I could have done to save them because each one had some of the eroding elements listed below. If you’re thinking about shifts in your friendships and wondering if one has become toxic, I offer you these signs that it’s time to let the relationship go. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Bridesmaid Thinks Wedding Is A Charade

I’m supposed to be a bridesmaid at my friend’s upcoming wedding, but a few months ago, I learned that she cheated on her fiancé. She started lying to me about her communication with the other man and it’s clear she isn’t looking to follow anyone’s advice and is going to do what she wants. Canceling or postponing the wedding, or, god forbid, coming clean to her fiancé are out of the question. Her wedding is a destination affair so I will be paying to fly and stay at a very nice hotel for the weekend; the bridesmaid dresses are costly; and the bachelorette party isn’t going to be cheap either. I find myself starting to resent my friend. She comes crying when she feels confused or lost. but hasn’t really expressed or acknowledged how much this is costing or affecting her friends. I have tried to talk to her, but all I get in return are empty promises and lies. Am I supposed to just go along with it? Send an anonymous letter to her fiancé so they can try and have an honest talk about this? I work hard for my money and I really don’t want spend it on this charade. Is there anything I can do that won’t ruin the friendship? Or, am I being overly judgmental and need to mind my own business? — Reluctant Bridesmaid

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The 10 Types Of Girl Friends Everyone Has

We love our friends. Why? Maybe because they love us back no matter what stupid things we say or do. In turn, we love them for their quirks, mistakes, and funny personalities, too. Often, friends fall into categories. Your group might not exactly fit like the foursome in “Sex and the City” or the famous “Golden Girls,” but there are striking, and often hilarious, differences in every crew. After the jump, check out some characteristics of the friends you probably already have. Do your friends fit the bill? Which friend are you? Keep reading »

7 Reasons Gwyneth And Madonna May Have Had A Falling-Out

It’s been rumored that long-time besties, Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna, had a falling-out in the last year or so. Madonna’s rep denies any rift between the famous workout-loving blondes, but an “insider” says: “They don’t speak. I can’t tell you exactly why they had the falling out, but Gwyneth can be jealous and competitive.” In May’s British Vogue, Gwyneth herself even hinted at rough waters with a friend, though she didn’t name names, saying: “I’m having a situation right now with a friend where I’m feeling pretty angry.” Could Madonna be the pal in question? Maybe! If so, we have seven possible reasons the twosome had a falling out, after the jump. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Is It OK To Call Guys For A Second Date?”

I’m a woman on the cusp of her 30th birthday and have enjoyed my single status for over a year now, but am looking for a relationship again (I had three serious ones throughout my twenties). About a year ago, I joined an online dating site, and have had no shortage of first-dates, but very few second dates. Granted, I don’t always want a second date with every guy I go out with, but I’m baffled when my date seems to show genuine interest and then I never hear from him again. So my first question is this: do women really have something to lose if we go ahead and call after a date to take a man up on his offer? Several friends are insistent that calling after the first date makes a woman look desperate, end of story. I am not sure how many more blows I can take in this department — there’s always the nagging question of, “What if I had just called?” I’m also wondering if there’s some “secret” I’ve been oblivious to in the past year that will magically make me more successful in the dating world. I believe I’m a “catch” and I know all the first-date don’ts: don’t drink too much, don’t talk about your ex, don’t sleep with him or come on too strong, etc. Is there something else I should be (or not be) doing? — Tired of Being Single

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How To Be A Good Ex

Not to put too grim a spin on it, but it’s a fact that most relationships eventually end, and most of us have been on both sides of the breakup equation. Here’s a brief guide to handling being either end—the dumper or the dumpee. Keep reading »

10 Signs He Might Be A Moodle

Is your new flavor of the week extremely good-looking, complementary at the bar, always well-dressed and open about his emotions? He might seem perfect, but maybe he is just a moodle, a man-poodle. Here’s a little explanation of the man-poodle from Urban Dictionary: “Women like to walk the moodle, feed the moodle, play with the moodle, but they never do the moodle.” After the jump, find out the 10 signs your new guy might be a moodle! Keep reading »

Are All Your Friends Lying To You? Lori Gottlieb, Fairy Godmother Of Rudeness, Thinks So

We all have friends who act stupid. The one who’s sleeping with her unemployed alcoholic ex again. The one who continues to pick up her mother’s phone calls even though they always end in tears. The one who works for corporate America and still posts nip-slip pics of herself on Facebook. We, the friends, usually stand by as these inanities occur, lying in wait with a shoulder to cry on. That is the role of a friend, right? We’re here for you after the fact.

But in a piece for July’s issue of Marie Claire, author Lori Gottlieb argues we are the ones making bad decisions by not being blunt with our friends. (You’re crazy if you’re still seeing that jerk! Your mother is messing around with your head! You’re going to lose your job if you don’t exercise a little more discretion!) As female friends, Gottlieb writes, we “yes” our pals “into false presumptions and bad decisions … convincing one another that anyone who disagrees with us is wrong.” Keep reading »

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