Tag Archives: friendship

Dear Wendy Updates: “Almost Ex Friend” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Almost Ex Friend,” whose best friend of almost 20 years had been fading out of her life. Still, they remained on the same sports league, so avoiding each other completely was out of the question. After the jump, find out how she and the friendship are doing today. Keep reading »

Are You Guilty Of Housesnarking?

I’ll admit: I ended a friendship based on their comments about a chair cushion.

It was my housewarming party: 15 people swirling through my new apartment among perfectly-fluffed throw pillows and newly painted lavender walls. I’d pulled things together in two weeks, just before my birthday so that I could celebrate the new place and my new age together.

My friend walked in, gave me a hug and as she looked over my shoulder towards the apartment she whispered: “It’s cute! But so small.” She grabbed some wine and plopped onto one of my newly upholstered seats. “Can you believe Amy reupholstered those herself?” asked my lovely friend Katie. “Um, yes,” said the friend. “They’re pretty light on padding. I’m guessing it was a rush job.” Read more… Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Bully Was My Best Friend

I met Rebecca when I was eight and forced by my parents to join an AYSO soccer team called the “Killer Bees” because my mom thought it imperative that even scrawny girls who much preferred watching late night re-reruns of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” should get out and enjoy bitter winds of Chicago fall on the lakefront.  Early on, my feminist mother had adopted a policy that my brother and I had to do the same extracurricular activities, a policy that sometimes made me the only girl at a football camp or meant that both my brother and I had to take carpentry lessons.  In this case, my six-year-old brother had become a soccer fanatic overnight and I had landed in a pair of golden knee guards. (To this day I consistently get panic attacks when someone  peppily utters the phrase “Shake it Off!” ) Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Have I Been Permanently Friend-Zoned?”

I’m a college student in love with my best friend. I see “James” every day, usually for several hours at a time (sometimes alone, sometimes in groups), and we text constantly. He’s cute, funny, smart, attentive, interesting: everything I want in a guy … and obviously he likes me on some level, or we wouldn’t be this close. But nothing’s ever happened between us! Summer’s coming up; we live in different parts of the country, and next semester we’re both studying abroad in European cities — close enough to visit occasionally, but definitely less than we’re used to. I feel like time’s running out. I’ve already amped up the flirting and touchiness but nothing’s changed. All this drama (or lack thereof) is steadily and annoyingly chipping away at my self-esteem. Do I tell him how I feel before the semester ends and risk alienating him and making things awkward? Or do I just MOA and accept that I’m permanently friend-zoned? — More than Friends?

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Depressed and Unsure” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Depressed and Unsure,” who, much to her boyfriend’s chagrin, had befriended her BFF’s ex (and boyfriend’s friend) after the broke up. “We both share long-time struggles with chronic depression, and the outlet we’ve found in each other has helped us both immensely. Unfortunately, my boyfriend has taken issue with this new-found friendship.” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Friends Act Like I Don’t Exist”

My boyfriend is awesome, supportive, and ultimately even more of a feminist than I am. The problem is that I can’t help but feel like I get treated differently (by others) for being the woman in the relationship. Most of the men we mutually know treat me as if I don’t exist when they’re around my boyfriend and me. For example, my boyfriend and I used to throw house shows for local bands, many of whom we are friends with. Frequently, I would plan these shows on my own, and personally direct correspondence with the bands. As soon as they arrived to our house, though, they would direct all of their questions to my boyfriend instead of me, even though they knew I was the one who planned it. Another instance is one of our male roommates, who will speak to me one-on-one, but as soon as the three of us are together, he will not address me, and I’m given a strange look and am immediately brushed off if I try to contribute anything. I don’t feel as if I’ve done anything to make these men see me as incompetent, and my boyfriend and I certainly don’t advertise him as “the boss” or something. It’s starting to kill my self-esteem and causing me to resent my relationship. Could I possibly be doing something wrong that causes men to treat me this way, or is this really just a hazard of being “the girlfriend”? Is there anything I can do to change things? — Hear Me Roar

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