Tag Archives: friendship

Dear Wendy: “My Mother Thinks I’m Too Young For A Meaningful Relationship”

I am 23 and halfway through my master’s program. I have been dating my boyfriend, whom I met my senior year in college, for the last year and a half. It has not been easy due to our constantly changing life situations and the fact that we are long distance right now, but we make it work and I see myself with him for the foreseeable future. My mother, however, is very pessimistic about my relationships. Ever since I started dating, she has made me feel like my relationships aren’t “real” because I’m so young. She will say things like, “Well, I don’t think college relationships are meant to work out,” and once when I was going through a rough patch with my guy she encouraged me to go out and meet other guys — not to cheat on him, but to hang out with other guys “as friends” to see if there was any potential. Recently, I mentioned the possibility that he might have to move to California (we live in New York) and she said “Well, it’s only a year, maybe your paths will lead back to one another someday.” She’s done this with every guy I’ve ever dated whether she liked them or not. Is she right? Am I incapable of forging a meaningful, long-lasting relationship at 23? It’s not like I’m marrying the guy. How do I tell her to stop minimizing my relationships? — Can’t Stand Up to Mom

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Beyonce Doesn’t Trust Women With No Female Friends

“When women don’t have [female] friends, I’m afraid of them … I grew up around women, I believe that we can teach each other so much. I’m always thinking about how unselfish we are and the things we need to hear and how much pressure there is being a woman.”

Beyoncé shares a sentiment I happen to agree with. I am always skeptical of girls who say they don’t have lady friends, like it’s a badge of honor. More often than not, there’s something strange going on there. Even if a woman is a tomboy or prefers hanging with the dudes, it just seems off not to have a few close females in your life. Female friendships are definitely more complex than those with men, but I mean, you need someone who is gonna tell you when you’re outfit’s not working or you need to get over that a**hole already. While men can be supportive and wonderful, it’s just not the same. [ONTD] Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Jealous Of My Boyfriend’s Friendship With His Ex”

My boyfriend is still friends with his ex-girlfriend of a year, who also happens to be friends with all of his friends. They all hang out often and I see that they still talk over text messages and in person. I really feel uncomfortable and that it’s unfair that he’s still friends with her when he has told me it would be easier on our relationship if I didn’t talk to my ex of three years. I’ve only met this girl once and she has introduced herself to me but it doesn’t change how I feel about their friendship. I don’t know if I trust him or believe that he does not have feelings for her anymore. How can I ask him if he still loves her or tell him that it makes me feel uncomfortable without coming off like a complete psycho? — Ex Files

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Girl Talk: All My BFFs Turn Out Crazy, But I Still Want A New One

It starts early. Little girls give each other broken heart necklaces for their birthdays while boys have paintball parties. While boys are encouraged to participate in sports and group activities, us girls are pushed to more one-on-one activities like tea parties or making Barbies have sex under a blanket. Studies show that there are different friendship styles for boys and girls. In one, when middle school girls were faced with the prospect of meeting a new friend, their brains lit up in areas associated with pleasure and reward. Boy brains’ just didn’t do the same thing.

My “anecdotal evidence” from the field? Over the years, I could actually feel my brain light up when it became clear that a new friend would earn the title of “best.” I’ve learned that these relationships are just as valuable as any amorous one and that they do indeed have their own sense of romance.

For me, they also bring about a whole lot of crazy. Keep reading »

4 Essential Ways To Support A Friend Going Through A Hard Time

As the saying goes, when it rains, it pours. The last few weeks have been pretty hard for me. An immediate family member is in the hospital; while they aren’t in mortal danger, the situation is messy and as their power of attorney, I’m having to juggle my emotional stress with a legal responsibility that feels uncomfortable but is nonetheless necessary. Additionally, there have been other, uh, unpleasant developments in my personal life that have left my heart feeling incredibly bruised and disappointed. Yet the last few weeks have been made much more manageable thanks to my amazing family, friends, and coworkers, who have shown their support in just the right ways. After the jump, a 4-step plan for supporting a friend or family member who’s going through a crappy time. If you have any additional steps you want to add, share them in the comments! Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “How Can I Support My Friend But Convince Her Not To Marry Her Boyfriend?”

My best friend “Brenda” and I are both 23. She and her boyfriend Jason have been together for about a year and a half, and have lived together for the last nine or 10 months. He’s been wanting to get married for awhile, but she keeps saying she isn’t ready. The thing is, she has said to me privately that it’s more than just not being ready. Jason has made it very clear that he wouldn’t want his wife to work, but Brenda has such a promising and demanding career and has always said to me that she’d want to work in some capacity even when she’s a mom. Jason wants to be the sole wage earner and have a stay-at-home wife, but he doesn’t even have a career direction yet. I don’t think they are too young to be married, but I do think they have two very different visions for how their lives as married people will go. Now, even while she’s saying these things and expressing these concerns about Jason, they’re planning and saving for their eventual wedding. And not the hypothetical type of planning — the actual making calls and choosing venues type of planning. I know her relationship is none of my business, but she does want to talk about it with me, so my issue is: how do I walk the line between supporting her and confirming that her doubts are significant and she should really consider them before she moves forward in the relationship? I don’t want to flat-out say, “Don’t marry him!” but I also don’t want to brush off her feelings of hesitation. — Walking the Line

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