Here is a fact: I have never had a f**k buddy/friend with benefits. This is likely for the same reason it’s become common knowledge that I am incapable of having a one-night stand without getting a case of the sadz — I cannot stop myself from associating sex with love. The nature of a f**k buddy situation is that the two people involved like each other as people and as sex objects, but not as boyfriend/girlfriend material. The difference between a friends with benefits situation and a one-night-stand, of course, is that usually in the case of FWB, the two people involved already know each other and, in theory, have ruled out any interest in the other person as a potential mate, at least for the time being. Now, I’ve had one-night-stands with friends and thankfully have maintained those friendships even after our clothes were back on, but a successful, ongoing, fun friends with benefits situation has eluded me. Well, here’s a confession: I want one. Bad. Keep reading »
As I get older and my life becomes more complicated, I’ve noticed that my desire to spend time with certain friends has waned. Not that I don’t love and care for them, but for various reasons, these friendships have become too complicated or too negative to warrant the effort that it takes to keep them going. How sad. Yet I have to wonder, is this simply something that happens with age and increased stress? Or is it more?
When I look back, the power of hindsight offers a few clues that these friendships were ending regardless of what was going on in my life. I don’t imagine that there was much that I could have done to save them because each one had some of the eroding elements listed below. If you’re thinking about shifts in your friendships and wondering if one has become toxic, I offer you these signs that it’s time to let the relationship go. Keep reading »
We love our friends. Why? Maybe because they love us back no matter what stupid things we say or do. In turn, we love them for their quirks, mistakes, and funny personalities, too. Often, friends fall into categories. Your group might not exactly fit like the foursome in “Sex and the City” or the famous “Golden Girls,” but there are striking, and often hilarious, differences in every crew. After the jump, check out some characteristics of the friends you probably already have. Do your friends fit the bill? Which friend are you? Keep reading »
It’s been rumored that long-time besties, Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna, had a falling-out in the last year or so. Madonna’s rep denies any rift between the famous workout-loving blondes, but an “insider” says: “They don’t speak. I can’t tell you exactly why they had the falling out, but Gwyneth can be jealous and competitive.” In May’s British Vogue, Gwyneth herself even hinted at rough waters with a friend, though she didn’t name names, saying: “I’m having a situation right now with a friend where I’m feeling pretty angry.” Could Madonna be the pal in question? Maybe! If so, we have seven possible reasons the twosome had a falling out, after the jump. Keep reading »
Not to put too grim a spin on it, but it’s a fact that most relationships eventually end, and most of us have been on both sides of the breakup equation. Here’s a brief guide to handling being either end—the dumper or the dumpee. Keep reading »
Is your new flavor of the week extremely good-looking, complementary at the bar, always well-dressed and open about his emotions? He might seem perfect, but maybe he is just a moodle, a man-poodle. Here’s a little explanation of the man-poodle from Urban Dictionary: “Women like to walk the moodle, feed the moodle, play with the moodle, but they never do the moodle.” After the jump, find out the 10 signs your new guy might be a moodle! Keep reading »
We all have friends who act stupid. The one who’s sleeping with her unemployed alcoholic ex again. The one who continues to pick up her mother’s phone calls even though they always end in tears. The one who works for corporate America and still posts nip-slip pics of herself on Facebook. We, the friends, usually stand by as these inanities occur, lying in wait with a shoulder to cry on. That is the role of a friend, right? We’re here for you after the fact.
But in a piece for July’s issue of Marie Claire, author Lori Gottlieb argues we are the ones making bad decisions by not being blunt with our friends. (You’re crazy if you’re still seeing that jerk! Your mother is messing around with your head! You’re going to lose your job if you don’t exercise a little more discretion!) As female friends, Gottlieb writes, we “yes” our pals “into false presumptions and bad decisions … convincing one another that anyone who disagrees with us is wrong.” Keep reading »
Having a roommate can be a godsend if you want to live in an expensive city. But a roommate can also be a major annoyance in your life, especially if she or he has a habit of bringing home late night lovers or giving their partners all-access passes to your apartment. Headphones and an easy-going attitude can only get you so far. Luckily, there are ways to avoid roommate wars and uncomfortable confrontations. Here are a few things you can do to give yourself some peace of mind and some peace in your apartment. Keep reading »