Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Tag Archives: friendship
I’m an eighteen year old girl about to start college. I’ve had a boyfriend for a year and I’ve really enjoyed our time together. He was my first boyfriend, therefore he is very special to me and basically all I have ever known. Very soon, we will be about two hours apart during college. This is hard for me to even fathom because we see each other almost every day. He has become a best friend to me, and I just don’t know what to do without him. On the other hand, I am interested in dating other people. A part of me wants to see what is out there and have new experiences, but I am so afraid I will make the wrong choice and be unhappy without him. I can’t even picture him with another girl — the feeling makes me a jealous monster. I honestly feel stuck. What should I do? — College Conundrum
There’s the age old question, “Can men and women just be friends?” But there’s a second question that’s practically as ancient: “Should you just be friends or take it to the next level?” The upcoming film “One Day,” starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess, explores that very notion by introducing audiences to Emma and Dexter, a pair of Brits that spend the night together their last night of college, and then decide to just be friends. The film — check out the trailer here — then shows them each year on the same date to see where they are in their lives. Sometimes they’re together, sometimes they not, but you’ll have to watch the movie to see whether they end up together in the end. Keep reading »
I’m 21 and have been offered the opportunity to work in a rural area of a third world country. I will be doing something not very glamorous — necessary work for the project, but not the most exciting thing ever. I am very ambivalent as to whether I should accept it — I don’t speak the language, have no particular ties to this country, and am unsure if I would enjoy this opportunity. However, it would be a different experience and very unique. I would appreciate your level-headed thinking on this matter. In addition, I have a boyfriend of over two years. We have a great relationship and love each other deeply. He has offered to move to this country with me. He has few things tying him to our current location and has also expressed that he would be willing to follow me to other areas of the continental U.S., etc. My question is: is this a good idea? My heart says yes. It would ease my mind greatly if we didn’t have to worry about the long-distance relationship factor. I’ve mentioned potential obstacles, but he brushes it off as, basically, it doesn’t matter; he wants to be with me. What do you think? If I take this opportunity, I would want him to come, but I’m worried about what might happen. What if he hates it? What if he can’t find a job? I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to see him all that often. Please help! — First World Dilemma
There’s this (amazing) song on the soundtrack to the (terrible) movie “The Romantics” called “We Can’t Be Friends” by Lenore Scafaria. My favorite lyrics go:
“I want to wear a skirt, I want to make mistakes,
I want to kill you first and then take your name,
I want to tear you apart, I want to make your bed,
I wanna break your heart, I want to break your head,
I guess this means we can’t be friends.”
In the days, weeks and months following a big breakup, I listened to this song on repeat. Every word of it spoke to me (especially the part about breaking his head). We’d said to each other on our first date, moony-eyed, that even if this didn’t grow into anything, we should still be friends.
Two years later, it couldn’t be more obvious that we could not be friends. My friends don’t sneak around behind my back. My friends don’t email me lists of the things they don’t like about me. My friends don’t threaten to throw out my stuff. There’s a hell of a lot of things my ex-boyfriend did that I wouldn’t stand for if one of my girl or guy friends were to do them. Why should I make concessions for acting like a d**k just because we had been in a romantic relationship together? What would that prove?
This cropped up again recently when a guy I’d been going on dates with for about a month ended it with me. Hormones, as I’ll call him, said he didn’t have strong enough romantic feelings or see long-term potential for us. Yadda yadda yadda. That is fine. I understand. I appreciate that he was honest about it. But then Hormones told me that he hoped we could be friends. Keep reading »