You’ve met his friends; he’s met yours. Now it’s time to add fruity cocktails and mix. Short of introducing your parents to his, combining your two sets of friends—especially if they exist in very different worlds—is one of the most nerve-wracking milestones in a relationship. And since summertime is party time, it’s probably going to happen in the next month or so. Here are a few steps you can take to make sure it’s not a complete disaster. Keep reading »
Of the 11 guests who recently got wasted at my apartment, I’d guess that approximately zero could tell you my sister’s name.
I doubt any would know if my parents are still together or who the latest guy I dated was. Maybe half would know I grew up in Texas. A casual observer might find this lack of basic information surprising, given how comfortable we were with each other: One guy lay on his back giving a girl an airplane ride on his legs, while a different girl swigged straight from a wine bottle on my couch. Read more … Keep reading »
Today is National Tell The Truth Day, and it’s time to get real. Stop lying! Some people (us included) love to beat around the bush or zip their lip while their friends make serious mistakes. Hate the bridesmaid dress you have to wear? Tell the bride (unless it’s the day of her wedding). Listening to your girlfriends whine about shady men? Remind them they deserve better! Whether you’re dealing with fashion disasters, diet choices, or relationship problems, here are all the lies we simply must stop telling each other and ourselves. Keep reading »
You know that one guy friend of yours who’s always been something of a question in the back of your mind? The one who finishes your sentences and is there for you whenever you need him, but whom you’ve never actually gotten naked with? You know the one – he’s the prime candidate for your “If we’re not married by the time we’re 45” pact.
I have one of those guys in my life, and recently, after evaluating what it was that I’m really looking for in a relationship and thinking it might be him, I decided to take the leap. I vowed to be brave and bold and all mature-like and actually address aloud what had been unsaid for all this time.
So, I did exactly that. And basically, this happened. To my complete and utter surprise, he explained that I’d totally misread his signals; that, in fact, he hadn’t thought of me in that way for a very long time.
Where, in my interpretation of things, had I gone so utterly wrong? Keep reading »
If you’re lucky, you have an awesome group of girlfriends. Our friends keep us sane and happy … most of the time. What about the friends who aren’t always true blue? The fair-weather friend is in your address book, but she doesn’t always make it to your planner. You count her as one of your closest buddies, but she has let you down more times than you can count. Here’s how to deal with a friend who isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated. Keep reading »
I’m sure you get lots of letters about people who are afraid of commitment in relationships, but I have a different problem: I think I’m afraid of commitment in friendships. I’m a college student and don’t typically have any problem meeting new people; I have a full course load, I’m involved with a couple campus groups, I even live in a sorority house. I never have trouble finding someone to share dinner with, a drink, watch a movie, or whatever, but I don’t feel close enough to any of these people to ask them for advice on personal issues or share problems with them. In fact, I doubt I’ll even talk to any of my “friends” after graduation, despite the fact that college is supposed to be where you make lifelong friends. I wasn’t always like this; I had very close friends in high school (we’ve grown apart now but still keep in touch), and even now I have a boyfriend whom I don’t have any commitment issues with. I’m not sure where or how this situation developed, but I feel increasingly isolated and lonely without any best friends in my life. What can I do to learn to open up and be closer to people? — Disconnected
I have been in a relationship with a great guy for almost two years now, in a city that’s about 1000 miles from where I grew up. I’ve recently become unhappy about living here in the big city (which I really can’t afford) and have thought long and hard about moving back closer to my parents. I have also been thinking lately that, while I’m content in my relationship, I really don’t think I would be happy for the rest of my life with this guy. He’s just not “the one.” I know I have to be honest with him, and that it has to happen soon because it’s not fair that I think these things without telling him. He’s just such a good guy and we recently got back from a great weekend with his family; my question is: Is it possible to end this relationship without losing touch with this guy and his family? If I broke things off and moved away, is there any chance of everyone not hating me? — Needs a Change
Between the BP oil spill and the U.S. and U.K. facing off during the World Cup, the “special relationship” across the pond has gotten seriously strained in the past few weeks. This is unfortunate considering that—as I learned from spending a decade in London—creating any relationship with a Brit is not an easy task. As a 32-year-old comic in England, I suffered for years from “cultural autism,” not understanding the bulk of people’s actions and words. Or at least what they meant in “English.” I was lost in a morass of professional, social and romantic rules, constantly making shameful mistakes. But I eventually decoded the etiquette of the glorious Brits by researching their anthropology and, uh, marrying one. Here are my hard-culled tips to U.S. travelers who set off to the U.K., a land where not everyone is an American-loving Hugh Grant or Hugh Laurie. (Although everyone is called Hugh).
Keep reading »
I just recently graduated from university and am on the job hunt, as are a lot of my friends. One friend and I come from similar educational backgrounds, but vary in different life and work experiences. She recently alerted me to an amazing job opportunity that she believes she’s qualified for. I agree that she definitely meets the minimum qualifications but the thing is, so do I! And my work experience would really set me apart from her, in the positive. Being aware of this, I asked my friend if she would be angry if I applied for the job as well. She initially said ‘yes,’ due to the fact that I have more experience. I think I’m going to apply anyway, but I am wondering – does this make me a bad friend? Hypothetically, if I do receive the job, I think it would put stress on our relationship (which I feel is unfair) because that’s the kind of thing my friend causes drama over. She often tries to one up me or make her “situations” the focus of attention. I feel like all we ever discuss is her life, her relationships, and the like. I do love her though and don’t want to lose her as a friend, but in this economy, a job’s a job. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Obviously neither of us have been hired yet, but chances are one of us could definitely be. — Piece of Work
I bought a house last summer and decided to ask a friend, whom I’d lived with before, to be my roommate once again. While it wasn’t ideal the first time around, as she is quite lazy and doesn’t have the best hygiene, I needed help on the financial front and felt I knew what to expect. The trouble is, she is now even lazier, doesn’t respect my things (almost everything in the house is mine), has ruined expensive items without offering to replace them, and the hygiene front is getting terribly worse. I’m what people would call a b****; I usually say what’s on my mind and I don’t think before I speak, but this past year has been difficult as I’m afraid my normal “honesty” would send my antidepressant pill-popping roommate rocking in the fetal position in a corner. By the time I think of a nice way to tell her what needs to change, the problem feels out of date and inappropriate to talk about. I can very well kick her out now, as the finances are somewhat better, but the problem is we have the same circle of friends, and if I get rid of her, I risk losing quite a few of them. I feel like many of my problems with my roommate should have been voiced much earlier, but I avoided them hoping they would resolve on their own. Plus, I needed the monthly rent. — Fed Up
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