Tag Archives: friendship

Make It Stop: “My (Taken) Guy Friend Keeps Hinting We Should Hook Up”

Make It Stop: "My (Taken) Guy Friend Keeps Hinting We Should Hook Up"

I’ve gotten myself into a miserable situation with a good friend, who I’ll call Dave. We’ve known each other since we were kids and as we’ve gotten older, we’ve become close. I’ve always felt there was something more to us, but was never really sure, so I chalked it up to being bored with the lack of romance in my life. About a year ago, Dave made it obvious that he felt the same. The fact that we had been drinking and that he was recently single made me think that it wasn’t the best idea at the time. I explained that if our hookup wasn’t going to be anything substantial, it wasn’t worth risking our friendship over and he (glumly) agreed. The only problem is, he hasn’t dropped the idea. He’s now in a serious relationship but he still brings the idea of “us” up from time to time and at this point I have no idea what to do. I care about him a lot, more than I’ve been able to admit to anyone because I’m terrified that it could lead to something ending terribly. My girlfriends have told me that this situation is a waste of time, that if he really wanted to be with me he would and I wouldn’t be in this limbo and that I need to move on. They also say that if he talks to me like this while he’s in a relationship, is he even trustworthy? While my head thinks they could be right, my heart is torn. I worry that they’re right, but the thought of not being close with him anymore is devastating. How do I make this stop?

You talk a lot about your fears, but, honey, your fears are already happening.

You said you’re afraid of risking the friendship. Once mutual attraction was openly discussed, the friendship was compromised. You said you’re afraid of it ending terribly. Well, it doesn’t sound like it’s going that great right now, otherwise you wouldn’t have written me. Lastly, you said you’re afraid of not being close to him. It sounds like there’s already heavy distrust and mixed signals flying around left and right. Welcome to your nightmare! Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “I’m Broke & Can’t Afford To Go Out With My Friends”

Make It Stop: "I'm Broke & Can't Afford To Go Out With My Friends"

As a result of chronic underemployment, I’m poorer than most of my friends. The problem is that they always invite me to go to expensive restaurants and happy hours at trendy spots. Just one of those happy hour hangouts costs as much I’d spend on grocery shopping for the week. It’s nice that they want to include me in their plans, but it makes me feel horrible to stress over how much everything costs when I’m out with them. If I come clean that I can’t afford to go, my fear is that they’ll stop inviting me out altogether, which would solve my problem, but it would also suck to have no friends. I already feel like a broke loser, I don’t want to be a broke, friendless loser too. How do I make this better so it doesn’t feel like I’m choosing between my friends and my wallet?

I’m certain lots of people are in your shoes. Except instead of underemployment, they’re in grad school, they’re paying off students loans, they’re saving for a wedding or a house, they just lost a job or just had a kid. Whatever the case, plenty of people can’t afford to toss their hard-earned cash at exotic drinks that end in -tini. Keep reading »

Frisky Reads: After Birth By Elisa Albert

To get this out of the way from the get-go, Elisa Albert’s After Birth is going to offend a lot of sensitive people, some for the following reasons:

  • Some mothers won’t like the fact that the novel takes place in the depths of post-partum depression and will claim that they got through birth just fine, thanks, so why whine about it? Meanwhile, of course, completely missing the point. They will give it one-star reviews on GoodReads that misspell the narrator’s three-letter name. Keep reading »

I’m So Obsessed With Lena Dunham & Taylor Swift’s Friendship

Taylor Lena

This week’s issue of Time Out New York features a total BFF fest — Lena Dunham is interviewed by best friend and “Girls” showrunner Jenni Konner, and spends a huge chunk of that interview gushing over pal Taylor Swift. So much girlfriend love! A snippet of the conversation: Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “I Can’t Stop Being Jealous Of My Boyfriend’s Ex”

Make It Stop: "I Can't Stop Being Jealous Of My Boyfriend's Ex"

My boyfriend, Sven (not his real name), and I have been together for about seven months. And while he’s incredible, there’s just one thing that makes me uncomfortable. My BF is very close with his ex-girlfriend Veronica (not her real name either). They hang out with each other one-on-one, share a circle of friends and common interests, they dated through college and even lived together.

I like this girl, and I want to be capable of forming a friendship with her, for both my boyfriend’s happiness and my own peace of mind. But every time I am put in a social situation with her, I freeze up, internally panic, and start comparing myself to her. Veronica is pretty, funny, and I can totally envision her and my boyfriend as having been/being a couple. I think she picks up on this vibe, which I find completely mortifying. Keep reading »

True Story: Married … With A Roommate

True Story: Married ... With A Roommate

New York City real estate causes many a housing arrangement made in desperation. If you live in NYC (or, for that matter, any city with insanely high rents), you likely know a few 30-somethings who still live with roommates or someone whose “convertible bedroom” is actually the living room with a room divider. The city is pockmarked with couples who moved in together more quickly than they would or should have, all citing the same very good reason: “It doesn’t make sense to pay two rents when he’s here all the time anyway.”

I had a shitty housing arrangement horror story in my mid-20s and hoped that would be my last. But then I wed a recent immigrant who needed a permit to work, a green card, and a job. Thus I found myself newly married and living with a roommate. Keep reading »

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular