Follow me on Twitter. Email me at Jessica@TheFrisky.com.

Talking Points:

1. Gunnar, Gunnar, Gunnar. He’s been acting like such a little shit lately, culminating in his missing Scarlett’s Opry debut because he was sitting in jail for acting like a little shit. I love Gunnar so much, and I want to keep loving him, but has he gone too far? Should Scarlett take him back?

2. Deacon and Rayna. A preview they showed last week made it pretty clear that Deacon is going to find out the truth about Maddie. This sneak peek from tonight’s episode makes it even more clear:

Deacon obviously has every right to be mad, but do you think his and Rayna’s relationship can survive this? I really hope so, because every time they kiss I squeal with glee and jump up and down on the couch.

3. Juliette’s emotional stability. Good lord, this girl needs a hug more than ever. She’s going to try to go to the CMAs tonight, isn’t she? This can’t end well.

4. Avery. Are you guys back on Team Avery since, as my friend Catherine put it, “he’s been eating humble pie”? I mean, sending Scarlett a whisk backstage? Swoon!

5. Next season. Any guesses on what the major plot lines will be next season? Anything you hope they’ll change in the second season?

Pleeeease weigh in with your opinions about any or all of these subjects (or other “Nashville”-related topics) in the comments!

But not everything from the ’90s is worth missing. Here are the worst excesses of our best decade, from Marty Beckerman, author of the new book ’90s Island. Read more on TruTV…

INTERNATIONAL

• Pussy Riot member Maria Alyokhina, who is currently serving jail time for speaking out publicly against Russian President Vladmir Putin, has started a hunger strike because she has been forbidden to attend her own parole hearing. [Guardian UK]
• Seven women and five men were murdered inside a brothel in Baghdad, Iraq. [BBC]
• Pakistani athlete Arunima Sinha, 26, has become the first female amputee to reach the peak of Mount Everest. [Guardian UK]

See a story that belongs in Today’s Lady News? Send it to me at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter.

Francois Ozon: I think women understand the film more than men. … I think women can really be connected with this girl because it’s a fantasy of many women to do prostitution. That doesn’t mean they do it, but the fact to be paid to have sex is something which is very obvious in feminine sexuality.

The Hollywood Reporter: Why do you believe that is a desire? I really don’t think that’s the case.

I think that’s the case because sexuality is complex. I think to be an object in sexuality is something very obvious you know, to be desired, to be used. There is kind of a passivity that women are looking for. That’s why the scene with Charlotte Rampling is very important, because she says [prostitution] was a fantasy she always had but never had the courage to do it. She was too shy.

How did you come to the conclusion that is a theme in women’s sexuality?

It is the reality. You speak with many women, you speak with shrinks, everybody knows that. Well, maybe not Americans!

This is the French director Francois Ozon, whose film “Young & Beautiful” — about a Parisian teen girl who becomes a prostitute — screened at Cannes. At first I was inclined to think, ‘Oh, those French men!‘ but I do think this exchange is worth a closer look because it reveals a lot about his somewhat limited view of women’s sexual fantasies.

It’s really problematic to make statements about how an entire group of people get off. Sure, being paid for sex is a fantasy some women have. However, sex work is a profession that both men and women engage in (and my personal view on it is that it should be legal) yet Ozon calls prostitution “very obvious in feminine sexuality,” which he equates to being “desired” and “used” as well as “passivity.” Certainly there are many people who enjoy passivity during sex, even objectification — myself included — but that’s hardly a desire exclusive to women only.

Additionally, not all sex workers behave in a passive manner; in fact, many have full agency of themselves, being proactive in the work that they do if not outright dominant.  Women as passive objects in prostitution is the stereotype, which, again may be true in some cases.

Yet Francois Ozon is very convinced what he described is “reality,” even making the dig that “everybody knows that” (except Americans, I guess?). Zut alors. Don’t you love it when men explain our experiences for us, ladies?

[Women And Hollywood via The Hollywood Reporter]

[Photo of a prostitute via Shutterstock]

“The Oxford English Dictionary accepts both pronunciations … They are wrong. It is a soft ‘G,’ pronounced ‘jif.’ End of story.”

– Steve Wilhite, the inventor of the GIF and winner of a Webby award, expresses his irritation at the bastardization of the word. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to change the way I pronounce the word. JIF is peanut butter, not an animated image of Tanning Mom modeling a bikini. But that may have been the point.  Fun fact about GIFs: A website called the GIF Pronunciation Page suggests that the GIF was purposefully named to make it sound like the popular brand of American peanut butter, “one of the principal three programmer foods (the other two being Pepsi and nacho cheese Doritos).” Still not going to change the way I say it. [BBC]

A series of studies done at University of Chicago and University of Virginia suggest that , if anything, we overestimate ourselves. Not just in terms of our appearance — but in every way. Researchers took pictures of participants and created enhanced versions of those pictures so that some were more attractive and others were less so. When asked to select the real picture of themselves, participants tended to pick the most attractive one. When asked to select the real picture of a person other than themselves, participants were able to do that with no problem.

This bias toward our own greatness can be attributed to a phenomenon psychologists call self-enhancement — where we overestimate our own good behavior, but accurately predict the behavior of others. It’s like when we say we swear we’re going to get to the gym four times this week, but when our friend tells us the same thing, we roll our eyes because we know it will be more like once. Also, research has shown that in addition to overestimating our good behavior, we seem to think we are above average at most things — like driving — when really, we may just be average. (Um. I still know I’m an amazing driver, thank you very much.)

So why do we insist on deluding ourselves? Because it’s easier than lying to everyone. The self-enhancement effect allows us promote ourselves socially and romantically, to be confident without feeling like big, fat hypocritical liars. So, back to the Dove campaign. They misled us. But no harm, no foul. If confidence is the end goal, I’ll just go on believing that I’m more beautiful than I think. [Scientific American]

MAKE UP FOR EVER Rouge Artist Intense in 49 – satin blueberry: This deep burgundy hue, just shy of black, is so intensely pigmented (as the name implies) that you’ll definitely want to be careful about where you get it. Not like you’re wearing white, or anything. [$20, Sephora]

Benefit Benetint: This beloved stain can be dabbed on lips and cheeks for a rosy flush or layered on for an inkier appearance. Bonus: it looks like blood in the bottle! Especially if you break it on your bathroom floor. [$30, Sephora]

Rimmel Stay Matte Pressed Powder in Transparent: Whatever your complexion, a silky matte face is key. This translucent powder is perfectly portable for reapplication throughout the day. [$4.99, Ulta]

Sephora by OPI Nail Color in Dark Room: It might be blasphemy to say, but black can be a little boring, especially on nails when you have to look at them all day. This opaque midnight green is almost black, but not quite. It earns a second glance every time. [$9.50, Sephora]

Maybelline Line Stiletto Ultimate Precision Liquid Eyeliner in Blackest Black: My favorite black liquid liner that I never stop talking about, ever, this prime drugstore pick is the only way to go. Something about the tapered felt tip and smudge-proof dry down makes it basically unstoppable, whether you’re putting it on or trying to keep it on all day. BURY ME WITH IT. [$5.59, Drugstore.com]

Yes, you read that right. Ropid may soon introduce a train to the Czech capital’s metro system that will play host to single people after morning rush hour. The train may be up and running by the end of the year, according to Der Spiegel. Read more on Huffington Post…

Yet across town, hate crime violence persisted: more men were attacked in NYC because of their sexual orientation that same evening. 

First, a man named Dan Contarino was beaten up in the Alphabet City neighborhood. The report was first broadcast on Twitter:

Last night, another gay man was brutally attacked in NYC’s East Village. “You just want to cry and move on,” he says. twitter.com/JordanBach/sta…

— Jordan Bach (@JordanBach) May 21, 2013

According to NBC New York, police said that the suspect and victim — who had known each other for a month — were walking together and began fighting due to the fact the Contarino was gay. Advocate.com reported that witnesses saw the suspect yelling gay slurs while kicking Contarino; The New York Times said the suspect “struck the man in the head, knocking him unconscious, and fled.” Contarino has since posted updates about the attack on his Facebook, including a photograph of his badly bruised face.

Then, early Tuesday morning, NBC New York reported that a gay couple in their 40s were walking around at 5 a.m. in SoHo, when they were taunted with antigay slurs in both Spanish and English before one of them was punched in the head.

This brings the total of anti-gay crimes in New York City this year to 29, the Times reported. You can do better than this, New York City.

[New York Times]
[EV Grieve]
[NBC New York]
[Nightlifegay.com]
[Advocate.com]
[Wall Street Journal]

Email me at Sarah.Gray@TheFrisky.com.

The craziness unfolds, after the jump.

First, Canseco tweeted Las Vegas police arrived at his house to allegedly charge him with rape (although Buzzfeed reports as of this writing, no charges had yet been filed — he has merely been called a “person of interest”):

He then accused the alleged victim of “lieing”:

More accusations the alleged victim lied:

Then he tweeted a photograph of the alleged accuser, who is pictured wearing a bikini, and a followup tweet with the same photo and her name:

Then he tweeted the alleged victim’s phone number:

Then he offered to take a polygraph “on national TV”:

Canseco also tweeted the name of where alleged victim works (which I was unable to capture) and a “dare” that she tell the truth:

Almost every single one of these tweets has been deleted. Still, the damage has been done. This is straight-up abuse. Even if Canseco is not proven to have drugged and raped the accuser, I hope he gets the book thrown at him for tweeting her phone number and work address and telling people to go after her.  You know the only people who do that are the media (annoying) or crazies (“men’s rights activists”). Sadly, being an epic douchenozzle may not be illegal.

[The Atlantic Wire]

Follow me on Twitter. Email me at Jessica@TheFrisky.com.

[Images via The Atlantic Wire and Twitter.com/JoseCanseco]

These are some things that have happened to me. A roommate perpetually wrinkled her nose every time I cooked kimchi, finally asking me one day to not cook “that stuff” in the house, because it smelled like dirty socks. I have been asked in earnest if Chinese people really do cook cats and dogs, and if so, how could I possibly stomach eating household pets. Once, with quietly simmering rage, I endured a conversation with someone about how Asian people “freak him out”. I would love to say that I handled these incidents with grace, and presented an articulate treatise that served a cutting insult along with an education, but the truth is I’m horrible under pressure. Perspective is everything. Here are some ways I might handle a similar situation in the future.

1. Do Nothing, Say Nothing, Just Bounce: Don’t like what you’re hearing? Is someone saying something that makes you angry? Just grab your bag, give a little wave and get out, lest you break a bottle, flip a table, or throw a drink in someone’s face. Trust me, it will be much easier this way.

2. Play Dumb, Then Let ‘Em Have It: Did someone say something sideways to you, not knowing that you’re a person of color?  Cool. Play dumb! Ask them to explain themselves, just let them firmly wedge both feet in their mouth before you clue them in on your background. Bask in the glory of that awkward silence, grow stronger with each second of it, and then sky’s the limit. Try hard to knock down every carefully placed sandbag of defense they’ve put up — and this won’t be difficult. Explaining precisely why you’re racist in the heat of the moment takes monstrous balls. See if they’re up to it — then shoot them down.

3. Go Full Out: This is kind of risky and could very well make you look insane, but hey, test the limits! Is there a foreign language associated with your people? I can count to 10 in Chinese, and say a smattering of very important words like “turtle,” “apple” and “barbecue pork bun.” Next time, I will let loose, babbling in Chinese while making angry hand gestures. I’ll have a friend stationed in the wings to play a gong on their phone for emphasis. Whatever you say here will sound convincing. Get loud. See who backs down first.

4. Attempt to Understand: Racism is rooted in many things, but I’d say that the fear of the unfamiliar is the driving force behind most casual racist ideologies. Perhaps this person didn’t grow up somewhere with a lot of diversity, or lived in a weird bubble where it was totally cool to say rude things about people of other races with reckless abandon in mixed company. Be the better person — attempt to understand how this could possibly be, attempt to understand where they’re coming from — but this should not affect your ire. Whether you are super angry, or just a little bit pissed, own that.

You cannot change the way people think in one sitting, but you can make sure they know that they’re wrong. Armed with these tricks, you should be able to handle any and every situation you encounter, from random street harassment to a persnickety coworker. Good luck!

Eventually, the fourth child “died” too, and another benefit was held for her.

It was one of Duncan’s very-much-alive children, Nicanol “Nick” Collazo, who alerted the police of her fraud. Collazo clarified that he’d never been to the Middle East and that he only had one other brother, who was also alive. Attempting to catch her in the ruse, local police then asked the church to have Duncan provide documentation of her sons’ deaths. To keep up the lie, Duncan crafted a doctored letter from the U.S. Secretary of War.

Duncan managed to collect more than $1,000 from her church in donations, clothing and furniture, but now she’ll have to pay restitution to all of her victims. Amazingly, even after the church discovered her con, they still invited her back to services, but so far, she’s refused. [Fox 4]

“Oh, the crazy thing is really easy. If anybody could have proven me to be crazy, they certainly would have. And it’s never happened. Technically, in the sense of being bipolar, manic-depressive, or any of that stuff, it’s just not true. I mean, have I gone online and ranted and raved about my finances. Abso-fucking-lutely. Without any filter on. I mean, there’s a part of me that just doesn’t fucking care. And if that’s defined as crazy, then I need to find a psychiatrist who will diagnose that. I mean, maybe I’m more antisocial. I even asked my shrink, ‘Am I bipolar-ish?’ And he’s like, ‘No, you’re not.’ And I said, ‘Not even ish?’ And he said no. It’s just not there. So ‘crazy’ is a word that doesn’t affect me.”

– Courtney Love opened up to Bust magazine the common slur that’s used against her and how she has zero fucks to give. Love has always behaved … colorfully … to put it politely, and she’s absolutely done many things that were inappropriately bonkers, like accusing Dave Grohl of having sexual feelings for her daughter, Frances Bean Cobain. To be sure, there are plenty of people with mental illness who are so far in denial that they can’t admit they have a problem. She totally could be in that camp. But it’s also possible, just possible, that a famous woman who acts bonkers gets labeled “crazy” and men who behave the same way are just seen as “fun” or “quirky” … or “winning!”  [Bust Magazine] [Photo via Bust Magazine]

(And if you’re interested in being featured as a Reader Revealed, shoot me an email with “Reader Revealed” in the subject line!)

Please state your name or avatar, age, and location for The Friskyverse.

Jen, 32, and Burlington, NC

How did you find the site?

I found an article on Stumbleupon, and once I looked around TheFrisky.com I believe it was love at first reading.

What do you do all day, other than follow The Frisky, which is totally condoned?

I coach college volleyball which I love because it allows me to mentor young women.

What is your fave post in recent Frisky history?

I think Ami’s story about “The Case for Doing Nothing” is my favorite story so far. I liked it because I feel like nice a woman gets into her 30s and is single she has to try everything to get married, and if she isn’t trying everything then she isn’t trying. Ami showed that sometimes when you aren’t trying the best things come to you.

What are your pop culture guilty pleasures?

Just reading about celebrities doing normal things. For some reason it excites people to see them doing everyday things, as if once a person makes a crap ton of money they cease being a human.

Can you share your most embarrassing dating story? We always share ours. It’s only fair.

I don’t have an awkward date story, which is surprising since my life is a series of awkward events put together. But I do have one that was embarrassing to my date. Let me preface this story by saying I am a terrible bowler, as in picked last for leagues, and only picked because there is no one else available. I am also the person that is terrible and wins because I am very lucky, but unfortunately, I will talk crap the entire time I am winning. So yes, I am that person. I went on a date with a guy who loved to bowl. He bowled quite a bit, whereas I only bowl for special occasions (and my team got dead last at the last staff bowling event). We were bowling and I was winning, which pissed him off to no end. It was coming down to the last frame and if he got X amount of pins, he would win. Well, right before he released the ball his pant leg got stuck under his shoe and he did the splits in the air and landed dead on his kneecap .. on the hardwood floor. Yep, he was in pain and I could not stop laughing. Laughing with tears running down my face and holding my gut. I couldn’t stop even when he limped over to me to show me his knee. I felt bad, but not bad enough to stop laughing.

Do you consider yourself a feminist? Why or why not?

I am a firm believer in equality for women, but more importantly woman’s reproductive rights. Women should have control of their body and what happens to it, not a random person who thinks they know best. I don’t think that someone else should be able to dictate what a woman does with her body.

If The Frisky staff came over for dinner, what would you serve us?

A spinach salad, Rachael Ray mustard-maple pork chops, honey glazed carrots, and herb-roasted potatoes. You bring the dessert!

What type of skivvies do you have on right now?

I am wearing Nike shorts with the built in underwear. I think this was the best invention ever and other bottoms need to follow suit. The world would be a better place with built in underwear on skirts, shorts, and pants. Con: you can only wear the outfit once — no repeats without laundry!

What is your secret talent?

I have the parking spot bug. I can find a great parking spots anywhere. It is a gift and a curse.

What’s an amazing book or movie that other Frisky readers absolutely must get their hands on right now?

Any book that honestly allows a woman to embrace her sexuality. Too many times a woman is told that she is a slut or a hoe when she says what she likes or does what she likes. I think that it is time for women to embrace their sexuality and say, “this is who I am and if it isn’t what you wanted or expect then I am sorry because it is me.” If there is any book I would have to mention it would be the 50 Shades of Grey series, because it allowed women to be more open with each other about what they like without being judged. It opened up great dialogue that allowed women to realize that they are not alone and it also helped them explore more about who they are.

Which celeb would you most want to get in bed with? Which celeb would you most want to marry?

Ummm, I would have to be with Amelia on Ryan Gosling. He is purty hot I must say. Jason Momoa is another one — he has that crazy look to him. I like it. The Hemsworth brothers could get it, they are all hot. Seriously, what was their mom drinking when she was pregnant with them? One being hot, that is normal, but to have all the brothers crazy hot? That is just plain mean.

What’s something you hope to see more of on The Frisky?

Just more personal stories by Jessica, Ami, Winona, and Amelia. I just love the personal perspective that they give in their lives that makes us realize that we aren’t alone in things we go through. I would love to see more minority writers because they have another perspective to add to being female.

Nowhere near New York? Don’t fear! Start your day with Lucille’s breakfast, vodka on the rocks and toast, or whip up your own batch of cornballs? There are a host of ways you can dine like the Bluths. It’s as simple as grabbing a juice box, Buster style, stuffing a quick mayonegg in your mouth, or of course, gobbling down a frozen banana.

[Gothamist]
[The Food In My Beard]
[Tulsa World]
[Food Riot]