Oh, Mike. You’re such a creep. On last night’s episode of “Jersey Shore,” Mike tries to teach Snooki a lesson (his choice of words) by spreading the rumor that he or his friend called Jionni to tattletale about their alleged hookup. It’s hard to say whether doing that, or letting Snooki think he did that, is the more douchey thing to do.
So, thanks to him, we learned a new Jerseylicious acronym: GTD or “Gym, Tan, Drama.” Though GTD could just as easily be “Gym, Tan, Domestic Violence,” because Snooki freaked the f**k out on Mike and chucked like 12 wine bottles at his head.
Now, what The Situation did to her was bad. Really bad. But for the love of gelato, that was insane. Snooki is like the new Ronnie, which is to say an emotionally-stunted caricature of an adult human being.
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“Close your eyes, give me your hand … darling. Do you feel my heart beating?”
Earlier this week, I found myself swaying back and forth, a glass of Prosecco in my hand, belting out the lyrics to The Bangles’ “Eternal Flame,” my favorite song circa 1988. I was 8 years old when the tune came out and, at the time, it seemed far more important that I learn to tease my hair a la front woman Susanna Hoffs than study my multiplication tables for third grade math. I put even more effort into memorizing the lyrics to “Walk Like An Egyptian.” The song remains my karaoke standard to this day.
As I looked around the packed club at the large number of iPhones being held in the air, capturing the moment on video, it occurred to me that “Eternal Flame,” a song that had sounded so deep to me as a kid, was actually kind of trite. But I pushed the thought from my mind. I wasn’t hear to evaluate the artistic merit of the music I had loved when I was younger—I was here simply to revel in the fact that I had loved it. As the song ended, Susanna took a moment to address the crowd with some heartfelt words. “It’s the 30th anniversary of The Bangles,” she said. “All the love you’ve given to us, we want to give back to you.”
I jumped up and down, clapping wildly. And something occurred to me—I realized that I am a reunion tour junkie.
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In her video for “Countdown,” Beyonce has basically produced the most GIF-able tribute ever to Audrey Hepburn, Tina Turner, Jennifer Beals, Mary Quant and everyone in between. No, like, seriously. There are so many costume changes, herky-jerky shoulder thrusts, and fluttering eyelashes, I am almost dizzy. And I like it!
As a major TV addict, it’s been exciting over the past few years to watch actors you’d normally see on the big screen—the Zooey Deschanels, the Toni Collettes, and the Steve Buscemis—sign on for small screen projects. Now it seems like big name directors are starting to pay attention to the boob tube, too. If you’ve seen so much as a poster for “Terra Nova,” you are probably well aware that Steven Spielberg is the producer. And exciting news— the Coen Brothers, those glasses-wearing gods of indie cinema, are developing a series for Fox. The show is called “Harve Karbo,” and it’s about a Los Angeles private investigator with a wide network of deadbeat friends. And if their pedigree means anything, it’ll probably be pretty great. Here’s hoping this trend continues. I’d love to see television shows from Wes Anderson and Charlie Kaufman. Or maybe David Lynch would like to take another crack at it, now that it’s been a while since “Twin Peaks”? [Newser, Hollywood Reporter]
Just in time for Halloween, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” is out on DVD! The 4th installment of the franchise sees Johnny Depp’s wiley Captain Jack Sparrow leading a quest to find the Fountain of Youth in the Americas (as if Johnny Depp doesn’t get better with age). Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane and even more action than the previous films make this movie more than running around drunk at Disneyland. Check out the trailer!
This post was sponsored by “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.”
We love a good Lifetime movie as much as the next girl. No seriously, we’ve watched “Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?” more times collectively than we’d wish to confess. But we’re a little skeptical of a new flick that Lifetime has in the works called “Fame Monster: The Lady Gaga Story.” The network has put out a casting call looking for actresses “who can believably span ages of 16 to 22″ for the role. But will they really be able to find someone to walk in Gaga’s (Alexander McQueen Armadillo) shoes?
This information comes at the same time as news that Lady Gaga is apparently being courted to become the lead singer of Queen.
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