Educational television in the 80s and early 90s was undeniably awesome: I mean, we had LeVar Burton encouraging us to read, an astronaut teaching us how to draw, a Jack Russell Terrier acting out Don Quixote, and a variety of manic scientists conducting crazy experiments for our viewing pleasure. No wonder we turned out so charming and clever. Ready for a trip down memory lane? Here’s a roundup of our favorites and the important lessons they taught us. Feel free to add your own TV memories in the comments!
I may be over 30, but that doesn’t make me too old to hold out hope for a Daddy Warbucks style adoption, right? So what if I own the “Annie” commemorative plate series or can still quote dialogue from the film? “First the windows, then the floors … in case I drip.” Even I knew she wasn’t there to clean, but it was so endearing that she wanted to earn her keep. Though she was a poor orphan living in the depression, it seemed only natural to wish I were her. Especially after she becomes rich and gets to live in a mansion with an indoor pool and a turbaned body guard. “A child without courage is like a night without stars.” Words of wisdom from Punjab. I’ve been waiting for Aileen Quinn aka Annie to resurface. See what she looks like now after the jump. Keep reading »
“Toddlers & Tiaras” pageant mom Susanna Barrett is mad. She’s just sick and tired of the way the media sexualizes little girls, and she’s not going to take it anymore! In fact, she’s launched a $30 million lawsuit against the Huffington Post, TMZ, and The Daily Mail for “brazenly” trying to sexualize her daughter, Isabella Barrett.
Yeah, take that, wicked, over-sexed media people! This sexualizing of innocent 5-year-old girls has got to stop! Just because little Isabella was caught on video singing along to the song “I’m Sexy and I Know It,” with a microphone, with mommy sitting right next to her … wait, something is very wrong with this picture, and I don’t think it has anything to do with TMZ, HuffPo, or the Daily Mail. Read more…
“Any feminist out there who doesn’t support me gets a big boo because you’ve got one person out there who is advocating for women in Hollywood and you’re going to slag that person? If you’re a feminist, you should be up my butt. I have no idea if I’ve helped feminism or set it back, because people see me as such a polarizing figure. I hope it’s the former. But if I can’t even get feminists on my side, maybe I’m not helping.”
– Diablo Cody, who wrote “Young Adult,” is certainly sick of being criticized by feminists (and their at-times strange bedfellows, conservatives) for various crimes, like the fact that “Juno” didn’t involve an abortion, Diablo’s past career as a stripper, and plenty of other violations dictated by The Not Feminist Enough Police.
FWIW, I’m a feminist and I’m on your side, Diablo. [Guardian UK]
Look at the graphic above. Believe it or not, one of the ridiculous campaign promises above was actually uttered by a presidential candidate. Yes, Newt Gingrich actually claims that, if elected, he’ll get a moon colony going by the end of his second term. That’s right America: You could be barbecuing on the moon by 2020 if Newt has his way. Newt’s plan would allow for the moon colony to apply for statehood once a population of 13,000 had been achieved. So yes, he’s thought of everything.
“I will, as president, encourage the introduction of the ‘Northwest Ordinance’ for space to put a marker down that we want Americans to think boldly about the future, and we want Americans to go out and study hard and work hard and together we’re going to unleash the American people to build the country we love,” Gingrich said in Florida this week, rather not coincidentally in an area hard hit by the cancellation of the space program.
Candidates will say anything to get elected, am I right? So we dreamed up a few other wild zingers we thought the President and Newt’s fellow Republican candidates might say. Enjoy!
Today is not the best day. But it’s going to get better. That’s what I tell myself, and this clearly traumatized, but very cute, wet kitten. [Buzzfeed]