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37 Years Later, Carly Simon Finally Makes A Video For “You’re So Vain”

A little while back, it was rumored that Carly Simon’s 1973 hit “You’re So Vain” was actually about David Geffen. And here I was assuming all along that it was about every guy I’ve ever dated. Carly put all that energy into keeping the song’s “you” a secret that she forgot to make a music video. She talked about her oversight at a Tribeca Film Festival party, telling the crowd, “I never really thought about it until I was on the ‘Today’ show recently and had a 103-degree temperature. I was completely out of it, but I realized, why don’t I have a video for ‘You’re So Vain?’” Good question, Carly. We’ve been wondering the same thing for like … our whole lives. I guess Geffen and my narcissistic exes were all booked up, because Carly chose to have a competition to see who could make the best “You’re So Vain” video instead of making her own. The winning entry shows a Hasidic Jew searching for a pie. Huh? I don’t get it. Please explain. I guess we’ll have to wait until it hits YouTube to find out. [NY Post] Keep reading »

“Pretty Wild,” Pretty Stupid: Alexis Neiers May Not Go To Jail!

This week on “Pretty Wild,” our girl Alexis Neiers is brought to tears when her lawyer tells her she probably won’t go to jail for her alleged involvement in “the bling ring,” a group of Los Angeles teenagers who police say broke into celebrities’ homes to steal their money and clothes.

The legal eagle informs Alexis and her mom, Andrea Arlington, “If everything is as Alexis says it is, we may be able to make this go away for you.” (Ahh, lawyer-speak!) Alexis cries happy tears — but then her mother randomly starts yelling at her about what an ungrateful kid she is. Hey, I have to admit, it’s thrilling to see Mrs. Arlington at least try to discipline her daughter for once in her life. Keep reading »

Book Excerpt: How Marching Band Can Make A Feminist

What exactly does it take for a woman to embrace the idea of being a feminist? Two of our favorite writers, Courtney E. Martin (who wrote Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters) and J. Courtney Sullivan (the lady who brought us Commencement), have joined forces to answer this question. In their awesome new anthology Click: Young Women On The Moments They Knew They Were Feminists, the Courtneys have collected essays from 30 young, female writers. After the jump, read one of them—Colleen Clemens’ description of how marching band made her realize she was the f-word. Keep reading »

Beyonce’s “Why Don’t You Love Me” Video Preview: Why Won’t She Try Something New?

“Why Don’t You Love Me” – Sneak Peek from Beyonce on Vimeo.

Beyonce released a preview for her “Why Don’t You Love Me” video this weekend. The song is a bonus track on I Am … Sasha Fierce (Deluxe Version). It seems Bey enjoyed her Bettie Page look in the “Video Phone” video because she took another nostalgic turn as Rosie the Riveter. But this time Rosie has shed her factory uniform for Daisy Duke shorts, thigh-high stockings, and a midriff-baring shirt — you know, the same sexy garb we’re used to seeing Beyonce wear. From the preview, it looks as if this will be another video full of beauty shots of Beyonce’s heavily made-up face, butt, and boobs. Which is kind of disappointing because I think the concept of Rosie the Riveter as a homemaker doing the male and female chores could have been really entertaining — especially since the cinematography, lighting, and setting are so beautiful — instead of what I expect will be campy soft-core porn and a lot of mesmerizing gyration. Keep reading »

Little Girl Sings “The Distance,” Inspires Other To Go The Distance

Oh, how I pine for the days when I used to holler along to the music while riding in my car seat. Here, a 5-year-old girl belts it out like a banshee to the tune of Cake’s 1996 track “The Distance.” She’s got some serious singing skills — who knows, one day she could prove to be the next Britney. I like that she screams the song at the top of her lungs while rocking that little hair bow. Girls are awesome. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Trailer Park: “Furry Vengeance,” “Nightmare On Elm Street,” “Paper Man,” “The Human Centipede”

Sure it’s springtime, love is in the air and the birds are singing. But do you know what else is in the air? Pollen. And the bees are singing too … kinda. You might fall in love frolicking in the park, but you might also fall in love in a dark movie theater, sitting next to a handsome stranger who offers you his popcorn. If you’re going to take that route, this week’s movie releases are going to offer some really interesting post-movie conversation. To scare the crap out of yourself, go see “Nightmare on Elm Street,” or (shudder) “The Human Centipede (First Sequence).” If you’re carting kids or like watching animals be devious, catch “Furry Vengeance.” If you want to see Michael Caine kick some butt, there’s “Harry Brown,” and if you want to feast your eyes on Ryan Reynolds playing Jeff Daniels’ imaginary superhero, watch “Paper Man.” Keep reading »

Put Away Your Ouija Boards, The Magic 8-Ball Is Getting A Movie

The Magic 8-Ball can now tell all the other fortune-telling toys that made fun of it to go suck it, because 8-Ball is about to get its own movie. Paramount recently announced that as part of their continuing deal with toymaker Mattel, the all-knowing 8-Ball will be the next toy to get the Hollywood treatment. The studio was eager to continue to work with Mattel due to the success of the “Tranformers” and “G.I Joe” movies. I understand that the money brought in on hocking childhood memories is alluring, but why the 8-Ball next? The previous toy films featured playthings that had personality, things you were suppose to make believe are animate. The 8-Ball is just a kitschy piece of plastic and hasn’t really been given an identity outside of that. It has helped millions of people understand the legitimacy of their middle school crush, but it is hard to imagine a film just based on people trying to make out vague messages through squirmy blue liquid. The studio and those involved with the project have yet to unveil any details about the movie except that it will be a live action film and that a script is in the works.

I suppose the only place to go for more info about the film is the 8-Ball itself. I asked mine if the movie would be a success. Its response? “My sources say no.” Not very self-confident, eh? [Deadline New York] Keep reading »

Who Is Shallon Lester, Anyway?

Photoshop Fail: The Latest “Sex and the City” Movie Poster

Jezebel has gone to town pointing out the terrible Photoshop job on the newest “SATC 2″ movie poster. Starting with Kim Cattrall’s face, of course. [Jezebel] Keep reading »

Historical Tweets: What Famous People Throughout History Might Have Tweeted

Despite it’s total lack of profitability, Twitter has had a huge impact on society. Protests are organized in a matter of minutes, we get up-to-date coverage of major events, and perhaps most importantly, we now know the inner thoughts of our favorite celebrities. But what if Twitter had always existed? What if famous people throughout history had been able to update their status? Would history books be a lot shorter? Would our language have been dumbed down into indistinguishable acronyms? Well, Historicaltweets.com asked just that question … kinda. They take historical events, and write tweets to correspond with them. My favorites are Abraham Lincoln’s (@Honest Abe) tweets that include, “Anyone got a more creative way of saying ’87 years’” and “Gr8 show tonite. the Ford is the perfect venue for AAAAARRGH!!” I also kinda enjoyed Molly Brown’s (@M0llyBr0wn), “My drink’s STILL warm. what’s a girl gotta do to get some ice around here? #titanicfail” Of course, the site got a book deal for Historical Tweets: The Completely Unabridged and Ridiculously Brief History of The World, because that’s how it works even though people can totally read it on the internet. What historical figures would you want to follow? Keep reading »

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