Having been a fan of ”Breaking Upwards,” the heartbreaking debut film from co-writers/co-stars/cohabitators Daryl Wein and Zoe Lister-Jones, I couldn’t wait to see the couple’s follow up, ”Lola Versus.” Starring mumblecore goddess Greta Gerwig, ”Lola Versus” tells the story of a woman on the verge of 30 who’s left understandibly devastated after her fiance dumps her three weeks before the wedding. However, after salty food and casual sex doesn’t help fill the void, she must figure out how to move on with her life without sliding back into the arms of her self-centered ex.
In rom-coms such as this, it’s easy to pin the leading lady’s happiness on whether or not she ends up with a guy at the end of the film, which got me thinking: What if some of our most adored romantic comedies had ended up with different outcomes? More specifically, what would’ve happened if these “meet cute”-ies didn’t opt for the embrace of Prince Charming? From Vivian Ward in ”Pretty Woman” to Jamie Rellis in ”Friends With Benefits,” let’s spitball about what would’ve happened after the credits rolled if these leading ladies had chosen themselves over whatever handsome—but probably jerky—suitor.
Leslie Simon is the author of Geek Girls Unite: How Fangirls, Bookworms, Indie Chicks and Other Misfits Are Taking Over the World. Follow her musings on her blog and on Twitter.
The end of a romance usually begins with the first sly traces of resentment, jealousy or rage. For tortoise couple Bibi and Poldi, the end of their 115-year relationship began with a bite. According to their keepers at Austria’s Klagenfurt Zoo, the pair can no longer stand to be around one another, and have taken to biting and snapping at one another. Male tortoise Bibi attacked female Poldi several times — biting off a piece of her shell — before he was eventually moved to a separate enclosure. Animal experts attempted to reunite the pair by feeding them animal aphrodisiacs, but it didn’t work. “We have staff talking to and trying to engage the two in interacting, and we hope that they might find their harmony again,” says Zoo Chief Helga Happ. No luck yet, so maybe we’ve discovered that love is not forever — it’s actually for around 115 years. [The FW]
Bret Easton Ellis is the newest director being tossed into the ring to helm the Fifty Shades of Grey movie adaptation and he’s suggesting everyone’s favorite first love, Ryan Gosling, for the hard spanking, nipple clamping, domineering lead.
American Psycho and Rules of Attraction author, Ellis, is clearly no stranger to working with taboo subjects and is pitching his ideas to the studio to take the controversial and mega-successful movie on. He took to twitter to dig up some conversation over who should play the key romantic roles of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. To say a few people are interested is an understatement. Hollywood sees these as career making roles. Read more …
I was never really sure what it was about Selena Gomez that got Justin Bieber all in a tizzy. But it seems that maybe she’s kind of funny? Here she is starring alongside Nick Kroll in a funny parody of softcore S&M hit Fifty Shades of Grey entitled “Fifty Shades of Blue,” in which she falls for a disgusting painter named Carl Blue. [Funny Or Die]
Last night’s premiere of “True Blood” featured a little nod to another HBO show, “Game of Thrones.” Or that’s what I like to think this scene featuring vampire Eric Northam fucking his sister is supposed to be. Shit ain’t sexy anymore unless there’s a dose of incest, amiright? Warning: the clip above is NSFW, so watch it over and over and over again when no one is around, ‘kay?