Amy Poeher, comedy goddess that she is, can’t not say funny stuff at all times. During a recent talk at the 92nd Street Y, Poehler answered a few questions from Tumblr users, like “What makes Will Arnett cry?” and “What’s the first time you remember making people laugh?” Also, Poehler recommends we all make out to the new Usher song “Climax,” which she guarantees will be a future strlp club hit. No doubt.
There are so many myths about summer safety, it’s a wonder anyone has any fun. Heard that poison ivy is contagious? Not true. Scared of swallowing watermelon seeds? They’ll just pass through you. The Washington Post debunks a host of summer myths:
Mosquitoes love people who taste sweet? Nope—mosquitoes are more into your breath. They pursue the heat, carbon dioxide, and lactic acid in it, says a doctor. But it is true that you shouldn’t scratch your bites; that could cause an infection. Read more …
Uggie may have been unfairly denied an Academy Award nomination, but his legacy is cemented regardless. The furry star of “The Artist” has become the first dog to have his paws imprinted at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. I couldn’t decide which photo was the most adorable, so I downloaded a bunch. Enjoy — and congrats, Uggie! [Photos: WENN]
Dear Pigeon Who Relieved Itself On My Head,
My scalp is not your toilet! Do you have any idea what it’s like to have have some good morning mojo going, to be steps away from arriving to work ON TIME (I’m not a morning person) only to be shit on by a winged rat? It sucks. I was rounding the corner to my office building, listening to Astral Weeks by Van Morrison, trying to feel a vague sense of well-being and spiritual connectedness when you dropped your load on my head. I prayed that the warm mess in my hair was just a big raindrop. But it was not raining. I put my finger in it and my nightmare came true. I ran into the nearest deli with a shit smear on my finger. I rode the elevator with your pigeon-y poop on my hand. People looked at me. I’m sure they smelled me. Or should I say, YOU. Keep reading »
This place really exists, and you don’t have to go over the rainbow to find it. You just have to hop a plane to Hokkaido, Japan. Just slightly easier than getting knocked out by a tornado and having a vivid hallucination. This is a visual representation of what my inner landscape looked like before that pigeon pooped on my head. Now I am trying to get back to here. Surely, no pigeons live in the his purple place. [Reddit]
Oh, where to begin, where to begin? “Miss Advised,” Bravo’s new show about dating experts who don’t actually know anything about dating, started episode two with good news for unemployed dating columnist Julia Allison — she’s been “offered” a “job” “writing” for Elle! After working as a “journalist” for 10 years, this is her dream job! What luck! What’s not mentioned, of course, is that her “job” with Elle was arranged for her by Bravo. Duh, whatever, the arrangement is exposure for Elle so I can’t hate on anyone for pulling strings. Except that even a fake-ish gig is too much for Julia Allison to handle, who breaks down in tears after her totally cringe-worthy call with her new editor, who requested that she come up with some ideas for her column. The stress and fear that she might fail is too much. Why did her mom have to set such high expectations for success by being a speech writer for Nixon? Keep reading »