As always, the precious moments on last night’s episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” were bountiful. I was still a little distracted by the discovery that June is the same age as me. It’s going to take me a while to process that. Anyhow, the Boo Boos are showing no signs of slowing down. I sincerely hope you’ve been watching as it’s difficult for me not to talk about every single second of every episode. I want us to share ALL of them together, but, for the sake of brevity, I am forced to pick the most beautimous nuggets. Spoiler: Last night’s undisputed climax was the revealing of June’s FORKLIFT FOOT. Oh YES. After the jump, FORKLIFT FOOT and much, much more. Keep reading »
Isaiah Mustafa has moved onto to bigger and better things, meaning, he’s a new host on the Hulu show “The Morning After.” He doesn’t have time to get nekkid and make sexual innuendos for Old Spice anymore. But that’s just fine with me, considering they’ve recruited Terry Crews to impress the world with his muscle-activated music-playing. Muscles! WHAT? And I need to learn to play the flame sax ASAP.
This isn’t just an amazing advertisement, it’s an interactive one. You can use your keyboard to control Terry as he becomes your musical, muscle-flexing puppet. You can even record your own music. Somehow. It will probably take me the rest of the day to figure it out. I am challenged like that. If anyone figures it out, please share your musical masterpieces. Also, if you can figure out what this has to do with Old Spice, I would like to understand that as well. [Buzzfeed]
As we know from last week’s episode of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” (and the ensuing photographs floating around the interwebs), Chickadee pushed baby Kaitlin out of her biscuit. According to People, five-week-old Kaitlyn, born on July 26, has “four fingers and two thumbs on the right hand.”
In response to the rumors that June was mocking the baby’s birth defect, 33-year-old June says, “Not true. We have embraced [the abnormality]. It makes Kaitlyn more special to us.”
WAIT. Excuse me. June and I are the SAME AGE?! Holy shit. My brain just spontaneously combusted. Keep reading »
“Thrilled Ann Romney says [Modern Family] is her favorite show. We’ll offer her the role of officiant at Mitch & Cam’s wedding. As soon as it’s legal.”
–”Modern Family” creator Steve Levitan tweeted this response to Ann Romney after she told “Entertainment Tonight” that the sitcom was her favorite TV show. As you probably know, “Modern Family” features a gay couple, Mitch and Cam, who are in a committed relationship and raising an adopted daughter together, although federal law prohibits them from marrying. Meanwhile, Ann’s husband Mitt has promised to define marriage as between one man and one woman if he is elected president. [Us Weekly]
Chinese dude and definite Stevie Wonder fan Hu Seng wanted to show his girlfriend how much he loved her, so he mailed himself to her. The only problem? Hu Seng’s “package” got lost by the courier service he hired to deliver him, and he ended up spending way too long in his self-addressed cardboard box. When his girlfriend finally received the package, Hu Seng had passed out from lack of oxygen.
Seng spent three hours in the box. “I didn’t realize it would take so long,” he told the local news. “I tried to make a hole in the cardboard but it was too thick and I didn’t want to spoil the surprise by shouting.” Now that’s boyfriendly dedication.
This one time, my high school boyfriend showed up at my house and put himself in a large refrigerator box and “mailed himself” to my doorstep. It was cool, but he weird, and since I had already planned on spending the day shopping for gym clothes for P.E. class, I had no choice but to drag him along. Later, when we broke up, he wrote a fanzine about me that included my photo and address, and I occasionally got mail asking why I broke up with Todd. The ’90s were a weird time. [Daily Mail]
TLC is like my spirit animal cable channel, so my hopes were lofty for “Abby & Brittany,” the new show about 22-year-old identical, conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel. I saw TLC’s special about them way back when they were 16 and getting their driver’s license. Then, I saw some British special filmed when they were 19 and Brittany was believed to be engaged. I was hoping “Abby & Brittany” would be all about navigating one twin’s relationship. And maybe even HOW SEX WORKS FOR THEM. They have one vagina. So is it considered a threesome when Brittany has sex with her fiance? I need to know! Keep reading »