It appears that the good people at Maple Lodge Farms have come up with an incredible new offering. It’s a hot dog chocolate eclair — at once delicious and revolting. We’d love to eat it, if we weren’t also completely terrified by it. [Neatorama]
Zac Efron is going to film a new movie called “Are We Officially Dating?”, which could also be the title of a documentary about my dating life. (Pro tip: if you have to ask, the answer is usually “no.”)
That got me thinking about other dispatches from my romantic life that could be titles for movies. Keep reading »
On March 15 of this year, I wrote you a letter in reference to your commercial featuring Corn Dog Girl, wherein I raised many questions and concerns. Those questions still remain unanswered. But I am still hopeful for your response.
Onto the real reason I’m writing. In paragraph two of my March 15 query, I mentioned, in passing, my thoughts about your commercials featuring Shannen Doherty:
“I kind of got the one with Shannen Doherty. But not really. Is Shannen done being an actress? Or is she going to college to do research for a part? And why does her face look so strange? It doesn’t really look like she’s had work done. But there is something weird going on with her mouth, right?”
Keep reading »
The Frisky staff laughs at me like a bunch of hyenas whenever I bring up how much I love Matchbox Twenty, because sometimes The Frisky staff are a bunch of jerks like that. But I hardly care today because this week, the band released a new music video for the forthcoming album North and the song “Overjoyed,” is just the sweetest. I’ve been listening to it on repeat all morning. Take that, jerks! (J/K I love you guys.) [PopCrush]
When the late Tupac Shakur “appeared” via hologram at the Coachella festival, everyone ooh-ed and ahh-ed. It wasn’t the first time a dead celeb had resurfaced in hologram form (Celine Dion sang a duet with a hologram of Elvis Presley on “American Idol” in 2010) and it won’t be the last time, either (Simon Cowell wants holograms of Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson to appear on “X Factor”).
In fact, during this week’s Republican National Convention, a hologram of Ronald Reagan was rumored to make an appearance outside the convention center— but was then pooh-poohed because organizers supposedly didn’t want holographic Reagan upstaging Mitt Romney.
It’s just as well, in my opinion: bringing dead people “back to life” via hologram is kinda wrong. Keep reading »
I was recently contacted through my website by a pregnant black woman who inquired about hiring me to perform standup at her baby shower. She and her husband were diehard comedy fans, and thought it would be fun to have a comic perform for their guests.
“How did you find me?” I asked. “I Googled ‘Fat Black Female Comics’ and you were one of the women that popped up!” she answered. “Everyone knows that fat black women are the funniest comics alive!”
After I hung up the phone, I sat there for a moment trying to figure out if I should be offended or not. While I understand that she was trying to be complimentary, I’m not sure if I am flattered by someone thinking that I am automatically funny just because I am plus-sized and black. Then I thought about the $1,500 she offered to pay me to stand in the middle of her living room and crack jokes for 30 minutes, and I instantly felt better. Throughout my career, I’ve been paid much less to do far worse. There was plenty of time for me to be offended later, but for now it was time to get paid!
Comedy is hard work, no matter what you look like. The perception that fat black women have an edge up, purely because of the size of their bodies, diminishes the amount of hard work, discipline and creativity that it takes for us to create this art form known as comedy. Furthermore, I think it’s crazy that someone would assume that all fat black women are funny.
On the other hand, I get it. Keep reading »