Saturday

• “Second Hand Lions” on TBS at 9:10 a.m.
• “Australia” on HBO at 10:30 a.m.
• “Baking with Julia” on PBS at 12:00 p.m.

It’s the weekend before Thanksgiving, so as you’re preparing for the feast and practicing your competitive-eating game face, don’t forget that you need breaks for good behavior. Plus, if you eat a giant tub of popcorn, you might manage to stretch your belly as if you were consuming popping peanuts, which will allow you to hold more food than the portions you were planning on holding in your cheeks like a hamster. This week, get some humanity with “The Blind Side,” learn that we’re all aliens to someone in “Planet 51,” get your teen wolf heartthrob quota met with “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” and learn about Latin love with “Broken Embraces.”

This woman clearly has far, far too much time on her hands. Maybe she wants to come dust my apartment to feel like a productive member of society? Anyway, all I can say about this video is ... and you guys got on my case about ogling 17-year-old Taylor? [BuzzFeed]

Confession: my secret dream has always been to be a dancer. Harsh reality: I am a hot, awkward mess on the dance floor. Back in the day, I used to be the wallflower at the party watching other people get down … until one fateful night when, with the help of a little liquid courage, I got the nerve to cut loose and try some moves I had seen online. And I discovered a new way to tear it up—to rock the worst dance moves possible. Yes, I became the best-worst dancer at every party and received all the negative-positive attention so rightly owed to me. Who do I have to thank for the revelation? Soulja Boy, who taught me how to crank the “Superman.” Bonus points if you know what it means to “Superman that ho.” Thank you for your fine lyrics and hot moves, Soulja! But a dancer has to keep her moves fresh. That’s why I’m always cruisin’ the web for the newest dance craze that will help me keep my skillz sharp and ready for any dance-off in da club. After the jump, my fave internet dance crazes.

Did you watch last night’s season finale of “Project Runway”? Yeah, I didn’t think so. I’ve been putting off writing about it all day because, well, it was kind of boring. With Carol Hannah, Althea, and Irina competing, it seemed pretty clear that too-cool-for-school Irina was going to take the crown, despite maybe having knocked off her T-shirt from New York Magazine The preview for the episode tried to make it sound interesting by amping up a minor freak-out moment that Tim Gunn had backstage, worrying why everyone wasn’t lined up to get the show started on time. Carol Hannah dealt with her stomach bug. Irina half-accused Althea of stealing one of her ideas. Althea rolled her eyes. As the three women showed their collections, there were definitely some nice things, but, honestly, the only real highlight was seeing Jaslene from “America’s Next Top Model” stomping her bad self down the runway. In the end, Irina won. And it was touching seeing her Eastern European dad, who she’s said multiple times doesn’t think that a woman can make it as a fashion designer, get teary over her success. But all I can say is, I hope next season they figure out how to wake this sleepy series up.

According to our buddies over at Cracked, some chick flicks secretly hate women. Who’d've thunk it? After reading the list, we’d have to agree. Some movies for ladies really do appear to think less of women than you’d think. Take, for example, “Twilight.” Edward is a killer, and Bella ... doesn’t really care? When Edward says he’d like to suck Bella’s blood, Bella replies: “I trust you.” Cracked’s Erica Cantin asserts: “Any girl with the self-esteem of a shoe would call it a day right there.” Find out the other anti-women chick flicks here. [Cracked]

I have never in my life heard as much squealing as I did during last night’s midnight showing of “New Moon.” While I thought that perhaps some Twihards old enough to legally drink would come out for the first showing, as I arrived at the theater with my posse of eight, circa 9 p.m., we instantly felt a little old joining the line of mostly 18-to-20-year-olds. Almost everyone in front of us wore a Twilight-themed shirt—most of them handmade—with slogans like “Bite Me, Edward” and “Taylor, Can I Feel Your Abs?” Others had dribbled fake blood by their lips or painted red dots on their neck, and one especially enterprising young woman came dressed as one of the Volturi, complete with a cape. At 10 p.m., the theater ushers finally let us all into the theater. And approximately every 15 minutes afterwards, someone would shout, “An hour and a half until ‘New Moon,’” or “Just 20 minutes left,” to thunderous applause and whooping. I won’t lie—there was an in-theater wave. And when the house lights finally went down, I think I heard tears coming from the girl sitting beside me. Soon after, the trailer for “Remember Me” came on, and the whole theater lost it. But, surprisingly, it was Taylor Lautner‘s first appearance on screen that got the biggest hoots and hollers of the evening.

But enough of the play-by-play. After the jump, my favorite overheard quotes of the night.

When I read an essay on Double X by Willa Paskin called “General Hospital Is The Most Violent Show On Television,” I got a little sad. “General Hospital” is my show! Or at least it was, until I stopped watching regularly a few years ago, after 15+ years of dedicated viewership. The news that James Franco, celebrated thespian, would be appearing as a thug on the show has made deep thinkers and film aficionados suddenly take notice of the long-running soap. But Paskin did a truly fabulous job of summing up the appeal of “General Hospital”—the reasons why a serious actor like Franco might want to appear on it—and I felt jealous that I hadn’t written it myself.

Yesterday, Oprah’s people announced the big O will be leaving her talk show. No need to get out the smelling salts, though. Her last show isn’t until 2011. Of course, it’s never too early to find a replacement. Who should be the next Oprah? Check out the top six contenders for the Oprah crown. [PopEater]

Want to hear an effective marketing strategy? Premiere the trailer for a movie starring Robert Pattinson as a lovesick college student the day “New Moon” comes out. He may not sparkle in this one, but his role in “Remember Me” certainly continues his theme of playing soulful, poetry-reciting, brooding dudes. And aside from the whole quirky-girl-eats-dessert-before-dinner bit, this one looks kind of good. Will you go see “Remember Me”?

It’s not often that, before a movie has even opened, thousands and thousands of people have already bought their tickets. But MovieTickets.com says that “New Moon” has broken all their records—it’s earned the number one spot on the company’s list of the top 10 advance ticket sellers of all time, shooting the record held by “Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith” for five out of the water. Ditto for Fandango. They say that almost half of advance ticket buyers are under the age of 24, and that 87 percent of them are women. [EW]

In honor of the release of “New Moon,” here’s a look at the 10 best vampire movies and TV shows of all time, which you should see immediately. You know, since “New Moon” is sold out, for the next few days anyway.

• Lady Gaga, four years ago performing at NYU under her birth name and in her bare feet, stuns the judges with talent. They loved how she can “blow, sing, and tickle the keys.” [NYU Local]—Love it.
• A New York bride sued her wedding photographer for posting semi-nude pictures of her on his professional website after she explicitly told him not to photograph her while she denuded. [Gothamist]—Strange. And I’m happy my photographer was awesome.
• The maid café trend in Japan is here to stay and competition is really fierce for the 217 eateries, where things keep getting crazier and crazier. [CNNGo]

I’m pretty fascinated by this article in Details about die-hard “Twilight” fans in their 30s and 40s who are visiting Forks, Washington, for a “Twilight” convention. I used to think these so-called “Twimoms” were absolutely nuts, but now I just sort of feel bad for them. The women admit that they are in loveless, boring marriages and that for them, “Twilight”—specifically Edward—is an escape from the drone of daily life. Most of them drool over this made-up character because they think he’s the closest to an expressive, passionate man they can get. But that doesn’t mean these women aren’t uber weird. After the jump, a few of their strangest habits ...

“True Blood” is about to get even sexier next season. I know, how is that possible? “There’s a lot of nudity,” Alexander Skarsgard (aka Vampire Eric) told RadarOnline.com. “As far as Eric goes, there’s going to be a lot violence and a lot of sex—with women and men! So it should be interesting.” Um, we’re going to get some guy-on-guy action? For those of us who like a little gay porn—not to mention the delectable blood-sucking sexiness of Skarsgard—this sounds tasty. [RadarOnline.com]

And there she is, folks. The winner of “America’s Next Top Model” cycle 13, aka, the shorty season. In last night’s episode, red-headed space case Nicole—who, uh, loves motorcycles and thrill-seeking?—beat out sweet-as-humble-pie Laura, the bull-castrater from Kentucky. Far too many times in this season, Tyra declared that something was happening, “for the first time in ‘Top Model’ history,” as if that were eons and eons. The twist for the finale—instead of three girls doing the Cover Girl photo shoot and commercial, only two made it through to the last episode. I would have questioned this decision since it doesn’t lend itself to maximum drama, except that these were actually my two favorite girls from the season—Nicole, amusing since she perpetually seemed like she had taken too much ritalin, and Laura, adorable showing up to judging in clothes sewed by her grandma.