There he is. Your eyes meet. The butterflies in your stomach are loud enough for the entire room to hear. Your palms moisten and your palpitating heart seems to want to beat out of your chest. You muster up the courage to walk to him, but someone has you beat.
Think quick. You make a detour to the bathroom, as to not draw too much attention to yourself. Who was that girl? It doesn’t matter anyway, right? The two of you only casually hookup.
Friends with benefits, hooking up, whatever you decide to call it — gets messy. Sure, you get the “buddy and the boo,” but tippy toeing around those invisible boundaries of “Am I wrong for feeling this way?” gets old. A casual relationship doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a clear division of what you’re willing to accept. Read more at College Candy…
Whether Stephanie Smith and her attempt to earn an engagement ring by making her boyfriend Eric 300 sandwiches and blogging about it annoyed you or not, you won’t be able to help but enjoy one woman’s reaction to the project. Freelance writer Stacy Brook, responded Smith’s joke, which apparently went over our heads, with a spoof blog, Ordering 300 Sandwiches, described as her “attempt to win a man’s heart, while expending as little effort as possible.”
Already on sandwich #18 for “J,” her creations like “The Shitty Bacon, Egg and Cheese on a Roll,” (“Today I ordered J a scrambled egg and cheese with bacon on a roll from the local deli. The sandwich was delivered two hours late, and without the promised bacon. Upon this discovery, I looked at J and said, ‘You better get used to disappointment. You’re 299 sandwiches away from a lifetime’s worth.’”) and “Half a Bag of Milano Cookies” (“I bought them, J ate them, and if the Italians are calling them ‘sandwiches,’ as far as I’m concerned, they count.”) are much more within my culinary and romantic comfort zone. Keep reading »
This HuffPost Live interview with Romeo Rose —the guy behind “Sleepless In Austin,” a blog offering money to someone who can introduce him to a woman who fits his absurd list of racist, slut-shaming requirements — doesn’t just have me wondering why this one person is sucking up so much media attention with his opinions on why he doesn’t want “a fat woman” and “the skin color of black is not pretty.” I’m also starting to feel uncomfortable that there’s actually something wrong with him … like Kony 2012 Jason Russell naked-public-meltdown wrong with him. I’m not totally sure Romeo Rose, vile and offensive as he is, is self-aware enough to realize he’s the joke here. He seems utterly sincere in this interview — which, by the way, is filled with racist, offensive shit towards the end and NSFW — in a way that’s, frankly, sad. Watching this trainwreck is starting to feel Hugo Schwyzer-esque. The interviewer, Caitlyn Becker, composed herself pretty well during this, but I’m inclined to think Romeo Rose’s next conversation should be with some good doctors. [Huffington Post]
Everything I’m about to write must be prefaced by one caveat: falling in love is out of your control. That includes when it will happen, where it will happen and who it will happen with. Although some relationship experts or self-help books would like you to believe otherwise, that’s the honest truth. You cannot control love. I’ll give you a few minutes — or a few decades– to let that sink in. When I was single that was the hardest part for me to accept. I’m a do-er. So not being able to do anything about this life event that felt very important made me feel utterly useless. Which in turn, made me feel depressed.
To put the whole “falling in love” thing in perspective, I think it only happens truly, madly, deeply once or twice in a lifetime if you’re lucky. Some people are of the belief that there is not a lid for every pot. I’m more of the belief that some of us choose to be alone. And there’s not a thing wrong with that either. So, what do you have control over in all of this? You. I’ll repeat it, there is nothing you can do to make love happen. But there are certain ways of being that are more conducive to falling in love, if that’s what you choose. Here are a few easier-said-than-done things you can do to prepare for the romance you hope to have someday: Keep reading »
Let me start off by responding to those of you who thought I might be taking the New York Post profile about Stephanie Smith’s 300Sandwiches blog too seriously. I have no problem with sandwiches — in fact, Smith’s blondie ice cream thing is making me drool as we speak. I have no problem with her, actually. Smith seems like a very nice person. And her boyfriend Eric, though not even in the ball park of an Alexander Skarsgård look-alike, is probably a nice enough human being too. Although I did find his advice to woman about “how to keep a man happy” irritating.
What I think gave me the squickees about the story was twofold: 1) I hate the perpetuation of the idea that women in their 30s should be desperate or hustling for engagement/marriage/babies. Knowing that it took Smith 176 sandwiches to realize this was a misguided approach to her love life bothers me. We need to read about that for 176 sandwiches … why? And for the record, I still do think it’s weird that Eric made a “joke” about her being 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring. Any joke that references “earning marriage” just doesn’t make me LOL. But maybe that’s just me. 2) This whole project reeks of a gimmick to get a book deal. Blog to book adaptations al a “40 Days Of Dating” are hot with publishers and producers and I’d be willing to place a healthy wager on the fact that this is Smith’s goal, even though she claims it is not in the follow up piece she published in the NY Post today. Hey, it pays to be a staff writer. I should know. This is my follow up piece. Keep reading »
This week on Date-Ade – a stream of consciousness advice series for stressed daters — Sophia wants to know how to handle a man who warns her not to fall in love with him.
If you have a sex, dating or relationship dilemma that you’d like for me to try to illuminate (no promises), send your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.
If Z100 announces it’s “an emerging trend,” you know it’s time to run out and throw yourself a fake bachelorette party. At least that’s what single 20-something blogger Bonnie Gleicher and her group of girlfriends did. It’s unclear as to why fake bachelorette showers are suddenly a thing — why would anyone want to wear penis hats in public unless they absolutely HAD to? — but in Gleicher’s case, she and her friends chose to parade around NYC’s West Village in tiaras and garter belts, taking turns pretending to be the bide-to-be, to answer one question: How desirable is unavailable? The results of her social experiment were really interesting and also kind of sad. Keep reading »
What I didn’t tell you last week was that I was dating someone.
He was a 25-year-old who recently returned from Europe where he lived as an expat for almost a year, met a girl, fell in love, then got his heart broken before he returned. I asked him multiple times if he was ready to date again. Each time I asked, he assured me he was totally ready to move on. We only went out a few times, but those instances were enough to feel a connection. Conversation was easy, the attraction was certainly there and I felt like I could be myself with him.
His only obvious pitfall was that he wore skinny jeans — a style he adopted during his stint in Europe. While I love to admire the male physique, I feel there are some fashions that are better suited for female humans. Besides, I felt like the tight pants distracted from his gorgeous hazel eyes and rugby player good looks.
Crotch-hugging pants aside, I was really excited about Skinny Jeans and the possibility that there might be something there. At least until he called me up and told me he was having money problems and wasn’t sure he could “give me what I deserved.” Then two days later he changed his tune telling me he wasn’t over his ex and couldn’t continue to pursue something with me because he “didn’t realize he wasn’t emotionally over his last relationship.” Typical. I have no idea if he was being honest about his feelings or just politely brushing me off, but I’m not about to date someone who’s clearly not over his ex.
My mom listened sympathetically as I recounted the sordid tale of Skinny Jeans and then gave me the same piece of advice she always does: “You need to date someone older.” Keep reading »
In a world where everyone celebrates engagements, weddings, anniversaries and other relationship-centered milestones, the private lives of those who are not married or in a relationship are often pushed to the wayside. Not this time — it’s National Singles Week. Also known as Unmarried and Single Americans Week, this holiday was started in the 1980s by the Buckeye Singles Council in Ohio. It’s meant to commemorate single individuals and celebrate their contributions to society because, hey, we matter too!
In honor of National Singles Week, read on to discover important lessons and tips from singles to help you live your best single life. Read more at Your Tango…
“As women glide from their twenties to thirties, Shazzer argues, the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fears of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.” – Bridget Jones’ Diary, Helen Fielding
Right now, I am single by choice. I am focusing on other things besides dating — my career, my health, learning how to get through life without the support of a partner. I am settling into the idea of living alone after exiting a string of long-term relationships and one short-term situation that ended because I found myself with someone out of the panicky fear that unless I made this relationship work, I would die alone. We live in a time where great anxiety builds over which toppings to choose for your chopped salad. The glut of choice, which seems like it surrounds every decision, is amplified when applied to relationships. Right now, being alone feels like the simplest/hardest choice I can make. Keep reading »