Tag Archives: dating

Dater X: An Ex Returns To Stir The Pot

Dater X: An Ex Returns To Stir The Pot

Update: Baby Face and I are moving full steam ahead, getting together as often as possible and still having amazing sex (with only a brief hiatus during Aunt Flo’s visit), which is why it’s so typical that one of my exes resurfaced— looking all handsome like he popped right out of a J.Crew catalogue— and tried his absolute damnedest to lure me back in. And he almost — almost — had me. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: He Doesn’t “See Color”

Dealbreaker: He Doesn't "See Color"

The saying goes if you can make it in New York City, you can make it anywhere: Dating is too often a joke, the job market is highly competitive, the rent is too high, and a simple task of doing your laundry can end up in a mile walk through snow just to get to the nearest laundry service — and after all your hard work? You get rewarded by having all your underwear stolen. Not having laundry in your overpriced pad is a popular dealbreaker amongst us renters in the city. A well-paying job in New Jersey is a popular dealbreaker amongst job-seekers living in NYC.  In a city with a ratio of 57 percent women and 43 percent men, us single ladies have had to hang up a lot of dating dealbreakers that would previously have had us running for the hills. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Three Tinder Strategies To Consider

Dating Don’ts: Three Tinder Strategies To Consider
Dating Don'ts: Tinder No-Nos
Dating Don'ts: 9 Tinder Profiles That Made Me Swipe Left
These types of Tinder profiles make women want to swipe left. Read More »

Tinder is pretty basic, and at this point, everyone knows the drill. Swipe right if you like what you see, swipe left if you don’t. Message people at your leisure, while spending a lot of time dodging dicey messages from dudes you probably don’t want to talk to. Easy enough, but maybe your Tinder strategy isn’t really netting the kind of dudes you want. Maybe you’re too picky, swiping left on mostly everybody you see. Maybe you amass matches, collecting them like so many back issues of The New Yorker, recoiling in horror every time one of them messages you. Maybe Tinder paralyzes you with fear, only because you’re just not comfortable with meeting someone through what is basically an app for hand jobs and one night stands. Whatever. We all have our things. But, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. Change your game, and maybe Tinder won’t be such a slog. Here are some Tinder strategies you might not be using. Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “I Feel Like My Chances Of Finding Love Are Hopeless”

Make It Stop: "I Feel Like My Chances Of Finding Love Are Hopeless"

I’m 31 years old and I’ve never been in relationship, nor have I ever been in love.  I look at couples — married, cohabiting, dating — and I’m so envious of their ability to open up and create something with another person. Sometimes I feel like I’m too broken to even be considered by the universe to find love. I’ve never suffered any emotional or mental trauma that would provoke these thoughts, but I wonder if it’s self-preservation. I feel as though I’ve put myself out there, but each time I’m unsuccessful. Any advice for someone feeling a little hopeless?

The bad news: your attitude need an adjustment. The good news: adjusting your attitude is free! Instead of telling yourself that you’re a failure, correct that narrative in your head and say that you just haven’t found the right person yet, which is totally okay and super normal. Keep reading »

Dater XY: The Post-Sex Guilt Date

Dater XY: The Post-Sex Guilt Date

A woman I’ll call The Chewer (it’ll make sense soon) and I first messaged each other shortly after things ended with The Teacher over a two months ago. We hit it off as she was about to relocate to my town, and had attended the same university. We decided to meet for drinks after she finally moved up and got settled in. Before we got to that point though, I started going out with a few other women and wanted to see where these potential relationships went. I messaged The Chewer and she thanked me for my honesty and I went about my way.

As it turned out, most of these dates were ho-hum and never amounted to much of anything. I did briefly hit it off with The Marathoner but that ended as quickly as it started. So, my schedule suddenly freed up, I decided to message The Chewer to see if she was still interested in getting a drink. She was so we planned to meet after work two weeks ago (shortly before I went out with The Lawyer). Keep reading »

Dater X: “Can I Ask You A Serious Question?”

Dater X: "Can I Ask You A Serious Question?"

Life is full of surprises: maybe you get pregnant without trying, win the lottery, find faith or cheat death. Other times, it’s the small, simple unexpectancies (I’m aware that “unexpectancies” isn’t a real word, but it should be) that make all the difference. Over the last few weeks, Baby Face has been my pleasant “unexpectancy.”

Having reconnected after five (or is it six?) years without a trace of contact, Baby Face and I have been spending a lot of time catching up, becoming reacquainted and starting back at square one. A lot has changed since our reckless beer-funneling college days, and not just because we’ve graduated to fancy craft beer and real glassware. Back in the day, Baby Face and I were friends, but we were never confess-your-deepest-secrets, share-your-embarrassing-stories kinds of friends. Last week, I was able to see Baby Face twice—once for lunch in the city and once for dinner and drinks at my place, where we were able to really talk and get to know each other, sweatpants on, makeup off and all. Keep reading »

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