We’re more than a decade into the 21st century. I’d hoped — in vain — that some basic understandings of how non-Black people should interact with Black people could be something I could take for granted. But no. Somehow there are “those people” who remain entirely clueless, so much so that they will call a 9-year old the c-word, or paint a white model bronze-Black, or not even, as so-called, journalists, bother to learn the pronunciation of an Oscar nominee’s name. This is unacceptable.
Recently, I read the comments section of a post on Clutch where a male reader was baffled as how to initiate a conversation with Black women and asked for some rules. Several helpful women obliged. In the same spirit of combating ignorance, I offer rules for non-Black people to engage Black women without causing offense. If you can manage NOT to do the following, you can probably come across as a decent human being.
Humbly, I submit a basic list, my rules of engagement, and ask you NOT to do the following (and encourage Black women to add to the list in the comments)… Keep reading »
This weekend while I was visiting my parents, my mom asked me: “Are you over the last one yet?” I rolled my eyes without answering, because that’s how I do. But I appreciated how she didn’t use his name. Like he was some shadow that slipped into my life and vanished when the sun came out. Well played, mom. But considering her question … YES, I am over the last one! Dating hiatus over. Resuming online dating. Yee haw! (Maybe I’m playing up my enthusiasm just a tad in the name of optimism.)
Within hours of reactivating my profile, my Yee haw was more like Yeek. I had almost forgotten. So many men making so many mistakes. Do they not know or do they not care? Embracing the spirit of optimism, I’m going to assume they don’t know. God, I hope they don’t know, otherwise, I’m frightened for myself. Below, another installment of mistakes to avoid online, guys, provided you actually want to score dates. Keep reading »
Facebook abuse is rampant! We all know at least one person whose status updates never cease to annoy or bewilder. Or how about that chick who is constantly inviting you to engage in a mafia war? And seriously, I am thisclose to defriending a friend from junior high who insists on tagging photos of me in braces. But Facebook abusers aren’t just hurting the innocent — they’re also seriously ruining their own dating game. Check out the 10 biggest dating mistakes people make on Facebook. Keep reading »
It’s come to my attention that we need to talk about commitment and what it means. When my ex and I broke up, one of his main concerns was commitment. Namely, he didn’t want to make one because he was too afraid to break it. He felt like he would be “holding me back” or “making promises he had no idea if he could keep.” The kind of commitment I was envisioning was the commitment to continue to get to know each other and see where things went, not the commitment to get married and start making babies. I never even mentioned that, but in his head, I that’s what I was asking for. He was divorced, so I understand that this notion of commitment took on a certain complexity for him.But here’s the thing: what he was saying was hardly original. I’ve heard a variation on this theme from so many men I’ve dated. Divorced or not. In talking to my friends, I understand that I am not alone. Most women — and some men — I know have heard it too. Keep reading »
UK TV and cruising for dates at the airport? Sounds like a perfect match to me. On Valentine’s Day, Air New Zealand hosted a live airport dating show at London Heathrow Airport. In “Blind Gate,” singles competed to win a romantic weekend in Los Angeles via Air New Zealand’s Cuddle Class Economy Skycouch seats. I realize that this was a one-time publicity stunt to promote Air New Zealand’s London to LA flight, but I think they stumbled onto dating show gold. This needs to be a regular series. Keep reading »
According to Christian Rudder, the co-founder of online dating site OK Cupid, women’s perception of “attractiveness” is way more warped then that of the men. In an interview following his recent TED talk about OK Cupid’s dating algorithm,Rudder revealed some stats about the “Quick Match” section of the site. For those of you who haven’t been on OK Cupid, you can click on “Quick Match” and scroll through pictures, giving attractiveness ratings of 1 to 5. For those of you who have been on the site, you more likely refer to it as “that game you play when you’re bored of watching TV.”
According to the TED blog, when Rudder showed a graph of the ratings men give to women, there was a normal distribution with fewer women falling in the 1 and 5 range and the majority rating somewhere in the middle. But when it came to women “Quick Matching” men, the graph skewed toward the unattractive side. Apparently, we rate lots of men a 1 and hardly any a 4 or 5. “A 3.8 for a guy is basically Hollywood material,” Rudder joked. Keep reading »
If your Facebook friends list is anywhere near as accurate as your actual friends list, chances are, you know a lot of people in relationships. Some of those relationships are good, but often, they are twisted, bizarre bent up pieces of metal soldered together with tears and awkward sex.
This is about those relationships. Following, we have 16 types of couples you’re probably friends with — or have at one time been a part of yourself. Keep reading »
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to romancing the man or woman of your dreams. Each heart is a snowflake, unique in it’s design. Or something like that. This Valentine’s Day, consider the heart you wish to win, understand its desires and woo accordingly. May we suggest one of these romantic gestures, perfect for the special Juggalo or Trekkie in your life…