Tag Archives: dating

10 Things Every Non-Black Person Should Know (By Now) About Black Women

On Interracial Dating
Madame Noire and The Frisky discuss interracial dating. Read More »
Lisa's Racist Tweet
Her schtick abuses the art of comedy. Read More »
On The N-Word
Madame Noire asks why some white people want to say the n-word so bad. Read More »

We’re more than a decade into the 21st century. I’d hoped — in vain — that some basic understandings of how non-Black people should interact with Black people could be something I could take for granted. But no. Somehow there are “those people” who remain entirely clueless, so much so that they will call a 9-year old the c-word, or paint a white model bronze-Black, or not even, as so-called, journalists, bother to learn the pronunciation of an Oscar nominee’s name. This is unacceptable.

Recently, I read the comments section of a post on Clutch where a male reader was baffled as how to initiate a conversation with Black women and asked for some rules. Several helpful women obliged. In the same spirit of combating ignorance, I offer rules for non-Black people to engage Black women without causing offense. If you can manage NOT to do the following, you can probably come across as a decent human being.

Humbly, I submit a basic list, my rules of engagement, and ask you NOT to do the following (and encourage Black women to add to the list in the comments)… Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Consent Isn’t As Simple As “No Means No”

Guy Talk: Sex
no sex
Men don't want to have sex all the time. Read More »
Straight Guy, Trans Rights
Dan on why a straight guy like him cares about transgender rights. Read More »
Guy Talk: Friendzone
What guys need to know about the friendzone. Read More »

Back in my 20s, I used to party quite a bit, sometimes to ridiculous excess. Drunkenness was rampant, and so were the accompanying shenanigans.

Once, a large group of us took a limo bus downtown for a coworker’s birthday. On the bus was a girl I recognized from work, but had never met. We ended up chatting sporadically throughout the night. But since we were constantly moving around, our exchanges never lasted more than a few minutes at a time.

By the end of the night, she and I were probably the only two people still coherent enough to carry on a conversation. Back at the birthday girl’s apartment, everyone else having either passed out or stumbled home, we found ourselves sitting next to each other on the couch.

There had been a tiny sliver of flirtation between us, but mostly, it had just been idle chatter up to that point. To be honest, I hadn’t noticed any indication that she was the least bit interested in me. Then again, I hadn’t telegraphed any interest in her, either. But that was because I hadn’t been interested in her. Not until that moment, anyway. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 5 (More) Things Guys Need To Stop Doing If They Want To Have Better Luck Online

Online Dating Don'ts
Guys need to stop doing these things online. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Commitment
Let's talk about the "C" word. Read More »
FB Dating Mistakes
When dating and Facebook don't mix. Read More »

This weekend while I was visiting my parents, my mom asked me: “Are you over the last one yet?” I rolled my eyes without answering, because that’s how I do. But I appreciated how she didn’t use his name. Like he was some shadow that slipped into my life and vanished when the sun came out. Well played, mom. But considering her question … YES, I am over the last one! Dating hiatus over. Resuming online dating. Yee haw! (Maybe I’m playing up my enthusiasm just a tad in the name of optimism.)

Within hours of reactivating my profile, my Yee haw was more like Yeek. I had almost forgotten. So many men making so many mistakes. Do they not know or do they not care? Embracing the spirit of optimism, I’m going to assume they don’t know. God, I hope they don’t know, otherwise, I’m frightened for myself. Below, another installment of mistakes to avoid online, guys, provided you actually want to score dates. Keep reading »

The 10 Biggest Dating Mistakes People Make On Facebook

FB Friends To Keep
Because they're so fun to stalk! Read More »
Facebook Turn-Offs
These Facebook behaviors turn him off. Read More »
FB Friend Dealbreakers
These infractions will get you unfriended. Read More »

Facebook abuse is rampant! We all know at least one person whose status updates never cease to annoy or bewilder. Or how about that chick who is constantly inviting you to engage in a mafia war? And seriously, I am thisclose to defriending a friend from junior high who insists on tagging photos of me in braces. But Facebook abusers aren’t just hurting the innocent — they’re also seriously ruining their own dating game. Check out the 10 biggest dating mistakes people make on Facebook. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Let’s Talk About Commitment

Dating Don'ts: VDay
Valentine's Day is not an excuse! Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Rituals
Pre-date rituals that can go terribly wrong. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Disclosure
dating donts divorce
What are you obligated to disclose on your online dating profile? Read More »

It’s come to my attention that we need to talk about commitment and what it means. When my ex and I broke up, one of his main concerns was commitment. Namely, he didn’t want to make one because he was too afraid to break it. He felt like he would be “holding me back” or “making promises he had no idea if he could keep.” The kind of commitment I was envisioning was the commitment to continue to get to know each other and see where things went, not the commitment to get married and start making babies. I never even mentioned that, but in his head, I that’s what I was asking for. He was divorced, so I understand that this notion of commitment took on a certain complexity for him.But here’s the thing: what he was saying was hardly original. I’ve heard a variation on this theme from so many men I’ve dated. Divorced or not. In talking to my friends, I understand that I am not alone. Most women — and some men — I know have heard it too. Keep reading »

“Blind Gate” Is The Live Airport Dating Show I’ve Been Waiting For All My Life

Crazy Blind Dates
Would you let OKCupid set you up on a "Crazy Blind Date"? Read More »

UK TV and cruising for dates at the airport? Sounds like a perfect match to me. On Valentine’s Day, Air New Zealand hosted a live airport dating show at London Heathrow Airport. In “Blind Gate,” singles competed to win a romantic weekend in Los Angeles via Air New Zealand’s Cuddle Class Economy Skycouch seats. I realize that this was a one-time publicity stunt to promote Air New Zealand’s London to LA flight, but I think they stumbled onto dating show gold. This needs to be a regular series. Keep reading »

The Women Of OK Cupid Are More Superficial Than The Men

Online Dating Don'ts
Guys need to stop doing these things online. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Disclosure
dating donts divorce
What are you obligated to disclose on your online dating profile? Read More »

According to Christian Rudder, the co-founder of online dating site OK Cupid, women’s perception of “attractiveness” is way more warped then that of the men. In an interview following his recent TED talk about OK Cupid’s dating algorithm,Rudder revealed some stats about the “Quick Match” section of the site. For those of you who haven’t been on OK Cupid, you can click on “Quick Match” and scroll through pictures, giving attractiveness ratings of 1 to 5. For those of you who have been on the site, you more likely refer to it as “that game you play when you’re bored of watching TV.”

According to the TED blog, when Rudder showed a graph of the ratings men give to women, there was a normal distribution with fewer women falling in the 1 and 5 range and the majority rating somewhere in the middle. But when it came to women “Quick Matching” men, the graph skewed toward the unattractive side. Apparently, we rate lots of men a 1 and hardly any a 4 or 5. “A 3.8 for a guy is basically Hollywood material,” Rudder joked. Keep reading »

Yes, You Can “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind” Your Ex

Putting A Spell On Your Ex?
It doesn't work. Read More »
Social Media & Breakups
How to survive social media, post-breakup. Read More »

Remember the Jim Carrey/Kate Winslet movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”? How many times have we all wished we could totally erase our exes, right? Well, thanks to the app Killswitch, you actually can, at least virtually. Killswitch does all the annoying ex-erasing work for you. Users simply pick the offending ex from their Facebook friends list, and Killswitch does the rest — untagging them from photos and removing all mention of them from your status updates forever. Or until you get back together — whichever comes first.

16 Couples Everybody’s Friends With — Whether They Like It Or Not

Do All Couples Argue?
couple fighting arguing photo
If a couple says they never argue, they're probably lying. Read More »
FB Friend Dealbreakers
These Facebook infractions will get you unfriended. Read More »
Facebook Turn-Offs
These Facebook behaviors turn him off. Read More »

If your Facebook friends list is anywhere near as accurate as your actual friends list, chances are, you know a lot of people in relationships. Some of those relationships are good, but often, they are twisted, bizarre bent up pieces of metal soldered together with tears and awkward sex.

This is about those relationships. Following, we have 16 types of couples you’re probably friends with — or have at one time been a part of yourself. Keep reading »

How To Woo A…

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to romancing the man or woman of your dreams. Each heart is a snowflake, unique in it’s design. Or something like that. This Valentine’s Day, consider the heart you wish to win, understand its desires and woo accordingly. May we suggest one of these romantic gestures, perfect for the special Juggalo or Trekkie in your life…

Hell Yeah, I Love You!
Hell yeah, I love you! Getting love is easy this Valentine's Day. Read More »
Brutally Honest Poems
These love poems are way more realistic. Read More »