I started dating immediately after I told my now-ex that I wanted to get a divorce. This was because, as one of my friends very aptly put it, I wasn’t really “rebounding” so much as just “bounding” — rebounding assumes that you’re bouncing off of something, and I wanted a divorce because my marriage no longer qualified as a relationship. A relationship is the state in which two things or people are connected to each other; we were not that so much as one person making loud proclamations about what the other should be and the other, by the end, just going “NO” (and this is a generous description of a very unhealthy situation). I was definitely bounding out of and away from that, and gleefully. Continue reading
The first week after a breakup is always the most difficult. The rejection is fresh and the sting still burns, which makes it that much harder to remind yourself that the relationship is over, and that, despite how it feels at the time, things will get better. Those first few days are also crucial in determining how you’ll handle the rest of the breakup. The decision to end things takes only a moment, but coping with that loss can take days, months, or even years. And in my opinion, the tone of that “healing period” is set early on. Will you continue to communicate, cut each other off cold turkey, or decide to have casual sex until he realizes he wants you and only you? After my breakup with Andrew, I chose my path, and thankfully, it resulted in clarity.
When Andrew blindsided me with the truth bomb that he wasn’t ready for a girlfriend, I knew I’d be incapable of carrying on any kind of communication or relationship with him without developing muddled feelings. We both agreed it was best to sever ties. About a week later, I went out with friends for drinks, headed back home alone and found myself aching to text him. Continue reading
I was sitting with a couple of smart women that I respect when the subject of dating came up, as it tends to do. “I read The Rules, and it changed my life,” one friend told me, in complete earnestness. “I swear by The Rules. They really work.”
I was taken aback, and for good reason. I’m a generation behind The Rules’ target demo. Twenty years ago, when this book was first published, I was in middle school, when “dating” meant writing about someone in your dream journal and holding hands. As my dating life developed, any mention of The Rules felt laughable, like an ancient relic from a never-seen “Sex And The City” episode, something the girls would discuss over cosmos at Buddakan.
“Aren’t they old-fashioned and sexist, and you know, stupid?” I asked. My other friend interjected. “Seriously, they’re great,” she said. “Trust me.” Continue reading
It’s pretty clear from any real-life dating experience or missed meet-cute that people aren’t too great at picking up on flirtatious signals, but now science is able to prove it. The research, conducted by the University of Kansas consisted of two studies. The first study gathered 52 pairs of single, heterosexual college students who thought the study was about first impressions. The pairs would chat for 10-12 minutes. Afterward, they’d fill out questionnaires separately that asked whether they’d flirted and whether they thought their conversation partner had. Participants were over 80 percent correct in knowing when the other person was not flirting, but only 36 percent of men and 18 percent of women noticed when the other person was flirting with them. Continue reading
I haven’t jumped on the Tinder bandwagon because something about it seems even less serious than OKCupid, and that’s sad. Case in point: Joshua, a Tinder user, couldn’t be bothered to individually message something unique to each of his matches, or even copy/paste the same message to all of them — he mass messaged all 32 women he was interested in with the same overture: “Hey gorgeous :) what’s up?” Are you surprised to learn that the 32 “gorgeous” women on the receiving end of this message didn’t take Joshua, well, seriously? Above and after the jump, the ensuing frenzy of texts from the women to Joshua and to each other. Let this be a lesson, everyone — if you don’t have time to individually message people online, you probably don’t have time to properly date them. [Elite Daily] Continue reading
For all the men out there who think women play mind games when it comes to sex — first they’re into you, and the next second they’re not — consider this: It might not be them. Yes, George Costanza, if it’s anybody, it might just be you. If you’ve had a good date, are into a decent makeout session and all of a sudden your girl remembers that she has “an early start” and heads home, you may have inadvertently ruined the mood. But what was it that went wrong exactly? Read more on AskMen…