To me, sex is much more than just a biological need. Humanity relies on sex for procreation, but the vast majority of the world also turns to sex for pleasure and release. Some people have sex simply to fulfill their physical needs, others see it as a sacred act that should only be shared between people who love each other, and some, like myself, think sex can mean different things with different people in different situations. Sometimes, it doesn’t really even “mean” anything— it’s just … had. I’ve had great sex many times in my life, with no experience feeling or meaning the same. So what exactly makes my idea of “amazing, mind-blowing” sex so amazing and mind-blowing? There’s much more to it than simply getting off. And with Baby Face, that’s been the case. Keep reading »
We all have that one person who lingers. You know, that person you dated for a little while, but never really cut ties with. Maybe you periodically check in with them, just to see how they’re doing, or keep an eye on their Facebook relationship status to see if they’re still available. Maybe they’re the person you’re interested in, but not for the immediate future. Maybe you see yourself with them five years down the line, when you’re ready to settle, and hopefully they feel the same way, too. Maybe you entertain the idea of starting it up again, when you’ve blown through all your Tinder matches and your OKCupid inbox holds nothing but baby MRAs and leering sexual come-ons. This, my friends, is a backburner relationship, described in The Atlantic as “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains a degree of some communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.” It sounds bad, like the worst possible way to keep someone tethered to you without taking action, but really, it’s not the worst thing. Chances are, you’re doing it with someone in your life, and have been for quite some time. Keep reading »
Since my dating history only began after college, I never believed I had a specific physical type. I met a guy in high school that remained my boyfriend throughout most of college, which means my dating history didn’t start until I will well into my twenties. After a slew of brief flings and a first date that ended in a flat tire and me on my back, jacking up his Toyota Camry on the side of the highway in the pouring rain, I realized that perhaps I needed one — I just never expected my ‘type’ to include older men. Keep reading »
Another post about a guy responding in an abusive manner towards a woman who didn’t adhere to his expectations? you may be thinking. I promise, we will stop posting about the topic just as soon as stories about the violent manifestations of pervasive male entitlement stop filling the news cycle. You can hold me to that. So, the latest rage-inducer? A man is accused of choking a woman he met online because she wasn’t “like she was on the Internet.” Keep reading »
Bye Felipe is an Instagram collection of Tinder creeps curated by Alexandra Tweten, an Los Angeles-based journalist inspired by her own bad experiences on Tinder. The difference between Bye Felipe (the name is inspired by the “Bye, Felicia” meme) and other blogs dedicated to exposing assholes on dating sites is the particular kind of asshole they expose: The guys who escalate and get angry reallllly fast if women reject them, don’t answer them, or simply exist, in some cases.
The Atlantic is calling this a “feminist” initiative. It pains me to think that asking men to be basically decent and polite is part of a non-mainstream political effort to erase the gender gap, because it seems like it should just be something that everyone does for the sake of doing it. But it’s women, not men, who are experiencing sexual harassment online — in dating apps less of the time and on social media more often. That gender difference means something about men’s attitudes toward sex and women, specifically that they feel entitled to sex and entitled to women. In that context, sexual rejection isn’t just a normal part of human interactions, it’s a denial of something they perceive to be rightfully theirs. Keep reading »