So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, we’ll discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
As I’ve mentioned before, there are many things that I miss about being single, for instance, watching “Rupaul’s Drag Race” and “America’s Next Top Model” whenever I felt like it, waking up at 7AM and running errands, and sitting down to a gourmet salad for one. But one thing I didn’t realize until I was no longer single, was that when you’re on your own for long stretches of time, you drop into a strange zone where it’s just you, yourself, and you. Another single friend of mine once confessed to me that she had invented “an imaginary dog” that she regularly “fed leftovers from dinner” and I nodded, as if it were a completely normal thing to do. The fact is, when you’re lonely, companionship, even in seemingly insane forms, is what keeps you sane. It’s not until you have another person to witness you, say, asking your houseplants how they’re feeling today, that you get your first whiff of, “Oh, wow, that’s a little bit crazy, huh?”
Here are a few of the things that I did when I was single that I’ve surmised, due to my partner’s frequent side-eye glances, are rather strange… Keep reading »
Men are simple creatures. This statement has got to be one of the most common clichés ladies hear every time their boyfriends, boy-toys, fiancés, and even husbands have them on the brink of tearing their hair out with confusion. How can this sweeping statement solve any one of the problems we face when interacting with the ever-baffling male species?
Well, this little gem of a cliché has been served to us on a silver platter time and time again and it’s high-time we paid heed to it. Here are 10 ways men cease to amaze us in their abundance of simplicity on College Candy… Keep reading »
The other night, my boyfriend went home with a stripper, and I was totally cool with it. I’ve known about my boyfriend’s strip club patronage since we first started dating. Visiting a club in every city (he travels for work) is his equivalent of collecting state quarters. When he began a career as a heavy metal journalist, he became involved with one particular club, Pumps. They had an edgier rock n’ roll vibe and he began reviewing their burlesque shows. The club loved the positive attention and treated him like a bit of a local celebrity. He became friendly with many of the bartenders and dancers, who appreciated the presence of someone who tipped well, was respectful, and showed interest in their artistic endeavors. Keep reading »
According to a new poll done by Esquire, it’s totally “normal” for guys cry regularly, avoid strip clubs, and (gasp!) use moisturizer at least once a month. A whopping 62% of respondents even expressed “little to no” interest in watching sports on TV. Turns out they prefer cooking shows. Based on these results, the pollsters have concluded that guys are becoming more sensitive. We’re not sure that the use of moisturizer and an obsession with “Chopped” equates to sensitivity, but we certainly can’t complain. We’ve been scoping out sensitive, ponytailed types since the ’90s. These days, their ponytails are gone, but they still like to curl up in a ball on the couch and have a good cry after watching “Blackfish.” Bless their mushy lil’ hearts, we wouldn’t have them any other way. Below, the pros — and a few cons — of having a sensitive dude in your life. Keep reading »
We’ve specified dates from non-dates in the past, but according to a poll of 2,647 singles ages 18 to 59, daters are still totally confused. A staggering 69 percent claimed to be unsure about the formal status of spending time with someone one-on-one. Unacceptable. Let’s clear this up right now! Take our simple quiz to determine whether or not this thing is considered a date… Keep reading »
At last, official, research-based proof that men are more forgetful than women! I think it’s safe to venture that anyone among us who has lived with a man at some point in their lives is hardly surprised. Next time he forgets to pick the milk on the way home or leaves his keys at work by accident, take pity. It’s not his fault that you have a better memory than he does — it’s science! Keep reading »
I walked into a posh, new restaurant in Alphabet City and asked a guy in a black suit (amidst other guys in ratty chinos and un-tucked oxford shirts) about my reservation. Like a gentleman, he laughed and explained in a sexy Aussie accent that he wore a suit because he was a sharp dresser, not because he was a host at this restaurant. Blushing cheeks, a good laugh and I had Jack’s phone number.
Jack the Australian had cool, blue eyes and black hair, and if I need to say more than that, I can. He was an air traffic controller. An extra cool, rom-com worthy job. He quickly racked up bonus points; funny in a dorky way, up for anything, including flea markets and whiffle ball, and actually used dish soap. He even had a continual Scrabble game going with his elderly neighbor. Keep reading »
Tinder user, Kthnxbye, was swiping through potential matches on Tinder when she came across this picture of a naked man riding a unicorn. Sure, 32-year-old Mateo may not have been the unicorn that Kthnxbye was looking for, but at least he knows how to use Photoshop. Also, he doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously. A quality that should never be overlooked when it comes to dating. Unicorns may not be your style, but you can always play around with other photo concepts. Go wild! Your face in the center of a pizza! You cleaning your bathroom! You cuddling a baby sloth! Hey, whatever gets people to stop (even if for the wrong reasons) instead of swiping. There’s a lot of competition out there. [Metro UK]
Let’s be honest… that awkward moment when we find out our ex is dating someone new is usually pretty unpleasant. And for some, it triggers an immediate response in the brain, causing us to stop thinking completely and walk over to the computer to Google the new guy or girl who took our place. And then, kind of like my addiction to potato chips (it has to be a real thing), some people are unable to stop stalking, becoming obsessed with their “replacements.” Before you know it, you’ve created a fake profile on Facebook so you can “friend” him or her inconspicuously, while learning everything about them, including their constant need to post selfies of food and how often they groom their pet Chow-Chow, Beanie. Keep reading »
There’s no worse feeling than not knowing. And after Patrick Bateman’s web of lies (which, let’s be honest, will probably haunt me for the rest of my life), I feel the need for constant relationship reassurance. I hate the unanswered questions, and I hate the unknown. Officer Handsoming and I are currently in that unknown, and I don’t like it one bit.
Allow me to set the scene: My friends and I were drinking champagne and decided to go dancing. Despite the fact that I’d already reached my desired level of buzzedness, I gladly accepted the shots of Fireball that the bartender bestowed upon us, even though I knew I’d regret it in the morning. While we were throwing back our whiskey, my chatty girlfriend made nice with a group of guys standing next to us, who were also enjoying some drinks on the house.
“Hi there,” a Leonardo DiCaprio look-a-like said to me, shaking my hand. I shook his hand back, and walked away to check my phone and text Officer Handsoming, who happened to be working an overnight shift. Keep reading »