I was an hour into my first date with Hot Doctor when he moved in for the kill. Lucky for him, I was so totally taken off guard by his kiss that I didn’t have the wherewithal to swat him away. Less than 10 seconds later, he went for my boob, and then it was Game Over.
“I thought I made it perfectly clear to you that I wasn’t looking to hook up,” I said, pushing Hot Doctor away.
“Well, you did, but that all goes out the window if you like someone right?” he responded, clearly confused.
What made him think that I liked him?
He looked nothing like the photos from his OKCupid profile — he had darker, thinner hair, was a few inches shorter and looked at least five years older. We agreed to meet up for drinks once he finished his nightly review class for his medical boards, but after a delayed dismissal and a few wrong turns, it was 10:45 p.m. before he made it to my neighborhood. At that point, knowing that my roommate was home and within earshot of the living room, I opted to just invite him in for a drink. It was already late on a work night, and if I’d had it my way, I would have already been counting shirtless Channing Tatums in my dreams for at least 30 minutes by then. Unfortunately, the doctor had arrived for his house call. Keep reading »
By now you’ve probably heard about the Carrot Dating App, a Tinder-like matchmaking program that allows male daters to “bribe their way to a date” with incentives such as plastic surgery or a tank of gas. The app was created by Brandon Wade (pictured above), the same guy behind the sites What’s Your Price, Seeking Millionaire and Seeking Arrangement. Wade had the idea for the app, which some people are slamming as glorified prostitution, upon realizing that “women love presents like dogs love treats.” And just as an “unfriendly dog wouldn’t deny a tasty treat, any beautiful girl can be bribed into giving you a first date,” Wade explains. Charming!
It should go without saying that I find it wildly offensive for Wade to compare women to dogs and naturally, I resent the implication that ladies only want to date men who can offer them a new set of breast implants. As for the whole is-this-or-isn’t-this prostitution debate, well, frankly, I think that offering a woman tank of gas in exchange for a date is not much different than entering into the kind of sugar baby/daddy relationship that sites like Seeking Arrangement offers; it’s something that I wouldn’t personally consider, but also, refuse to judge those who do. Hey, I’m a sexual relativist. However, there is something about Carrot Dating that I will judge: it’s troublesome philosophy which seems to imply that men are powerless when it comes to dating. Keep reading »
Here’s what’s easy:
Sitting in your apartment, doing things that you like to do, justifying this behavior by saying that because it is what you want to do, it is absolutely correct. Rejecting new experiences because they could fail, because you could embarrass yourself or fall on your face or loose a tooth or a shred of dignity. Staying in a rut because it’s comfortable, it feels right, and it’s easier than putting on that pair of pants or wearing those new shoes or doing anything other than the path you picked out for yourself as the only way for you.
Dating is not fun. It’s not easy. If someone came up to me and told me in earnest that scrolling thru the depths of OKCupid is a fulfilling and mentally engaging activity, I’d gather my things and back away slowly. It feels like work because it is work. Scrolling through matches taps into the muscle memory of the aimless looking for shoes on Zappos or searching your work email for that thing you got last week that you just can’t find. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Click? Scroll. Repeat ad nauseam until you find something that you think might work, with some jiggering, a little tailoring, a tiny nip and tuck. Add to your cart, finish your wine, close your laptop, go to sleep. Keep reading »
It’s Halloween and everyone is gearing up with their spookiest stories. Maybe you’ve never experienced a bonafide haunting, but there might be a ghost in your midst and it could be wreaking more havoc than you’d imagine. We’re talking about the deep, dark issues that haunt your relationship — the kind that pop up and scare the crap out of you and your partner on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday evening. From unresolved crap with mom and dad to the emotional affair that’s been eating away at you, no relationship is safe. Happy couples know that the only way to deal with these phantoms, is not to hide in fear, but rather, shine a light on them. Unfortunately, there are no proton packs that will turn your issues into green slime — if only it were that easy! — but here are a few tips for scaring your relationship ghosts out of the dark corners where they lurk. Keep reading »
According to UK’s Guardian, Japan’s young people aren’t having a whole lot of sex. In fact, a study found that 45 percent of women 16 to 25 “were not interested or despised sexual contact.” Despised. The desire to get married is declining, and fewer babies were born in Japan in 2012 than ever before. The changes have been so drastic that officials are fearing for Japan’s ability to repopulate itself.
But when the Guardian looked closer at the conundrum, it appears Japanese youth have some pretty good reasons for rejecting dating. This leads me to wonder whether Japan’s declining sexuality is a sign of what may be in store for other countries in the future. Here are some reasons Japan’s young people are swearing off sex:
Keep reading »
Online dating is not for the faint of heart. That much I can tell you from personal experience. From the guy who called his own mother a “slut” to the guy who picked a fight with me on our second date, it truly was a wild ride and I’m glad not to be kissing any more Mr. Toads. You need anecdotal horror stories about online dating, I’m your girl.
But what about the data-driven side of finding wuv online?
Well, the Pew Research Center released a new report today on public attitudes towards online dating and relationships. It asked almost 2,252 ages 18 and up their opinions on Internet romance, comparing many of their questions with the results of past studies. The good news is that online dating is getting increasingly more accepted by society? The bad news? It’s still dating. Blech.
Here are some of the surprising new findings from Pew’s study, presented in GIFs! Keep reading »
As I stood in the small studio on Manhattan’s Upper West Side, attempting a sexy pout for the camera, I felt my fears and inhibitions melting away. Posing for boudoir photos was the most fun I’d had in months. The real me, who I’d been stifling for reasons I hadn’t even begun to understand, had started to find her way back to the surface. Any thoughts that I wasn’t cute enough for this, wasn’t confident enough for this, wasn’t anything enough for this, began to fade away. I guess I’d thought that photo shoots like this were for other people, not me. Turns out that was the biggest lie I’d ever told myself. I wasn’t about to waste any more time feeling inadequate or not being incredibly proud of the person I was.
This experience, like so many bold decisions, started with an epic breakup. A big thing I realized when that relationship ended was that I had stopped trying new things or leaving my comfort zone. I was flat-out uninspired. I felt incredibly unsexy, and not necessarily in just a physical way. My spirit, at that point, was what could only be described as gray and lumpy. My trademark giddy energy was gone because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d learned something new or exciting. I’d forgotten how many adventures life had to offer. Keep reading »
Over the years, I’ve made a commitment to helping you get laid. And if you followed the advice in those articles, you’re probably having some trouble reading this one because the writhing mass of naked bodies you’re currently tangled up in won’t hold still. So you’ve got the hot, meaningless sex part down, but studies show that young people are still more interested in relationships than hookups, and, despite the sky-high divorce rate, the vast majority of people still want to get married one day.
You’re Looking For A Soul Mate: While your grandmother probably prayed that her future husband would be a caring father or know how to raise a barn or just be a supernatural hump machine (pausing to let that image sink in), these days it seems everyone is hoping to find their “soul mate.” And while it may sound romantic, in reality trying to find your soul mate can lead to The Last Airbender levels of disappointment. Read more on Cracked…
In an upcoming episode of “Katie,” formerly plus-sized women get sweet revenge on the people who fat-shamed them. In this clip, single gal Jennifer Tippie talks about the ex-boyfriend who told her that if she got down to 140 pounds, he would put a ring on her finger because, ya know, he really wanted to be with someone who was “proportionate to him.” Oh, men who tell women to lose weight are always such PRINCES, aren’t they? Especially when they offer marriage as the motivation. It’s hard to imagine turning such an appealing offer down, but Jennifer did. She lost the weight on her own and now she will flaunt her “revenge body” in her ex’s face.
If a man has ever even suggested that you lose weight in order to date him — or change anything about your appearance — now’s the time to publicly shame him in our comment section. Have at it.
“I don’t understand it … I’m cool. I like going out. I like being at home, I like movies, I like eating. So what’s wrong with me? Why am I alone? … I’m looking for someone serious, who I can set up home with … Someone who comes from a warm, loving family like mine, who has values like mine…I’m very interested in going out with someone who is big and strong and famous … I see [Ryan Gosling and I could melt. He’s amazing. He’s my wow.”
-- Bar Refaeli laments her single status in an Israeli newspaper. The supermodel may not look like most of us, but she feels existentially lonely like we do. We've all been there -- trying to make sense of why we're still single, daring the universe to send someone, anyone worthwhile our way, fantasizing hardcore about Ryan Gosling. The only difference is that Bar seems to be confused about what feminism is. She is so relatable up until the the part of the interview where she says that she's "not at all a feminist" because she likes to do dishes and wants to be a stay-at-home mom. Guh. I think we need to get her, Farrah Abraham and Taylor Swift together for a little teaching session where we explain that you can do dishes and still be a feminist. [NY Daily News]