While watching your partner have sex with another person is common enough to play a vibrant role in swinging and orgies, and to spawn porn parodies like “One Flew Over the Cuckold’s Nest,” in general it’s safe to assume that a conversation regarding your partner’s sexual history rarely ends well. Recalling Amsterdam trips at 19 or drunken indiscretions with a married man upon moving to New York typically don’t make for the best dirty talk. While honesty is the best policy, exchanging such details in a new relationship often leaves you wishing you left them in your past like your Bob Marley wall tapestry rather than stamped on your present like the peace sign tattoo on your ass.
As a sex writer, I can attest to the usefulness of personal anecdotes in writing. (See: This article.) People tend to be more interested in learning about “sounding” (the practice of inserting objects up the urethra) when you can describe a British man exhibiting such a kink in your bed after a tea date than simply an interview with a sexologist on the practice standing alone. Less clinical, more relatable, with a punch of humor. “The truth is stranger than fiction” said Mark Twain, although I don’t think he was referring to pinkies up pee-holes. While the general population tends to appreciate such tales, the one reader group that grimaces, perhaps secondary to my parents, are my boyfriends. Keep reading »
When you think about dating one of the Disney princes (and you know you have) it’s normally a happily ever after, having scores of royal children together scenario. But some of the princes (and for the purpose of this list, we’re also including the non-royal male companions of the Disney princesses) would actually make better rebound relationships then life long companions. Read more on College Candy…
It’s no secret I’ve been hurt in the past. Patrick Bateman broke my heart and left me with some serious trust issues and therapy bills to show for it, which is why it’s imperative I end up with someone who’s open and honest about his intentions and feelings. Last week, Baby Face proved to me that he can be that person, even though what he was telling me wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. Keep reading »
This morning, I was talking to my therapist about boys and she asked me what I ultimately am really looking for in a partner, by which she (and I) mean someone I could see myself seriously dating. “Well, to be honest, sometimes I am really, really happy to not have a boyfriend, because boyfriends tend to distract from all the other things I’m busy doing,” I said. “But I also really would like to meet someone I seriously dig, who also seriously digs me in the same way, and considers spending time with me one of their priorities, as opposed to something they fit in when they feel like it.”
“You want to really matter to someone,” my therapist interjected.
“Yes!” I said. “And the thing is, it’s not that I even desire all that much attention because the thing I don’t like about relationships is how much time they can take up. Really, it would be great to have a amazing, loving, cool boyfriend about 70 percent of the time, and the other 30 percent of the time he would be tucked away in a closet where he can’t get up to any funny business while I spent my time weaving for hours on end and eating ice cream for dinner.” Keep reading »
I have plenty of friends who have met their significant others online and, with zero exceptions, these relationships are composed of two people who are definitely perfect for each other and are exactly the kind of thing I want for myself. That’s why I decided to try online dating.
Also, nearly every word of that is a lie. I gave the online thing a go because I have a very casual approach to dating, and by casual I mean lazy. Online is always the laziest way to do something right. I expected online dating to be a lot like buying Christmas presents on Amazon: easy, efficient, and guaranteed delivery in 48 hours. Read more on Cracked…
I’ve been writing Dater X for almost a year now, and can honestly say that putting everything out there about my love life hasn’t been easy. Writing this column is therapeutic in a way, because it allows me to reflect on my relationships, both good and bad, and figure out how to move forward with more insight, intuition and confidence. But with that somewhat comforting self-analysis also comes a lot of pressure. I write my story because I want to, but I’m also making myself vulnerable by writing about real people, real feelings and real struggles. Some weeks I blog freely, not giving a fuck what kind of criticism will come my way, and other weeks, I worry about being judged, disrespected, and oftentimes, having my identity uncovered. I’m never certain how I’ll feel at the end of the day, especially on days when I write Dater X, but I know why I do it. I do it because I don’t want to end up like my mom. I’ll share her story with you to give you more insight into why I do what I do—from writing this blog to dating tirelessly and relentlessly for the last several years. It’s hardly a sob story, but it’s one that’s shaped me into who I am. Keep reading »