For nearly two weeks, I’ve had a Dude living in my small studio apartment. It’s a short-term-ish houseguest situation that will likely last another month or so, which means the Dude (sorry, no details on who he is, but feel free to assume it’s Ryan Gosling for visual purposes) has been given the freedom to make himself at home more so than your average weekend visitor, but less so than a full on roommate. I haven’t lived with anyone, let alone a man, since my ex and I broke up five years ago, so I’m used to having my place just so. I was genuinely amused by how quickly — like, within a few hours of him temporarily moving in — I started to notice little signs that my feng shui-ed girly sanctuary was being soaked in testosterone. So I decide to document the changes as a sort of anthropological study. Here are 10 signs that a dude is starting to take over your apartment, presented in photographs taken around my abode…
Tag Archives: dating
So here’s something kinda creepy – Facebook probably knows who your significant other is, even if you’ve never posted it online before. Yep, I’m freaked out too, but also kind of fascinated. Maybe this shouldn’t be all that surprising. The whole “the internet knows everything about you” rhetoric has been around long enough, but new network analysis developments have made things a little more interesting.
When it comes to friendships of the non-romantic sort, Facebook researchers measure how close two people are by what they call “embededness.” Facebook measures how embedded a friend is by how many mutual friends you share. Generally, the closer people are, the more mutual friends they are likely to have. Makes sense, right? Keep reading »
Say you’re in a new relationship, and things are going well. There are dinners, there is coffee in bed when you want it, there is sparkling conversation and wit and banter, there are all-consuming exchanges of emotion that leave you revitalized and ready to seize the rest of your lives together. You’ve reached a state of happiness that leaves other relationships in the dark. Finally! A thing that works for me, the way I want it, the way I need it. What have I done to deserve this giant treasure from the universe?
Then, the change comes, like it does in all new relationships. Sun-soaked afternoons in bed are slowly replaced by tense mornings in which every conversation is a power struggle. What was once light and sunshine and butterfly kisses is now a relationship fraught with calculated moves to gain the upper hand. What happened here? How did something that seemed so easy become so complicated? Keep reading »
We pick up our phone everyday, see the same pattern of emoji-laden iMessages from the same seven people. When we head to the bar, we’re drawn to buy a drink for the same kinds of people — the pierced girl, the prep, the bookish nerd, the rustic leather jacket clad bad boy. Our types are something we’ve all accepted having, something we even laugh about. Maybe that’s not as peachy keen as we think it is.
A recently released study by Aalto University indicates that people have a tendency to communicate with the same kinds of people again and again. Through tracking mobile phone patterns, researchers concluded that we’re all just wading in the same talk bubble of the same people, the same genders, and same ages every damn day. And it’s restricting us; communicating in identical groups stymies new ideas and information from circulating. It also leads to dating déjà vu: that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach where you recognize a current date is nearly identical to your ex and they keep talking about “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” nonstop. Oh, crap. They even chew in that same obnoxious way. Keep reading »
Halloween week is the perfect time to reflect on the things that you find deeply, completely terrifying. For me, this includes mayonnaise that’s been left out in the open air for too long, the thought of riding Pirates of the Caribbean alone at night, the TLC special “Born Without A Face” and handful of awful dates I went on during my eight year stint as a single person. We’ve all had dates that have traumatized us to the core, sure, but some are so horrendous that years later you will lay in bed at,night shaking and sweating at the memory of the Trader Joe’s bag boy who looked quite different when he wasn’t surrounded by organic produce. Below, eight dates that still make me want to hide under my bed. Keep reading »
I was an hour into my first date with Hot Doctor when he moved in for the kill. Lucky for him, I was so totally taken off guard by his kiss that I didn’t have the wherewithal to swat him away. Less than 10 seconds later, he went for my boob, and then it was Game Over.
“I thought I made it perfectly clear to you that I wasn’t looking to hook up,” I said, pushing Hot Doctor away.
“Well, you did, but that all goes out the window if you like someone right?” he responded, clearly confused.
What made him think that I liked him?
He looked nothing like the photos from his OKCupid profile — he had darker, thinner hair, was a few inches shorter and looked at least five years older. We agreed to meet up for drinks once he finished his nightly review class for his medical boards, but after a delayed dismissal and a few wrong turns, it was 10:45 p.m. before he made it to my neighborhood. At that point, knowing that my roommate was home and within earshot of the living room, I opted to just invite him in for a drink. It was already late on a work night, and if I’d had it my way, I would have already been counting shirtless Channing Tatums in my dreams for at least 30 minutes by then. Unfortunately, the doctor had arrived for his house call. Keep reading »
By now you’ve probably heard about the Carrot Dating App, a Tinder-like matchmaking program that allows male daters to “bribe their way to a date” with incentives such as plastic surgery or a tank of gas. The app was created by Brandon Wade (pictured above), the same guy behind the sites What’s Your Price, Seeking Millionaire and Seeking Arrangement. Wade had the idea for the app, which some people are slamming as glorified prostitution, upon realizing that “women love presents like dogs love treats.” And just as an “unfriendly dog wouldn’t deny a tasty treat, any beautiful girl can be bribed into giving you a first date,” Wade explains. Charming!
It should go without saying that I find it wildly offensive for Wade to compare women to dogs and naturally, I resent the implication that ladies only want to date men who can offer them a new set of breast implants. As for the whole is-this-or-isn’t-this prostitution debate, well, frankly, I think that offering a woman tank of gas in exchange for a date is not much different than entering into the kind of sugar baby/daddy relationship that sites like Seeking Arrangement offers; it’s something that I wouldn’t personally consider, but also, refuse to judge those who do. Hey, I’m a sexual relativist. However, there is something about Carrot Dating that I will judge: it’s troublesome philosophy which seems to imply that men are powerless when it comes to dating. Keep reading »
Here’s what’s easy:
Sitting in your apartment, doing things that you like to do, justifying this behavior by saying that because it is what you want to do, it is absolutely correct. Rejecting new experiences because they could fail, because you could embarrass yourself or fall on your face or loose a tooth or a shred of dignity. Staying in a rut because it’s comfortable, it feels right, and it’s easier than putting on that pair of pants or wearing those new shoes or doing anything other than the path you picked out for yourself as the only way for you.
Dating is not fun. It’s not easy. If someone came up to me and told me in earnest that scrolling thru the depths of OKCupid is a fulfilling and mentally engaging activity, I’d gather my things and back away slowly. It feels like work because it is work. Scrolling through matches taps into the muscle memory of the aimless looking for shoes on Zappos or searching your work email for that thing you got last week that you just can’t find. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Click? Scroll. Repeat ad nauseam until you find something that you think might work, with some jiggering, a little tailoring, a tiny nip and tuck. Add to your cart, finish your wine, close your laptop, go to sleep. Keep reading »
It’s Halloween and everyone is gearing up with their spookiest stories. Maybe you’ve never experienced a bonafide haunting, but there might be a ghost in your midst and it could be wreaking more havoc than you’d imagine. We’re talking about the deep, dark issues that haunt your relationship — the kind that pop up and scare the crap out of you and your partner on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday evening. From unresolved crap with mom and dad to the emotional affair that’s been eating away at you, no relationship is safe. Happy couples know that the only way to deal with these phantoms, is not to hide in fear, but rather, shine a light on them. Unfortunately, there are no proton packs that will turn your issues into green slime — if only it were that easy! — but here are a few tips for scaring your relationship ghosts out of the dark corners where they lurk. Keep reading »
According to UK’s Guardian, Japan’s young people aren’t having a whole lot of sex. In fact, a study found that 45 percent of women 16 to 25 “were not interested or despised sexual contact.” Despised. The desire to get married is declining, and fewer babies were born in Japan in 2012 than ever before. The changes have been so drastic that officials are fearing for Japan’s ability to repopulate itself.
But when the Guardian looked closer at the conundrum, it appears Japanese youth have some pretty good reasons for rejecting dating. This leads me to wonder whether Japan’s declining sexuality is a sign of what may be in store for other countries in the future. Here are some reasons Japan’s young people are swearing off sex: