For a period of time after I broke up with the man I’d been dating for four years, all I wore was black. I mourned the relationship by donning a widow’s wardrobe. Shapeless t-shirts, a wool sweater with a stretched out collar, an old pair of ballet slippers. I couldn’t imagine any other combination, besides black on top of more black.
I dressed like this for six months. Then one day, out of nowhere it seemed, an unexpected sartorial shift occurred: I reached for color again, but now, I suddenly wanted to put together outfits that can only be described as, well, “ugly.” Keep reading »
To me, sex is much more than just a biological need. Humanity relies on sex for procreation, but the vast majority of the world also turns to sex for pleasure and release. Some people have sex simply to fulfill their physical needs, others see it as a sacred act that should only be shared between people who love each other, and some, like myself, think sex can mean different things with different people in different situations. Sometimes, it doesn’t really even “mean” anything— it’s just … had. I’ve had great sex many times in my life, with no experience feeling or meaning the same. So what exactly makes my idea of “amazing, mind-blowing” sex so amazing and mind-blowing? There’s much more to it than simply getting off. And with Baby Face, that’s been the case. Keep reading »
We all have that one person who lingers. You know, that person you dated for a little while, but never really cut ties with. Maybe you periodically check in with them, just to see how they’re doing, or keep an eye on their Facebook relationship status to see if they’re still available. Maybe they’re the person you’re interested in, but not for the immediate future. Maybe you see yourself with them five years down the line, when you’re ready to settle, and hopefully they feel the same way, too. Maybe you entertain the idea of starting it up again, when you’ve blown through all your Tinder matches and your OKCupid inbox holds nothing but baby MRAs and leering sexual come-ons. This, my friends, is a backburner relationship, described in The Atlantic as “a person to whom one is not presently committed, and with whom one maintains a degree of some communication, in order to keep or establish the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.” It sounds bad, like the worst possible way to keep someone tethered to you without taking action, but really, it’s not the worst thing. Chances are, you’re doing it with someone in your life, and have been for quite some time. Keep reading »
Since my dating history only began after college, I never believed I had a specific physical type. I met a guy in high school that remained my boyfriend throughout most of college, which means my dating history didn’t start until I will well into my twenties. After a slew of brief flings and a first date that ended in a flat tire and me on my back, jacking up his Toyota Camry on the side of the highway in the pouring rain, I realized that perhaps I needed one — I just never expected my ‘type’ to include older men. Keep reading »