The first week after a breakup is always the most difficult. The rejection is fresh and the sting still burns, which makes it that much harder to remind yourself that the relationship is over, and that, despite how it feels at the time, things will get better. Those first few days are also crucial in determining how you’ll handle the rest of the breakup. The decision to end things takes only a moment, but coping with that loss can take days, months, or even years. And in my opinion, the tone of that “healing period” is set early on. Will you continue to communicate, cut each other off cold turkey, or decide to have casual sex until he realizes he wants you and only you? After my breakup with Andrew, I chose my path, and thankfully, it resulted in clarity.
When Andrew blindsided me with the truth bomb that he wasn’t ready for a girlfriend, I knew I’d be incapable of carrying on any kind of communication or relationship with him without developing muddled feelings. We both agreed it was best to sever ties. About a week later, I went out with friends for drinks, headed back home alone and found myself aching to text him. Keep reading »
I was sitting with a couple of smart women that I respect when the subject of dating came up, as it tends to do. “I read The Rules, and it changed my life,” one friend told me, in complete earnestness. “I swear by The Rules. They really work.”
I was taken aback, and for good reason. I’m a generation behind The Rules’ target demo. Twenty years ago, when this book was first published, I was in middle school, when “dating” meant writing about someone in your dream journal and holding hands. As my dating life developed, any mention of The Rules felt laughable, like an ancient relic from a never-seen “Sex And The City” episode, something the girls would discuss over cosmos at Buddakan.
“Aren’t they old-fashioned and sexist, and you know, stupid?” I asked. My other friend interjected. “Seriously, they’re great,” she said. “Trust me.” Keep reading »
It’s pretty clear from any real-life dating experience or missed meet-cute that people aren’t too great at picking up on flirtatious signals, but now science is able to prove it. The research, conducted by the University of Kansas consisted of two studies. The first study gathered 52 pairs of single, heterosexual college students who thought the study was about first impressions. The pairs would chat for 10-12 minutes. Afterward, they’d fill out questionnaires separately that asked whether they’d flirted and whether they thought their conversation partner had. Participants were over 80 percent correct in knowing when the other person was not flirting, but only 36 percent of men and 18 percent of women noticed when the other person was flirting with them. Keep reading »
I haven’t jumped on the Tinder bandwagon because something about it seems even less serious than OKCupid, and that’s sad. Case in point: Joshua, a Tinder user, couldn’t be bothered to individually message something unique to each of his matches, or even copy/paste the same message to all of them — he mass messaged all 32 women he was interested in with the same overture: “Hey gorgeous :) what’s up?” Are you surprised to learn that the 32 “gorgeous” women on the receiving end of this message didn’t take Joshua, well, seriously? Above and after the jump, the ensuing frenzy of texts from the women to Joshua and to each other. Let this be a lesson, everyone — if you don’t have time to individually message people online, you probably don’t have time to properly date them. [Elite Daily] Keep reading »
For all the men out there who think women play mind games when it comes to sex — first they’re into you, and the next second they’re not — consider this: It might not be them. Yes, George Costanza, if it’s anybody, it might just be you. If you’ve had a good date, are into a decent makeout session and all of a sudden your girl remembers that she has “an early start” and heads home, you may have inadvertently ruined the mood. But what was it that went wrong exactly? Read more on AskMen…
It went as perfectly perfect as a breakup could go, I suppose.
Only a few days after my last Dater X post, when I told you all about my hopes of moving things forward with Andrew, he came over to my place to hang out and, without warning, dropped a bomb on me. As usual, we made small talk for a while, chatting about our weekend plans and jobs, and worked our way into my bedroom. Mid-makeout session, I reached down to unzip his jeans, when his hand grabbed mine and pushed it to the side— a suspicious move for not having seen each other in a week. He sat upright, looked me in the eye and said, “Before we do this, there are some things on my mind that I think we should talk about.”
In that moment, I was sure he was going to tell me he wanted us to be exclusive, and ask me if I felt the same way. Keep reading »
There comes a time in everybody’s dating career when your dance card suddenly becomes fuller than you know what to do with. One day, you’re swiping sullenly through Tinder bemoaning the lack of attractive, normal-seeming men that are possibly as tall as they say they are in their profiles, and the next, you find yourself drafting a spreadsheet to keep track of the nine dates that you have somehow booked for one week. Dating karma is like that. Like all things in life, your dating life will ebb and flow. Years of Sahara-like drought will give way to a summer full of eternal possibility, teeming with tapas dates and dinner dates and beach dates galore. One day, you’ll wake up in a daze, and find yourself with a bucket full of eligible, decent, good dudes, all clamoring for your attention.
“How could I possibly date two people, or even three people, when handling one person was too much?” you ask yourself as you scroll thru your texts one lazy Sunday. “How could it be that the universe is handing me such a Herculean task?”
Keep this in mind, dear reader. This embarrassment of riches is your prize for enduring countless shitty dates and rebuffing the advances of grody bros in I-banker loafers who are too drunk to see straight while you’re waiting in line for the bathroom. If you ever, ever feel bad about dating more than one person, remind yourself that if you were a dude, this behavior would be second nature. This is unfamiliar territory, and it is perfectly natural to have questions. Let me assuage your concerns. Here are a few tips and tricks for juggling two people — or more! — at once. Keep reading »
I would naively assume that the main reason a person would have sex would be simply because they wanted to. As it turns out, there are a whole slew of complicated reasons why people have sex.
The University of Texas conducted a study to find out exactly what motivates people to get busy and the results were much more nuanced than I’d have thought. Researchers first asked over 400 survey participants to reveal reasons people have sex; then, they asked about 1,500 undergraduate students about their experiences and attitudes. What they found was over 237 reasons for having sex. Keep reading »
Anybody who’s experienced online dating knows the icky feeling of being descended on by creeps (for lack of a better word) who are more interested in getting their porno on within 10 seconds of first contacting you than learning your name. Whether these guys somehow believe this is actually a polite way to talk to people (I doubt that) or are just total assholes who enjoy sexually harassing others, the rate of unsolicited dick pics in the dating world makes it pretty clear that something’s got to give. Wyldfire, the latest dating app to hit the scene, is a network that allows women to sign up freely, but only allows guys to join if they’re invited by a woman. The idea is to create a network of guys who are lady-approved and pre-screened for the creep factor. Keep reading »
Kyle Jones is 31-years-old and calls himself a “cougar hunter.” However, Jones isn’t into your typical cougar, he likes them much, much, much older. Case in point–he’s dating 91-year-old Marjorie McCool and 68-year-old Anna Ronald. Yes, Jones is dating multiple older women (there’s three more), but his preference is for McCool. Watch them make out on YourTango…