OK Cupid can be a great place to get a date. But delve too deep into the hidden corners of the online dating site, and you’re probably not going to like what you find. Ever take a gander at their “questions” section? It’s extensive, and covers everything from what you like to do in bed, to what you like to eat, to how you’d raise your future OKC spawn. There are literally hundreds — nay, thousands — of these questions, created by the site and also submitted by users. And LaptopMag.com trolled through and found 10 of the creepiest. Keep reading »
I’ve had a boyfriend for four years and we’re not engaged. I know. But we like it that way for now. Seriously.
To me, getting married is not something that a person should do when she has to call her mother multiple times a day for various reasons including, “I was too scared to kill a bug so I just drowned it in Raid. Will I get cancer now?” Marriage doesn’t seem appropriate for someone who is continually moving the same 20 dollars from checking to savings.
As a wife, you can’t regularly experience existential crises like I do. In my mind, marriage is for more worldly people, people who have settled down in life. Because after you say “I do” comes the purchase of a house and the arrival of children. And quite frankly, I’m not comfortable with that. I openly admit it: I am not ready to get married. Now is not the time to tie the knot.
However, the lack of a princess cut or pear-shaped diamond on my hand seems to prove upsetting to those who know me. The amount of times per day that I am questioned about my relationship status is becoming rather alarming. During a recent trip to my dentist, the hygienist immediately grabbed my hand, and then let out an audible sigh. I was unsure whether I should apologize or just smile and walk away. Instead, upon further questioning, I blurted out, “No ring. Just some dry skin.” That seemed to put an end to the conversation. Keep reading »
I’m no longer a single traveler, but I was, OH I WAS, for most of my 20s. And not to big myself up or anything, but I did well at airports. You’re probably asking yourself, What does she mean by well? I mean at least a dozen phone numbers/email addresses, three dates, two hookups (one in-air!), one free ride home, two free tickets to a concert and one (kind of) long distance romance. I won’t regale you with the details of these airport meetings — although one guy did almost miss his flight to run back to my terminal and buy me a latte at Starbucks. That was awfully sweet and rom-com-ish of him. What I will share with you are my own tips for working some magic at the terminal. Keep reading »
I have something I need to get off my chest. I’m experiencing pangs of guilt about writing about dating when I’m no longer doing it. I wake up some mornings and feel like I’m the Benedict Arnold of the single population. During my time at The Frisky, I have gone through pockets of non-singleness, but for the most part I have been single and proud to be so, with moments of not-proud-to be so. I’ve written about the ups and downs of that, but mostly, I accepted and embraced singlehood. I cultivated an identity around it.
As much as I griped about having to sleep on the pull-out couch every Christmas (that did genuinely suck), as much as I blamed myself for being single, as much as I kicked and screamed my way through online dating, as many times as I gave up and went on dating hiatuses, the truth is that I liked being single. I liked being free to hang out with friends, or go to hot yoga, or wake up as early as I felt like on a Sunday morning (I never sleep past 8 a.m). I liked reading my books on the subway and always being in charge of what to watch on Netflix live streaming. Season 3 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” at 7 a.m. on Saturday? WERK! I liked making unilateral decisions about everything in my life because, seriously, it’s the height of personal freedom. It’s something that everyone should experience. It’s a state of being to be savored for as long as it lasts. Keep reading »
It has been five-and-a-half months since my dad died and yet it sometimes feels like it hasn’t hit me yet. Even though his ashes are sitting in a box in my apartment. He had been absent from my day-to-day life for years, our interactions limited, at their most intimate, to Skype. Then we stopped talking. And then eight months later, he died. After the initial shock, my day-to-day life didn’t seem to be that different. I was used to not speaking to him, and had long ago resigned myself to not seeing him again. I couldn’t figure out how to grieve. Keep reading »
A month and a half ago, I went to France for a week and while I was there, I took a French lover. He was a 24-year-old waiter that I met at the first restaurant I had dinner at and he didn’t speak any English. Don’t judge me (unless it’s for being awesome). I took two years of French in high school; he and I were basically equally as fluent in each other’s native tongue, which is to say, not fucking at all. As a result, we could only communicate in two ways: through the language of love, wink, and with the aid of Google Translate. In honor of Wanderlust 2013, and to encourage you to have your own foreign affair someday, here are seven extremely simple topics my French lover and I were able to discuss thanks to Google Translate. Keep reading »
There are some universally acknowledged truths when it comes to dating. These themes are repeated on sitcoms, in romantic comedies and in your buddy Paul’s hookup stories that he totally swears are true, bro.
And, according to science, most of it is wrong. That’s right; somehow, you know even less about romance than you thought you did. Read more on Cracked…
It’s hard to use the term “soul mate” without feeling like you should be wearing a cape and meditating over a crystal. We’ve considered the concept extensively — both independently and together over Gchat — and we are of the same mind on the matter: Not only do soul mates exist but all of us have more than one soul mate out there. And to quote “Annie” (kind of), “A life without soul mates is like a night without stars” — a very dark night. But don’t think because you are single that you’ve been left out of the soul mate phenomenon. It’s limiting to think that merging with your other half must be romantic in nature. Soul mates can be lovers, friends, family members or even pets. While the universe might help us out in our quest to find them, it’s up to us to make sure we connect with them. Soul mate relationships seem so meant to be that it’s hard to imagine ever not knowing that person once you do. But just to be safe, below are some tips for making sure your soul mates in life don’t pass you by. Keep reading »
Love is elusive. Therefore, you must find ways to soothe your existential loneliness. I’m not talking about your most reliable booty call because even fun-but-meaningless hookups lose their appeal in times of extreme single angst. The itch you’re trying to scratch is not sex, but LOVE. And boyfriends who love you are so hard to come. Until you trip over one, you’re going to need an alternative (and a many bottles of wine). I present Dutch designer Noortje de Keijzer’s “My Knitted Boyfriend,” a customized man-shaped pillow she calls “Arthur.” As the description on her website says:
“My Knitted Boyfriend is a cushion with a story. A cushion with a personality. A cushion to kiss! Or, well… to cuddle, to caress, to hug, and to smile with. Because this man is always happy. And he is flexible as well. He will have a mustache if you prefer mustaches. He will wear glasses if you prefer glasses. He likes to sit on your floor, on your couch or at you dinner table. But most of all he likes to lay down next to you in bed. With your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you. This way you will never feel alone ever again. With this man you can be sure, he will never leave you.”
Keep reading »
A few weeks into my relationship with “Ben,” I left town for about two months. The week after we moved in together, I left again. Every couple comes into a relationship with baggage, but mine was a little more literal. I’m a travel writer, and my job sends me on the road regularly. As much as it’s awesome to go to Mexico City or Copenhagen to report stories, my on-and-off travel schedule has made it hard to build relationships. And when it came to building a relationship with a dude I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I had to learn how to make it work – even when “it” was an ocean away.
In some ways, our relationship is just like any other long-distance relationship. We chat on Skype, keep in touch on IM, and make a point of checking in just to talk about normal stuff like what kind of mischief the cat has been up to. But it’s hard to get rid of the guilt I feel when I’m sitting on a beach or in an outdoor café when I know that Ben is chained to his computer at the office or going to boring meetings. Keep reading »