When “It’s just one drink” turns into “I would rather have a root canal than another martini with you”, it’s time to devise a plan to ditch your dead-end date — fast. While making a swift departure without coming off as a total jerk is tough, it is possible as long as you’ve got a well-formulated plan, says Yvonne Rice, former dating agency owner and author of Finding “The One”: A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work for You. “Because most people don’t take rejection well,” she explains, “not putting careful thought into how you’ll exit your bad date runs you the risk of sparking the ‘nasty’ in the date you’re ditching.” For Rice’s suggestions on how to escape a bad date with your reputation – and your date’s dignity – intact, read on… Keep reading »
Back when our moms were on the market, they could tell right off the bat if the foxy soda jerk was unavailable because back then married men never went anywhere without their rings. Not that a band of gold would necessarily keep a cad from straying (see also, Mad Men’s Don Draper), but at least a lady could make an informed decision about whether or not she wanted to wander into “other woman” territory.
Nowadays, it’s not so easy to tell who’s taken. Lots of married men don’t bother with rings and loads more just live with their significant others in a slightly more informal (though generally no less committed) cohabitation situation. I’ll spare you the moralizing, but I’m here to tell you that being someone’s girl on the side is a sucker’s game. Keep reading »
I am not afraid to say, that it was Paula Abdul’s “Opposites Attract” that taught me my first lesson in love; if he takes the bed, and she steals the covers, they must be a match made in relationship heaven. According to Paula, a relationship could, and would, flourish if lovers found themselves on opposing sides of the Myers Briggs Indicator.
Living in an industry town, more often than not, I have found myself in the throes of passion with a like-minded comedy-writer Democrat who favors savory snacks over sweet desserts. And most of those relationships have ended in embittered feuds over (I’ll admit) “who is funnier.”
As my mother likes to say, two spoiled brats cannot inhabit the same relationship.
So as I set off on my quest to find my mate of soul, he who encompasses all things different from me, I must first understand how different is too different? What are the differences that will allow a relationship to blossom in the sunshine of love? And what are the ones that will make it rain — creating a thunderstorm of the he-said-she-said-i-hate-you variety? Keep reading »
When your relationship is full of drama created by his mama, the road to romance can feel like a traffic jam – with her in the driver’s seat. Puzzled as to why when he’s around his mother, your man acts more like a boy? Below, Debra Mandel, Ph.D., author of “Dump That Chump: From Doormat to Diva in Only Nine Steps-A Guide to Getting Over Mr. Wrong”, answers this and some additional commonly-asked questions concerning men who aren’t yet ready to make someone other than mama number one in their lives. Keep reading »
There are online dating sites geared toward practically any highly specific interest out there, and since people are all about being green, it should be no surprise that there are tons for eco-minded people. Green Singles, Green-Passions, Earth Wise Singles, and Green Speed Dating are a few of the sites I will not be joining. I couldn’t handle being judged on yet another criterion — my carbon footprint. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer] Keep reading »
Color me cynical ladies, but let’s face it—no matter how great your relationship might be going at the moment, chances are it’s going to end. And while breaking up is never pleasant, why make the inevitable anymore painful than it has to be? Since there are very few “great” ways to dump a man, we’re going to list all the ways you shouldn’t go about kicking your once-loved to the curb:
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Food is one of the great joys of life. Or it is for most people. And when I say “most people”, I mean me.
For my ex, food was fuel, nothing more – something to be burped down between video games, beer-drinking sessions and advancing his engineering career. While studying for his degree, his dinner would routinely consist of half a loaf of bread, two packets of cookies and a large bottle of Coke. Seriously.
That’s okay when you’re a bachelor (as long as your cholesterol can take it) but can you imagine how difficult it is to keep a relationship going when your interests in food are so unbalanced? We’d go to grab dinner and a movie, but be finished with our drive-thru so soon we had hours to kill before the opening credits rolled. And it’s hard to get really romantic over a meal without wine… or a table.
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I have this theory that if I had had sexual relations with my fiance on the first date, rather than, um, later down the line (hi, future in-laws!), we would probably not be getting married, because we probably wouldn’t have had a second date. Not to make my fiance sound like an a-hole, because he really is not, but he definitely, at that single guy period of his life, was intrigued by my insistence that we take it slow. If we had slept together right away, there wouldn’t have been an excuse to see me again — like a lot of horny dudes, I’m sure he was initially interested in me for my amazingly hot body (kidding!), and, you know, a dash of my winning personality and intelligence. I know there’s a theory floating from woman to woman which says that, if you’re actually interested in a guy for more than just sex, you should wait to sleep with him until the third date — women, and I am totally generalizing here, think men lose interest if you sleep with them before that third date and also lose interest if you wait longer than that. Curious to see if this is true at all and if women give men enough credit, I decided to ask a few of the guys on my IM. And ladies? You can sleep with these dudes whenever you want. It’s clear that first date, third date, 50th date, they are down.
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Remember back when the mere mention of his name would give you a white-hot jolt to the heart? The sound of his voice was like an exquisite punch to the gut? His hand brushed against yours, and you’d get a warm swelling in the heart region? Yeah, well these days all you feel is sick to your stomach.
Though it seems most of us spend an inordinate time trying to get one, the truth is, once you land that boyfriend you’ve always wanted, you discover the truth— relationships can be a giant pain in the rear.
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