Tag Archives: dating

Dating Don’ts: 6 Scenarios For Getting Back Together

Like everyone else, I’ve been glued to the Chris Brown/Rihanna debacle, and was saddened when I read reports that she might get back together with someone who left her so bruised and battered.

But here’s the thing: loads of couples break up and then make up and sometimes things work out great. But knowing when, and under what circumstances, to forgive and forget is key, and most of us won’t know until we’re thrust into that situation. Here are six scenarios to consider.
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How To Apologize

“I demand an apology!”

If you have to demand it, is it really worth receiving? Forced apologies are kind of like nice plastic. Shiny, maybe even useful, but ultimately just trash.

For a long time, I wanted an official kind of apology from my husband for some jerk-like tendencies he was trying out on me. It was pretty typical Mars/Venus stuff. I wanted a demonstration of groveling to make things all right and copacetic. Which, of course, made me the total jerk. Keep reading »

How To Tell If A Guy Is Single

The absence of a wedding ring isn’t a tell-tale sign that cutie you’re crushing on is single. So here’s eight definite ways to tell if he’s single, you know, because we don’t want you to be embarrassed or heartbroken. And if you have any signs to add, let us know in the comments. Keep reading »

10 Basic Rules For A New Relationship

The beginning of a relationship can be a tricky course to navigate. Guys (like me) aren’t so good at guessing what women think or want, and our stupidity can lead to otherwise easily avoidable arguments. Setting some basic rules with your new flame may help you get past the small stuff and start enjoying your lives together. After the jump, ten guidelines to smooth the road with your new beau. Keep reading »

10 Reasons Smart People Have A Hard Time Dating

The smarter you are, the harder it is for you to get laid. Well, that’s what Dr. Alex Benzer, a Harvard man thinks. The Ivy League snob believes his fellow private college geniuses (yes, he even listed specific schools that qualify) suffer under the weight of their giant brains. So, in a piece for the Huffington Post, he gave his five reasons why smarties can’t get in anyone’s pants. Here are the Cliff’s Notes style version for us lazy students, plus five of our own theories…

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Dating Don’ts: Seven Ways To Fire Someone From Your Life

How many people do you know who’ve been downsized? Terminated? Let go? Fired? However you word it, the result is the same: Bummer, dude! According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 4.1 million people have lost their jobs in the last year alone. (The current total is about 11.6 million.)

To add insult to financial injury, some of these firings are handled horribly. Workers report being locked out of their offices, escorted out by security guards, or being replaced by less-experienced (cheaper) employees. Frequently, those lucky enough to hang onto their jobs are asked to take on more work for less dough.

It got me thinking about how similar firing someone from their job is to firing someone from your life. So, I took a gander through a bunch of employment guides and found some resources that could prove useful in your romantic life.
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Sex & The Show-Me State: Dating A Dad

For months I watched women swoon over “The Bachelor,” Jason Mesnick, a divorced single father, and I just couldn’t understand why. The whole thing was cute, sure, but didn’t these ladies get that people with kids have different priorities than those of us who have yet to procreate?

“Wow!” was all I could muster, followed by, “I think you’re the first person I’ve ever been on a date with who’s been married. But it’s not like you have kids, right?”

”When I went to see some live music last week, I found myself more into a bartender than the band. He had a beard, black-framed glasses and a mess of curly hair tucked up into a stocking cap—exactly my type. But every time I tried to order from him, another bartender would intercept. While my ill-fated attempt at conversation resulted in a few too many trips to the bar, I at least worked up enough liquid courage to give him my number … sort of. I scribbled “You, with the hat” alongside my name and number on a piece of paper, and left it by the tip jar on my way out. A few days later he called and the next night we were exchanging shy smiles and embarrassing stories over whiskey on the rocks.

I was smitten. He was cute, smart and much nicer than I expected (in my experience, his look is favored by grumbly hipsters). He played in a local alt-country band and paid for my drinks. Little did I know, he was building up some liquid courage of his own.

“I should tell you something,” he said halfway through our third round. “I’ve been married before.”

“Wow!” was all I could muster, followed by, “I think you’re the first person I’ve ever been on a date with who’s been married. But it’s not like you have kids, right?”

“Well, that’s what I was getting at. I have two. I figured I should probably just get that out of the way now.”

He explained that when he was 19, he married his high school girlfriend after she got pregnant. They had two kids and divorced a few years later. He now has his son and daughter every other weekend and attends all of their school functions. In fact, his relationship with his kids sounded a lot like the one my sister and I had with our father.

After I got over the initial shock, I was surprised at how much it didn’t matter to me. Had my bearded bartender told me he had kids before we went out, I would have found a reason to cancel. But I already liked him and the fact that he had two munchkins around every other weekend wasn’t going to keep me from having fun with him that night, or the next time we went out. Plus, given my success rate with dating, I figured it was too early to worry about something that wouldn’t affect me unless we were to get serious.

I ultimately had to face the fact that as I get older—and, well, do things like move to the Midwest—the chances of dating men who have already been married or have children are going to increase, which isn’t necessarily all bad. I knew on the first date that I wasn’t wasting my time with someone who couldn’t deal with life or handle responsibility. And that’s more than I can say for most of the men I’ve dated.

Is Our Facebook Romance Real?

The guy I lost my virginity to found me on Facebook a few months ago. I opened my inbox to read, “Is this Teri? If so, hit me back.” It was an absurdly casual message, as if he had no idea I associated him with puking from anesthesia in the parking lot of an abortion clinic. The shock I felt when I saw the name Jeffery* in my inbox is a testament to how successful I had been at forgetting everything that happened between us. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Six Ways To Avoid Falling In Love

What do you get when you fall in love? According the fan-freaking-tastic Dionne Warwick—and she should know from heartache—“You get enough tears to fill an ocean/That’s what you get for your devotion.” Sing it, sister!

Sure, you get other stuff, too: hearts, cupids, hickeys, the fun stuff. But sometimes the bad outweighs the good, and every once in a while a lady needs to take a break and keep her heart safe from scoundrels looking to shatter it.

However, that doesn’t mean you should hole up alone in beat-up pajamas with only your old pals Netflix and Jim Beam for company. Even when you’re not in the market for love, it’s good to keep one toe in the dating pool. You just need to date effectively. Here are some ways to keep your heart safe while the rest of you has fun.
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Job Disqualifications: Eight Types Of Men You Can’t Work With

According to “Page Six,” Parker Posey tipped a babelicious bartender 50 bucks on two glasses of wine. Clearly the recession isn’t affecting her hot pocket! But Parker, baby girl, hitting on a bartender is like trying to hold a rainbow. Sure, something about a man serving you is pretty darn seductive, but every girl in the room is getting his attention. Certain men are just hazardous to date because of how they earn their paycheck doesn’t allow them to value you. Here are some jobs that taint your chance at romance… Keep reading »

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