Tag Archives: dating

Dear Wendy: “Should I MOA?”

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, the last three months of which have been long distance as I had to move for grad school. We only live three hours apart, so we still get to see each other a couple times a month. For most of the last three months, we have been fine — I felt happy, secure, and more fulfilled in a relationship then I ever had been before. However, for the last two or three weeks I just plain feel like I don’t have a boyfriend. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to spend time together recently. Our conversations have not been particularly interesting and I feel like he isn’t putting in a lot of effort. He hardly ever compliments me or returns it when I compliment him, his idea of sympathy is saying “that’s too bad,” and he’s even reticent to return my dirty texts. I feel bad, because he’s not particularly verbally expressive and I feel like I’m being too needy, but I don’t feel content, fulfilled, or even particularly happy right now. I’ve stopped trying because I’m tired of nagging him to be more affectionate and to take initiative. I feel like it would be better if we were actually in the same area code, but moving is not financially possible for him, and there are no graduate programs close to him that I could transfer to. Is there anything I can do or should I just MOA? — Up against a wall

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Dear Wendy Updates: “Dude Dilemma” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Dude Dilemma,” the woman who was approached by a guy she had a “fun” first date with about getting a hotel room for their second date. “I declined the hotel offer,” she wrote, “but he pushed the issue, suggesting it would ‘make our relationship stronger.’” She asked me what I’d do if I were in her position and I said I’d MOA (move on already). After the jump, find out if she did just that. Keep reading »

Did Chivalry Kill Feminism?

In the 1950s, the rules of dating etiquette were clearer. A man knew it was not only acceptable but expected for him to open the door for his date, pull out her chair and pay for the meal. These days, the line between appreciated chivalrous acts and condescending behaviors is fuzzy at best. The feminist movement brought women the right to vote and earn equal pay, but it sure made the practice of dating more confusing in the process. It would be a dateless man indeed who didn’t acknowledge a woman’s right to make her own decisions when it comes to her life, her money, her body, and her mind — but how do you reconcile that respect with the kind of attitude a man is encouraged to project on a date? Read more Keep reading »

Help! He’s Terrible At Buying Me Gifts

My husband cannot shop. He’s awful at buying gifts. He tries really hard, but it’s just not his thing. One year, I got socks. Then there were the years where I got electronic gifts—fun for him, but not for me (and no woman really wants a clothes steamer as her big Christmas gift, no matter how useful it is). Once I got a fishing pole. He’s tried to buy jewelry, but I never like it. Keep reading »

Is Your Boyfriend Bisexual?

I just found out (via some totally sane Internet stalking) that my boyfriend used to have a thing with a guy. We’ve only been dating a few weeks. Should I be concerned? Should he have told me? How do I bring this up? Read more Keep reading »

Can You Tell How A First Date Is Going To Go In The First 3 Seconds?

How long does it take to make a first impression? 15 seconds? 7 seconds? 3 seconds? I’ve been doing some dating lately (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEONE HELP ME), and I’ve come to the conclusion that I can tell how a date is going to go within the first three seconds. My shrink thinks this is poppycock, some fantasy of omnipotence, but what does he know? In any case, I believe — and this is the key — that if I’m totally honest with myself, I know exactly how the date will go virtually immediately: the second I set eyes on the guy.

When you go on a first date, is your first impression usually right or wrong? Keep reading »

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