Last week I had a new OK Cupid date, this time with someone who fit my type. You see, I have a type that I wish were my type: guys in plaid, guys who are sensitive, guys who look like they’d be friends with Ryan Gosling, guys who are over 5’9″. And then I have my real type: the guy who I’m inexplicably drawn to and drawn to me, too. This type of guy is dark-haired, under 5’9″, and extremely confident.
This latest guy (let’s call him the Sneakerhead) fit my type to a T, but he had some bonus features: a cool sneaker collection (you can tell a lot about a guy by his shoes), a good tan (a product of his half-Argentinian ancestry), he was a hip-hop fan, and he wears glasses. Oh, and he has a tattoo. And he doesn’t have a doughboy body. He’s my real type, plus perfection. Keep reading »
I recently read Jeff Mac’s very funny book, Manslations (Sourcebooks), which is basically a phrase book for ladies to help us decipher the Language of Lads. It’s certainly a time-saver for those of us used to spending hours IM’ing our friends, dissecting last night’s date’s behavior.
But the fact is, men aren’t the only ones who say one thing and mean another . . . some miscommunications transcend gender lines. Here are eight… Keep reading »
Today, more women than ever are wildly ambitious and intellectually curious. According to Harvard Business School’s e-publication “Working Knowledge,” women now make up 35 to 40 percent of business school applicants; women also make up the majority in the undergraduate populations at more than one Ivy League college.
According to the BBC, the average woman’s workweek is now half a day longer than it was five years ago—sometimes with more work waiting to be done at home. The media has coined the term “alpha female” to describe these assertive, strong, successful women who are big on work.
But how do these hyper-ambitious alpha females navigate the dating land? Keep reading »
When I asked an old friend why she hadn’t just broken up with her live-in boyfriend instead of beginning a messy affair with a married neighbor, she snapped, “Don’t be stupid—nobody leaves a relationship without having another one in place.”
Oh, please, I corrected her. Of course they do. People fall out of love or get angry and leave without a safety net all the time. But as I thought back, I realized that for as long as I knew her, she never had. Even when she pretty much hated the one she was with, she stuck it out until she’d lined up his replacement. I could never understand why. My friend is beautiful, successful and very smart; surely being single for a little while wouldn’t end her world.
Women aren’t the only ones guilty of this. I know—and have unfortunately dated——plenty of men who careen from one girlfriend directly into another, often with a big fat overlap; connecting the two relationships like a murky Venn diagram. I understand that being single can be annoying and lonely sometimes, but there are plenty of good reasons not to be—or date!—an Overlapper.
Keep reading »
“My boyfriend and I are not on the same page, intellectually speaking. Are we doomed?” – Alexis, New York
Want to check out more? Visit YourTango.com or check out these related links:
An Unlikely Boyfriend
How Evolved Is Your Relationship?
Boys Are Clueless Keep reading »
I never thought I would be in the position of dating with a broken engagement under my belt. I hope to never have another. As I’ve started dating again, I’ve had to think about how honest I want to be about my prior relationship history. So, how honest do I want to be? Totally.
At first, I thought that I had been engaged might work in my favor. Men are inclined to assume a woman is more interested in something serious than they are, that women want more from men than they’re ready to give. After all, women are always a little further ahead on the marriage path, aren’t they? But I was engaged and dumped. I’m newly single. Therefore, I must project a “just looking to have fun and meet new people” vibe, right?
Apparently not. Keep reading »
You like the movies, and he likes TV. You make the bed, and he steals the covers. You take two steps forward, and he takes two steps back. But you come together because opposites attract. Right? Not exactly. Despite the success of Paula Abdul’s catchy 1989 hit, the complexities of human attraction continue to befuddle the biologists, psychologists, and romantics who dare to ask the perennial questions: why, when, and how are we attracted to people so different from ourselves? Keep reading »
Have you been watching “Tough Love” on VH1? It took a bit to grow on me. Now, not only do I love the show, I may be harboring a secret crush on host Steve Ward.
I bring this up because a couple weeks ago, he had the ladies participate in an impromptu game show that he called “Cute or Crazy.” Not surprisingly, one contestant’s habit of letting her cats choose her boyfriends was dubbed “crazy,” while another’s Riverdance reenactment qualified as “cute.”
Many of us have some behaviors that might be misinterpreted as kooky, when they’re actually just quirky. Take, for example, how I get livid if anyone dares to crack one of my magazines open before I’ve had a chance to browse through it. That’s perfectly understandable. Right? Keep reading »
Are you a woman who is pretty successful in most parts of your life — good job, great friends, nice apartment — but you can’t seem to get it together when it comes to meeting guys and dating? We used to think this was normal, but now there’s a name for the “disorder”: Modern Female Dating Anxiety. Ryan and Jessica Cassady, a husband and wife duo who work (respectively) as a life coach and a clinical psychologist/sex therapist, introduce the term in Stop Wondering If You’ll Ever Meet Him. Apparently, MFDA is when normally self-assured women struggle with dating, developing symptoms like sweaty palms, shallow breathing, and obsessive behavior as a result of modern dating practices. The shift from more formal courtships to casual dating, booty calling, and hookups seem to have stripped some successful women of their confidence. Yes, dating in this day and age is complicated with no clear rules, but we feel a little torn. While it’s nice to know we’re not alone in being short of confidence in the romantic relationships part of our lives, we’re not so sure we have a disorder that requires a name. [Sydney Morning Herald] Keep reading »