Tag Archives: dating

Women Play Games: Endgames. So What?

“Endgame: the stage of a chess game after major reduction of forces; also : the final stage of some action or process.” — Merriam-Webster

I guess you could say there’s an ongoing cultural “debate” over whether or not women play games. Most men say women play games. Most women say they don’t. Personally, I’ve been on this planet long enough that I have come to the conclusion that women do play games … but so what if they do?

I was trying to explain this to someone the other night. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Facebook Ruined My First Love

Facebook is really great for reconnecting with old friends and finding out what your buddies are up to. What it is also great for: shattering every illusion you ever had about your first love–just like it did for me this weekend.

I first spotted Jeremy when I was a sixth grade student at a public magnet school in Fort Worth, Texas. He looked exactly like Jay Underwood, the guy who played Tia’s loser boyfriend Bug in “Uncle Buck,” which is to say that he was incredibly hot. I never spoke to him — NEVER — but I rode the hour each way to school with him every day. And, it turned out, his mom was my English teacher. She was firm, but friendly — and she was my only link to the strange but beautiful creature that was her son. Sometimes I would stick around after class to see if he would stop by.

I never spoke to Jeremy, until the very last day I lived in Texas. My dad is a nuclear engineer, and growing up we moved a round a lot — from nuclear power plant to nuclear power plant. I used to joke that we were the modern-day Joads (a joke that only works if you are a Grapes of Wrath fan). We were moving from Ft. Worth to New Jersey, and I finally worked up the courage to tell Jeremy how I felt. I wrote him a letter telling him how interesting and unique I thought he was. I told him I was moving but that I’d like to write letters to him, if he wanted. I slipped the notebook paper to him as I was getting off the bus on my final interminable ride home. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Scared To Say ‘I Love You’”

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a while now, and quite a few times in the past few months (especially recently) he’s told me that he loves me or is in love with me. Every time I’m with him my thoughts are screaming “I love you!” and I want to say it, and I’ve tried, but my head can never tell my mouth what to say, which leaves me wondering if I do indeed love him. When I’m with him, everything is finally okay, but when we’re apart, I don’t feel exactly right. I’m willing to do anything to see him happy, even if it means bending over backwards, which I’ve done, and I’ve sacrificed my own happiness for him a few times (he was unaware of it though) just to help things work for him. Twenty years from now, I want more than anything for him to be happy and with the love of his life, but sometimes I don’t think I’m her. There are times when I feel like we’re great now, but not necessarily forever, and that leaves me wondering if I really love him. What does it mean to you to be in love? If you’re in love does it mean that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, or can it simply be something just for now? And also, how do I go about telling my boyfriend that I love him, when every time I’ve wanted to and tried, I’ve failed? I feel like I can’t rely on myself to say a simple “I love you” so are there other ways to do it, while keeping it incredibly romantic and memorable? — Love Shy

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OK Cupid Says Being Uglier Actually Makes You More Attractive

OK Cupid has attempted to decode the algorithm of the male lizard brain. Using women on the site as data, they demystified female beauty in the eye of the male beholder. Well kind of … beauty being defined in this case as getting the most messages. Keep reading »

How I Knew He Wasn’t The One

Definitely NOT The One
25 signs "The One" ain't him... Read More »
The Do-Not-Date List
Guys you should avoid at all costs! Read More »
Not The One
Four signs he's not the guy for you. Read More »

In the latest issue of Glamour, there’s this really interesting feature called “How I Knew” which features short little essays by men on “how they knew” certain things: “How I Knew I Really Would Marry Her,” “How I Knew I Was Going To Cheat,” etc. My favorite of the bunch was “How I Knew She Wasn’t The One,” in which writer Adam Sternbergh rather humorously describes how he knew various women weren’t “the one” until he finally did meet the one who was. Now, I’m not really a big believer in “the one,” so to speak, as I think we all have lots of of ones, but I am a big believer that we have even more people in our lives who were NOT the one and we can usually pinpoint one particular moment when that became clear. So, in the vein of Sternbergh’s essay for Glamour, here’s my own “How I Knew He Wasn’t The One.”
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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Is Obsessed With My 8 Pound Weight Gain”

I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. Initially, he was the pursuer, but as time passed I fell completely in love. We were stable, playful, and even got a dog together. Starting in October, though, he started being shady: [at] bars all the time, getting too drunk to drive home and staying at his friend’s house (who happened to live with a girl who was a previous hook-up of his), lying about who he was with and just being sneaky in general. I panicked and clung harder than ever, became suspicious and snooped and only made myself feel worse. And then we moved past it and were happy again. Then, last Sunday, he said we “needed to talk.” I feared the worst: cheating? Breakup? Nope. He has been seriously preoccupied with my eight pound weight gain. He says his preoccupation is the reason for his distance, and that he’d hate for us to have to plan our lives around my weight gain. (You know, since being 5’6, 165 lbs seriously inhibits my lifestyle.) I don’t feel like it’s unreasonable for him to say something about maybe working out more, but blaming our relationship issues on my weight gain? Since he told me, he has been affectionate and loving again; he says he just needed to get it off his chest and now everything will be fine. But I’m pissed. Is it worth it for me to put up with his shallowness? I don’t think it’s okay to blame everything on eight pounds. Am I overreacting? Or should I MOA? — 165 and Ready to run

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