As I see it, there should be no discussion of a relationship, or exclusivity, within the first three months of dating. Those three months should be a drama and ultimatum-free zone. No jealousy or commitment. Just a period of savoring; the gritty, totally worth it hard work can come later. Save it, potentially, for the rest of your life.
If something works between two people, then there is no rush. That “click” will still be there in three months, and hopefully six, and a year, etc. And once you find that unlucky slob who will Eskimo kiss you when you’re sick, all you have to do in order to preserve your new found mutual attraction is to chill the f**k out, have faith, and not flinch. Let it happen. Keep reading »
It seems that all anyone is talking about lately is the economy, so why is money still such a tough topic to discuss with your nearest and dearest? They say married couples fight over money more than anything else, but what about when you just started dating? That’s possibly even more awkward. Keep reading »
Rich Santos, Marie Claire‘s male dating columnist, wants to know why women love jerks. (This question is the male equivalent of us wondering why men are so drawn to high-maintenance bitches.) To find out, I IM’d my friend Katrina*, who has dated more jerks than I’ve dated fixer-uppers (another common guy type women are drawn to), to find out why they have such a powerful hold over her.
*Name has been changed Keep reading »
An easy way to spot a dating trend? When the same thing happens to two women at The Frisky (we’re a small staff). The trend I’ve thus spotted? Men giving women mix CDs on or around the first date. How retro right? The truth is, giving someone you’ve just met a mix CD is a bold move. Chances are, you don’t know what the recipient’s taste in music is like and therefore have no clue if 10 emotastic indie rock songs will go over with a girl who likes hardcore hip-hop. Additionally, music sends a message; when you choose 10+ songs especially for someone, you’re asking for some “He’s Just That Into You”-style overanalyzation. Nevermind the fact that giving someone music is sort of intimate, often too intimate for even the first month of a new relationship, let alone the first date. But that didn’t stop two guys we just met. Keep reading »
Last night I had a date. It didn’t go so well, and I did everything in my power to get it off to a good start. I shaved my legs, washed my hair, and cleaned my apartment (hey, you never know). Alas, doing those seemed to have brought me bad luck. After the jump, how to jinx a date and how to guarantee it will go well. Keep reading »
You’ve got a whole lot of love and you want to give it away to every Tom, Dick and Mary! While swinging around town, perking up your love life with new stud muffins sounds oh-so-sexy, there are some pitfalls of passion that could ruin the relationship you’ve already got going on. Loving more than one person at a time, or polyamory, is an exciting lifestyle, but you’ve got to make sure you’re not living too dangerously. You have to look out for jealousy, fear and, of course, number one. So, here are some tips on how to juggle multiple partners and safely share your fun lovin’ attitude about sex after the jump….
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There’s a more than 1,000-word story in today’s New York Times about giving someone you’re dating the keys to your apartment: Is it a big deal? Is it a sign that he or she is The One? Should you change the locks if you break up? I suppose that for me, giving someone a set of keys to my apartment would be a big deal, because I don’t really like having guys over unless I actually like them. My teeny apartment is my home — I don’t want to bring in any riffraff. Annika knew that her relationship wasn’t over when she and her man took a break and he told her to keep the keys to his place. And Amelia thinks the key thing is a big step in a relationship, but so is an offer to dog sit if she goes out of town, or picking up her favorite things at the grocery. What are the relationship milestones that tell you when things are really getting serious? Keep reading »
Feminine touches make a house a home, but before you invite a man back to your place on Valentine’s Day, you’ve gotta make it dude-friendly. Think of it like baby-proofing a place, but for the other kind of baby! You don’t want him to get turned off by your knickknacks when he’s already turned on by the mere thought of seeing your junk. So, here’s how to get your space ready for sexy time ….
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Sometime when I wasn’t looking, Valentine’s Day metamorphosed from a C-list kids’ holiday, with pink and red candy and construction-paper hearts, into an extravaganza. The regular-person equivalent of Oscar Night, but instead of Best Picture or Best Supporting Actress, prizes are given for Best Achievement in the Acquisition of a Leading Man.
But what if you don’t have a new pet “project” to promote or arm candy to show off? Better stay home rather than remind everyone that you couldn’t land the role of girlfriend, even for one night. Cause being single is cause for as much mortification as a bad dress on the red carpet. Keep reading »
Valentine’s Day is this weekend, and once again I’m reminded how irrelevant the occasion is to anyone who’s actually in love. Aside from kids and their handmade cards, Valentine’s Day is really just for the lonely, sad, and insecure. Think about it. When was the last time you heard anyone who was happily coupled up express anything remotely resembling excitement over the big day? More likely, they don’t express any thoughts about it at all. Because happily coupled up people don’t think about Valentine’s Day. And why should they? If couples are doing it right, they don’t need to wait for some manufactured Hallmark occasion to celebrate their love. Keep reading »