In the few months following my breakup from Mr. Ex-Jessica, if and how to couple up again has hovered in the periphery of my mind. It’s clear to me that I’m still very sore about the breakup and earning my trust will be a slow, perhaps even
Sisyphysian Sisyphean, task for a man. But still I want occasional companionship: although there’s plenty of things to enjoy about being newly single, like lots of time to read books and hang out with my girl friends, it’s also nice to have drinks and flirt with a dude sometimes. I am OK at this point with that companionship being totally casual. In fact, I think it has to be casual. I’m not ready to be in a committed relationship or to be anyone’s girlfriend so soon.
I thought I’d found someone online to casually date: he’s smart, he’s funny, he took care of me, and he understood how sore I still am from the breakup. He’s an all-around wonderful guy who would make a great boyfriend to someone. It warmed the cockles of my black, bitter heart to know that there are good single men out there. But after about six weeks or so of going on dates once or twice a week, it became clear to me that our personalities are just too different. We clashed so many times that the romantic butterflies flew away, so to speak. I wrestled with the idea of continuing to date him because, after all, it was just casual. But putting myself in his shoes, I asked if I’d want someone to keep going on dates with me even if they weren’t feeling anything anymore. I decided “no” and that I would end things with him.
But the way I finally broke up with him was just … not … good. Keep reading »
“Guys Who Like Fat Chicks.”
I assumed the worst when I read that headline. Can you blame me? As I started to read the Village Voice article about men who are attracted to obese women, I prepared myself to be offended by men who objectify and fetishize a stigmatized, marginalized group of women to get their rocks off. Luckily, what I read was surprisingly respectful and nuanced. Keep reading »
Matt Simpson of Tempe, Arizona is willing to go the distance to find the woman of his dreams online. Because he finds dating sites to be overcrowded and shallow cesspools where women get bombarded, he decided to take a more original approach to increase his odds of finding love. At a cost of $0.75 a click, Matt started his own Facebook ad campaign in which he describes himself as an “active, aware 30-something seeking a balanced woman like you.” He set his campaign to target women whose profiles indicate an interest in yoga, meditation, and New Age books. You can click on his ad to be sent directly to a profile where you learn more about Matt. Keep reading »
I walked into the restaurant and spotted Old Flame sitting at the bar sipping a beer. He looked better than I remembered and when I hugged him I felt a stirring in my nether regions.
Near the end of a dinner filled with laughter, Old Flame’s hazel eyes turned serious. He reached across the table and gave me an unexpected kiss on the lips. It was soft and sweet. No tongue. Keep reading »
The decision to cohabit with my now ex-boyfriend Jeff was prompted by a fight over my period.
Jeff and I came back to my place after dinner to find my male roommate and some of his buddies sitting on the couch. He was angry because he just got laid off. He was drunk. In general he was a big a**hole. Keep reading »
Everything I ever needed to know about dating, I learned selling comedy tickets on the streets of New York City. Convincing a grouchy New Yorker to give you cash money for magic beans is a brutal way to make a living, much less a buck. But it was while pounding the proverbial pavement like a shabby salesman on the verge of death that I learned that one cannot fail forever. The big story of success, in sales or in love, is actually many smaller stories of failures. Keep reading »