Tag Archives: dating

What Do You Do When A Guy Sends You A Drink?

I went out for dinner on Saturday with a group of friends, and throughout the night, this guy kept catching my eye. I really wasn’t attracted to him so I didn’t make a big deal out of the situation. Then, as my dinner was winding down, the server came over and told me someone at the bar would like to buy me a drink. I accepted another glass of moscato wine and lifted my glass to thank him when he looked over at me. I haven’t been on the dating scene in more than two years and was perplexed over what to do next … and so were my friends, which included one married couple. So when he came over to talk to me, I thought it would be less awkward if we talked alone. I knew I had absolutely no interest in this guy, but I didn’t want to be rude. The conversation, however, was really awkward, especially when he told me he was a “lobstertrician” (whatever that means). And I thought there must have been a polite way I could have accepted the drink, but bowed out of the conversation respectfully without hurting his feelings. Do you have any suggestions on how this situation could have gone differently? And if I had been attracted to the guy, what would have been the suave, flirty way to handle this? Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: Love Lost

I’m devastated. And so paralyzed by losing Alex that I can hardly move. I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through my day, and feel as if I’ve almost forgotten how to walk, talk, sleep, eat, or think. Things will get better, I know. But for the moment, I’m really in the thick of it, and kicking myself for knowing I’d likely find myself here in the first place.

The week was quiet after Alex left Paris last Sunday. Later that same evening, I heard from him on IM. He told me he had gotten home safe and had a great time. I tried to keep the conversation going, but he was fairly unresponsive, and remained that way in the following days. I figured he was taking time to digest, and that the best thing to do was to give him some space. But around Thursday, my heart couldn’t take the silence for much longer, and after a public breakdown I had to email him. “We obviously have a significant history,” I wrote. “And the wonderful time we had together last week left me wondering if we’re getting back into it, or if I should expect not to see you again.” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: When Exes Rear Their Ugly Heads

My ex, who I dated for all of six months about three years ago, wants to reconnect. After the breakup, he moved far away to a completely different state and I haven’t seen or talked to him since he horribly ended it by taping a note to my car window. We weren’t together for very long but when we were, everything just seemed right. When he ended it, I was devastated. Well, he recently called me on Christmas Eve to wish me “Merry Christmas” and to ask how I’ve been doing. I’ve been dating someone else for a long time and I consider my new relationship to be very serious. Since he’s called, we’ve exchanged emails and Facebook messages almost daily and have talked on the phone occasionally. He’s back home visiting family and has asked to see me before he leaves. I told him I’d meet him for lunch in a few days, but I’m nervous about seeing him again and I’m worried that my old feelings will come back. He keeps telling me that I’m the last serious relationship he’s had and, since I’m taken, he’s going to have to either wait until I’m “back on the market so he can sweep me off my feet” or be single forever. What do I do? Should I stand him up and take the guilt, or confront my past in all of its not-so-glory-ness? — Second Guessing

Keep reading »

Social Media’s A Stage, And We’re All Merely Players

Hey, breaking news, guys: the paper of record has just discovered that social media makes breaking up harder than it used to be. In an article called “Breaking Up in a Digital Fishbowl,” The New York Times reports that in this day of shared email passwords, Facebook, Twitter and various other social media platforms, it’s nearly impossible to truly disconnect from an ex:

[The] idea of what it means to break up is [also] being redefined. Where once a spurned lover could use scissors (literally) to cut an ex out of the picture, digital images of the smiling couple in happier days abound on the Web and are difficult to delete. Status updates and tweets have a way of wending their way back to scorned exes, thanks to the interconnectedness of social media. And breakups, awkward and drawn-out in person, are even more so online as details are parsed by the curious, their faces pressed against the digital glass.

Even for those of us who have been spared messy online breakups, it isn’t exactly news that sites like Facebook redefine (and invent new) dating rituals that are complex and difficult to navigate. Though the article lacks any actual news, it does give us an excuse to revisit the issue, one that brings many questions to the forefront. Like: is the convenience of connection worth the price of our privacy? And: are we merely “performers” on the stage of social media platforms, continually changing our role as our relationships to the other players change and evolve? Keep reading »

Will Someone Please Give @NeedyGirlfriend A Book Deal?

S**t My Dad Says? Fake AP? They’re old news, bitch. The new must-follow Twitter feed in town is @NeedyGirlfriend.

The only thing to say about Needy Girlfriend’s insecurities is they are effing hilarious. Is she fat? Does her hair smell like hair? She wasn’t checking your texts; she was skimming your phone with her eyes. Needy Girlfriend doesn’t care if she’s just a friend—it’s unacceptable for you to be hanging out with that girl! Of course, no needy girlfriend would be complete without the emotionally unavailable man in her life who makes her feel insecure: @AloofBoyfriend. Not only is he blissfully unaware of all the things Needy Girlfriend frets about, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. We’re guessing these kids have their own book deal by the time Needy Girlfriend plans—err, accidentally has—her next pregnancy scare. [Needy Girlfriend and Aloof Boyfriend] Keep reading »

Single Ladies Rejoice! Living With Someone Causes Weight Gain

Dang it, we knew there had to be a trade-off for getting sex on demand when you live with a partner: A recent Australian study of 6,000 women has shown that, after 10 years, the average gal gains 15 lbs. if she lives with a partner and 20 lbs. if she lives with someone and has a baby. According to The New York Times, “There is no reason to believe that having a partner causes metabolic changes, so the weight gain among childless women with partners was almost surely caused by altered behavior.” You know, like those post-coital pints of Cherry Garcia.

Keep reading »

Dater X: I Got Dumped For Christmas

Fine, I’ll admit it. I had many a daydream about how I was going to spend the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I was looking forward to a staycation and getting to spend lots of time with the Architect. We’d been dating for a month and a half and I imagined us heading out in the snow to museums, cuddling up on the couch to watch TV shows, going to parties as a couple, and having sleepovers where, for once, we could actually sleep in. So my stomach got that just-belly-flopped-off-the-high-dive feeling when he called on Christmas Eve and said, “Can we talk?”

Noooooooooo! Keep reading »

365 Days In Paris: Goodbye For Good?

It all happened so quickly. And was over just as fast.

At 9 a.m. on Wednesday morning, I found myself unexpectedly waiting at the Gare du Nord, my heart beating out of my chest and my head spinning like crazy. It was only 12 hours ago that my ex-love, Alex, had come back into my life, and it took only a fistful of Euros and a three-hour train ride to close the distance—both metaphorical and physical—between us.

Strangely, it had been almost a year since Alex and I saw each other last. We’d struck up a blog romance last year and had such a profound connection that we had crossed the Atlantic a few times to see each other. Keep reading »

Why Am I Still Single?

I was on the phone with my friend Beth, a 31-year-old international sales exec at a major Hollywood film studio.

“I can’t believe a four-year relationship could end with us living on two separate coasts,” she said, “But he was traveling so much and I finally just told him, ‘This is not what I signed up for when I got involved with you.’ So, we’re officially separated.”

She sighed. I sighed.

“Anyway enough about me, what about you, Italian girl? I thought they worshiped American women in the land of pasta and love, why are you still single?” Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: A Celebrity Primer

The New Year is a time for taking stock, a time for looking back and learning as well as looking ahead towards a richer future, secure in knowing that the lessons we’ve learned this past year will help us lead a better life in the next.

Obviously, there is no better source for these life lessons than within the annals of celebrity gossip. Celebrities are richer than us, prettier than us, and—with rare exception—skinnier than us. We watch them onscreen and/or listen to their songs—why shouldn’t we learn from their mistakes?

Sadly for them, 2009 was a rough year for famous people in relationships. There were more breakups than there were deaths! But luckily for us, there are valuable nuggets of knowledge contained within almost every celebrity split … Keep reading »

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